# Fucking Board Speed **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551 "2006-04-21T00:46:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/1 "2006-04-21T00:46:05Z")
God Damn board is acting like ASS!!! Who should I pit? The country-ass Georgia internet pipe? Or the board’s server? Please tell me, because one of them is being a serious fucking dildo!!! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/2 "2006-04-21T00:55:28Z")
This will end well. I just feel it. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/3 "2006-04-21T01:10:08Z")
I’ll wager that _right now_, 9:10 PM EDT, it flying? Right? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/4 "2006-04-21T01:10:33Z")
You joined right after I did back in the day. Do you remember back then when you had to choose links very carefully because it could take 1 - 10 minutes for each one to open? That is no joke for people that weren’t around then. I remember very carefully selecting a thread from the list, clicking on it, and then going to lunch hoping it would load successfully while I was gone. We have harnessed wild lightning now compared to then. I suppose that isn’t a great excuse but maybe if you channel yourself from back then, it will bring serenity. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/5 "2006-04-21T01:13:56Z")
Yea… lol. God that was awful. LOL… That’s where the whole “Open in New Window” habits started. Cause that way you could read the front page for ten minutes while your thread was opening. And then decide what thread you’d open next. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/6 "2006-04-21T01:17:52Z")
I think I got spoiled in Korea. Superfast internet coupled with the fact that I was viewing the board 12 hours opposite of peak time. But now, at work I am constantly hitting the “refresh” button to get the page to load. And when I get home, everything just seems to stand still. Then I slipped and clicked the “post reply” button on accident and it took like 10 minutes (felt like) just to get the thread loaded back up and ready to reply to. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/7 "2006-04-21T01:54:02Z")
For me, the painfully slow load times for threads has always been the server here. With a cable modem there are times that a page on the boards will time out, while I can go to another site and get an instant download. Though I suspect with the resources available here, it’s unlikely to expect the same perfermance if 100 people are trying to post to the different fora at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/8 "2006-04-21T02:51:14Z")
I suspected maybe it was the Cable Internet because the cable signal to my tv is pretty shitty. I think they’re using shotty rusted ass coax or something. I think I should just hate Time Warner in bumfucked Columbus. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/9 "2006-04-21T07:15:08Z")
Old farts talking about how long it USED to take doesn’t excuse the slowness of the board today. I have DSL and sometimes I want to smash my fist into my monitor while reading (trying to read) the SDMB. For a board that charges people, has Google ads, and NO graphics allowed, all of which should make this place zip lightning fast, this is the slowest, suckiest site on the web. The content, however, is the best, which is why I grumble and grumble and grumble, but will never leave. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/10 "2006-04-21T07:19:10Z")
Oooh, I hope people take that “old farts” in the grinning spirit in which it was intended. Pit or not, I didn’t intend that to be an insult to the people who were here back then. My apologies if anyone took it as such, which people probably did, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/11 "2006-04-21T13:02:26Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Do you remember back then when you had to choose links very carefully because it could take 1 - 10 minutes for each one to open? And yet some people had post counts topping 10000. That always perplexed me. ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/12 "2006-04-21T13:58:31Z")
I rarely have speed issues with the board, and then only when I’m Doping from work during the peak period, when both our office network and the board are having their heaviest usage. I have never had problems from home. I suspect that most speed problems don’t originate at the SDMB end of the pipe. (based on a sample of one (1), YMMV) ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/13 "2006-04-21T15:17:16Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Oooh, I hope people take that “old farts” in the grinning spirit in which it was intended. Pit or not, I didn’t intend that to be an insult to the people who were here back then. My apologies if anyone took it as such, which people probably did, sorry. When I JOINED THE BOARD we would have to write our posts out and send them in and they were posted five days later! ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/14 "2006-04-21T15:52:27Z")
While Moore’s Law has held true for computers, it doesn’t apply to the hamsters powering the server. Even though subscription fees have doubled their food rations, there are still fundamental physical limits with how fast their stubby little legs can spin their wheels. Until they can upgrade to ferrets, or possibly meercats, then this board will always be laggy. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/15 "2006-04-21T16:48:22Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > While Moore’s Law has held true for computers, it doesn’t apply to the hamsters powering the server. Even though subscription fees have doubled their food rations, there are still fundamental physical limits with how fast their stubby little legs can spin their wheels. Until they can upgrade to ferrets, or possibly meercats, then this board will always be laggy. Or toddlers. If they’d use toddlers, there’d be an endless stream of energy. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/16 "2006-04-21T22:21:02Z")
It’s definitely the board. It’s obscene how shitty this thing runs. I don’t think it’s the bandwidth to the board. I think it’s something else in the software because I will go from cruising at top speed for 3 minutes, to not being able to connect to SDMB for 2 minutes and then have top speed for 15 minutes and then back again. I never have an “in between” where the board is just running “kinda slow”. This is truly the shoddiest site on the web as far as performance goes. At least the shoddiest one that you have to fucking PAY to use. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2006, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/17 "2006-04-22T02:15:37Z")
Wow, I rarely have a problem. Every once in a while a thread or two won’t load up right away, and I’ll tab to another thread I’ve opened. In my 4 months of being here, it’s only timed out maybe…twice? I know searches take a long time, but when I think about the enormity of what the hamsters are searching for, it’s pretty damn quick to me. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2006, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/18 "2006-04-22T05:56:43Z")
Just as I’m about to type that I do have problems, the site can hang for ages before allowing a post to go through … … it hangs. Darn it. Still, I’ll stick with it and see what happens. I still consider my sub to be more a “thank you” payment for great times had at this board so far than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2006, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/19 "2006-04-22T11:07:34Z")
> [@](#): > > When I JOINED THE BOARD we would have to write our posts out and send them in and they were posted five days later! And when we got home, our father would kill us, and dance around on our graves, singing halleuilah! And you tell that to young people today… ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2006, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551/20 "2006-04-22T14:08:27Z")
> [@Stinkpalm](#): > > It’s definitely the board. It’s obscene how shitty this thing runs. I don’t think it’s the bandwidth to the board. I think it’s something else in the software because I will go from cruising at top speed for 3 minutes, to not being able to connect to SDMB for 2 minutes and then have top speed for 15 minutes and then back again. I never have an “in between” where the board is just running “kinda slow”. > > This is truly the shoddiest site on the web as far as performance goes. At least the shoddiest one that you have to fucking PAY to use. I can’t disagree, on a corporate scale improving the hardware and bandwidth of this board would be a relatively moderate expense. The main issue is (and has always been) that we are continuously warned that the monetary cupboard is bare and, that we are allowed to have this board only by the grace of God, Cecil and the kindliness of the Chicago Reader toward scruffy urchins like ourselves. The vibe of this board has always been is to run everything on the cheap (even the subscriptions are cheap!) and in the end you get what you pay for. I’d be willing to pay for faster performance, but @ less than 10 bucks a year the herky jerky performance of this site under load isn’t too surprising. It’s the ago old question for any businessman. Do you expand and improve operations and potentially charge a higher price for these benefits, or is your target client base so small, impoverished and non-expandable that increasing prices will destroy the viability and sustainability of your business/service/charity. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-board-speed/353551.md?page=2)