# Fucking, BDSM almost cost me my job today. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 11, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925 "2001-10-11T23:37:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/1 "2001-10-11T23:37:22Z")
I work hard, and accomplish much at my company. With all this hard work comes the need for an occasional break. That’s why I get together with Henrietta from Accounts Payable on a regular basis for some bondage, S&M, and plain old sex. We’ve had our interludes in various locations around the office to keep things interesting. You name it, we’ve done it: tied up with Kroy labels in the copy room, a good spanking with a ten-foot extension cord in maintenance, some rolling around in a pile of toner on the printer room floor, and some things that I’d just rather keep private. Well, today was a great day. I had finally conviced Claudia from the Materials Lab to join us. So, there we were, taking a much deserved break from our hard work. I had Claudia’s wrists tied up with a mouse cord and was doing her doggy style while swatting her ass with the monitor cable. She was eagerly gobbling up the contents of my Kraft pudding cup from Henrietta’s pudendum. I had tied one Henrietta’s ankles to my desk with my keyboard cord and the other with my phone cord. She was slapping me in the face as I was giving it to Claudia. It was awesome. But, just as Claudia and I were about to climax together… …my boss walks in, and _screams_, “What the hell is going on here?! Strainger, in my office, _now_!!” Bastard didn’t even let me finish. So, I go into his office, and he’s giving me a bunch of lip about how I “shouldn’t be doing that at work” and how it’s “not professional” and how he has “a good mind to fire” me. What the fuck! I get a lot done around here. I finish all of my projects on time, if not ahead of schedule. I’ve even completed some side projects that have greatly improved our efficiency over the last couple of years. Then, just because I decided to take a short break, this son of a bitch decides to bawl me out and threaten my job! Goddammit, I hate this place. I’m sick of working for this ungrateful tyrant. I’m going to find another job, after I burn down the building. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/2 "2001-10-11T23:42:15Z")
Wahahahahahahahaha! Ohmigod, I’m cryin’ here. 🙂 Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/3 "2001-10-11T23:49:35Z")
Dude, I slept in the same room as you in SLO. I’m suddenly very afraid. 😉 AARRRRRRRRRR! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/4 "2001-10-11T23:51:14Z")
i think i will reconsider and fire him tommorow, right after i finish with the performance evaluations for the girls… ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/5 "2001-10-12T00:02:40Z")
And to think I…oh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/6 "2001-10-12T00:05:55Z")
Back off, man. Claudia’s mine ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/7 "2001-10-12T00:33:44Z")
I started laughing before I even got the thread open. I nearly peed myself. Bahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/8 "2001-10-12T00:49:32Z")
Key riced! I can’t stop laughing. Brilliant. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/9 "2001-10-12T01:12:58Z")
How do you do it doggy style and beat her on the bum at the same time? I’m puzzled but intrigued. ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/10 "2001-10-12T01:37:39Z")
\*bows and tips his hat to **Strainger** … **That** was absolutely marvelous. Thank you. 🙂 -Stil ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/11 "2001-10-12T01:45:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Primaflora \* > **How do you do it doggy style and beat her on the bum at the same time?** How _else_ does one do it if not Doggy Style? Unless Kiwi Bums are located elsewhere than European ones, of course. 😉 (Or Kiwis have a different definition of Doggy Style, perhaps? The mind boggles!) ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/12 "2001-10-12T01:46:14Z")
Priceless…absolutely priceless. If you want to come to my…uh…‘home’ office, I’ll let you use my office supplies on me. heh. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/13 "2001-10-12T02:13:27Z")
I want to work with Strainger, but I only give spankings. You won’t mind will ya dear ? ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/14 "2001-10-12T02:14:45Z")
Great. Just GREAT. I’m never going to be able to walk into an Office Depot without laughing again. ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/15 "2001-10-12T02:26:47Z")
Coldfire he was beating her with a monitor cord while doing it doggy style! How? Diagrams appreciated please. How would one get enough swing room? ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/16 "2001-10-12T02:33:14Z")
Hah! Classic. It, of course, was all the BDSMs fault. If you had stuck to plain ole missionary, you’d be fine. **Prima** , I’d imagine you swing the cable down in front of you, parallel to your body, striking across the top of her buttocks. But that’s just _my_ imagination. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/17 "2001-10-12T02:36:33Z")
Mr Primaflora just chased me around the living room and tried to demonstrate how he thinks it is done. The cat is now distraught, I tellya distraught! ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/18 "2001-10-12T02:40:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Strainger \* > I had Claudia’s wrists tied up with a mouse cord and was doing her doggy style while swatting her ass with the monitor cable. I think your boss is being very unreasonable. Couldn’t he see you weren’t interfering with her typing ? ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/19 "2001-10-12T07:58:16Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Demise_ > I’d imagine you swing the cable down in front of you, parallel to your body, striking across the top of her buttocks. But that’s just _my_ imagination. Look I will tell you all this one last time and that’s it okay? get the rhythm going then… Lean left and swat with the right hand! Lean right and swat with the left hand! Lean left and swat with the right hand! Lean right and swat with the left hand! see? Now you all do it! [**Prima** darl, I’ll be happy to give a demo next time I’m in the Big Smoke, hehe] Redleft and swat with the right hand! ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925/20 "2001-10-12T09:55:33Z")
thanks Redboss! Now Mr P is looking very nervous. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-bdsm-almost-cost-me-my-job-today/86925.md?page=2)