# "Fucking carpet munchers, you should've been put down at birth" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 16, 2009, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760 "2009-11-16T10:05:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/21 "2009-11-16T17:03:58Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Or something stiffer?" _snerk_ ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/22 "2009-11-16T17:08:53Z")
I gotta call out the rest of the people at the pub for being spineless chumps. At least a parent could have said the “children are present” line. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/23 "2009-11-16T17:23:01Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > What a bloody idiot. > > I don’t think it would even occur to me that two women together are necessarily a couple. I mean, friends _do_ go to bars together, right? > [@Odesio](#): > > The other day my wife and I were at lunch when I spied two women I thought were a couple. It had nothing to do with their manner of dress and they weren’t showing any overt signs of public affection. It had more do to with their body language and the way they were looking at one another. While that’s hardly a scientific criteria in this case I was correct about one of them as she turned out to be one of my wife’s undergraduate assistants from years past. Arkansas really is a small state. So it’s possible that Mr. Bigot read some subtle social cues that led him to believe SanVito and her friend were more than just friends. Hmm, it’s almost as if folks here think that the biggest problem in this scenario is that this guy assumed these two women were lesbians, or somehow recognized them as such. I really don’t think that’s the issue. I think the issue is that the moron wished retroactive death on two women for the sin of being queer. These kinds of people terrified me until I was in my 30’s. I once had some teenager tell me that he was going to go home and get his father’s shotgun and hunt me down, again for the sin of being queer. This is not fun, my friends, and maybe when you have experienced it for yourselves you will understand the gut-wrenching reality of this kind of unearned hatred. **SanVito** , my sympathies. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/24 "2009-11-16T17:23:39Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > I gotta call out the rest of the people at the pub for being spineless chumps. At least a parent could have said the “children are present” line. Agreed. Had I been a customer I would have gotten up to leave, but not before I told the bartender that I didn’t appreciate jerks like that man, and would no longer be patronizing his establishment if he didn’t toss him out. Too bad some of the customers didn’t do that. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/25 "2009-11-16T17:42:01Z")
It’s not the landlord’s fault the fellow was a bigoted troglodyte (although again he could have done much more to shut the guy up), so people calling him out on Troggo McDykebasher’s behavior is the wrong approach. A simple, yet repeated and increasingly loud chorus of “Shut UP” (as necessary) would go a lot farther. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/26 "2009-11-16T17:47:09Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > The other day my wife and I were at lunch when I spied two women I thought were a couple. It had nothing to do with their manner of dress and they weren’t showing any overt signs of public affection. It had more do to with their body language and the way they were looking at one another. While that’s hardly a scientific criteria in this case I was correct about one of them as she turned out to be one of my wife’s undergraduate assistants from years past. Arkansas really is a small state. So it’s possible that Mr. Bigot read some subtle social cues that led him to believe SanVito and her friend were more than just friends. > > Odesio they call bartenders landlords in Arkansas? ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/27 "2009-11-16T17:49:16Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Hmm, it’s almost as if folks here think that the biggest problem in this scenario is that this guy assumed these two women were lesbians, or somehow recognized them as such. _Or_ I just couldn’t think of anything useful to add about his homophobia, beyond simple agreement that he was a bloody idiot. The OP had already covered the “wish excruciating pain on him” angle, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/28 "2009-11-16T18:30:21Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > they call bartenders landlords in Arkansas? A landlord isn’t a bartender. The landlord is the guy who owns the pub. They just usually happen to tend bar. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/29 "2009-11-16T19:06:40Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > A landlord isn’t a bartender. The landlord is the guy who owns the pub. They just usually happen to tend bar. Very few of the bars I’ve ever been in (and I’ve been in a lot) - how would you even know? But let me rephrase my question, they call bar-owners landlords in Arkansas? A landlord and a proprietor, though sometimes overlapping, are distinct roles where I’m from - the southern US. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/30 "2009-11-16T19:12:32Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > Very few of the bars I’ve ever been in (and I’ve been in a lot) - how would you even know? But let me rephrase my question, they call bar-owners landlords in Arkansas? Where are you getting Arkansas from? The OP is in the UK. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/31 "2009-11-16T19:16:27Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > Very few of the bars I’ve ever been in (and I’ve been in a lot) - how would you even know? But let me rephrase my question, they call bar-owners landlords in Arkansas? A landlord and a proprietor, though sometimes overlapping, are distinct roles where I’m from - the southern US. The guy talking about Arkansas is **Odesio** , who is a dude. The OP is **SanVito** , who is a chick, and is in the UK (or is from the UK, at any rate). ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/32 "2009-11-16T19:19:06Z")
I"m just baffled about why anyone would _care_ about two women standing at a bar together. Even if he does have extra-special Lezbo-recognizing senses. Why would he care? ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/33 "2009-11-16T19:21:53Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The guy talking about Arkansas is **Odesio** , who is a dude. The OP is **SanVito** , who is a chick, and is in the UK (or is from the UK, at any rate). :smack: ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/34 "2009-11-16T19:23:56Z")
I would’ve kicked him the fuck out. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/35 "2009-11-16T19:25:12Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I"m just baffled about why anyone would _care_ about two women standing at a bar together. Even if he does have extra-special Lezbo-recognizing senses. Why would he care? He doesn’t have to care. He’s bitter and probably drunk and bashing gays is easy. If she were alone, he might have called her a dirty whore. Not sure what ethnicity the OP or her girlfriend are, but he could have gone after that, too. Pathetic actions of pathetic men. But it is ridiculous that the owner didn’t throw him out immediately, when that might have been the reaction to, say, a racial slur. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/36 "2009-11-16T19:41:26Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I"m just baffled about why anyone would _care_ about two women standing at a bar together. Even if he does have extra-special Lezbo-recognizing senses. Why would he care? It is interesting, I think, that his extra-special Lezbo sense is acute enough that he can recognize a lesbian _at birth_. Clearly, this unique sensory perception needs immediate scientific study. If that study requires, say, the vivisection of the subject, well, that’s just one of the sacrifices we have to make in the advancement of science. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/37 "2009-11-16T20:17:26Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The OP is **SanVito** , who is a chick, and is in the UK (or is from the UK, at any rate). And, it should be noted, is a lesbian, because apparently that’s really fucking important no matter where she is or what she’s doing. ---
**Author:** ![Chopper9760](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Chopper9760](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chopper9760)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/38 "2009-11-16T20:52:35Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > So, it’s a nice sunny Sunday lunchtime, I’m standing at the bar with my girlfriend, just trying to pay for our drinks. That’s all folks. No hand holding, no snogging, just standing there. Pissed neanderthal starts throwing out remarks: > “Look, two dykes” > Ignore him… > “Fucking carpet-munchers” > Back stiffens > “you should’ve been put down at birth, you fucking dykes” > > All in a nice family-orientated pub surrounded by yummy families staring into their drinks. > > Well do you know what, dickwad, I wouldn’t put you down at birth beacuse I’m a nice person, but I’d happily nail your limp cock to the nearest garbage truck. > > Oh, and while I’m at it, Mr Landlord, when one of your customers complains about being abused by this agressive, frankly scary, piece of shit, how about you throw him out, eh? Telling him to ‘keep it down, there’s children in here’ really doesn’t cut it. That sucks shit through a tube. I hope you feel better soon. I live in the sticks in northern Idaho, folks here are friendly, supportive even. The only time I ever ran into trouble, two fellows objected to my short hair, slung a few epithets, and I get socked in the eye. This happened in a college town in broad daylight, surrounded by other pedestrians and students. You just never know where this shit will crop up. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/39 "2009-11-16T21:03:59Z")
Sorry to hear of your bad experience. I’m not one for repartee, so have no suggestions as to put-downs. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/40 "2009-11-16T21:10:55Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Sorry to hear of your bad experience. I’m not one for repartee, so have no suggestions as to put-downs. There’s always the tried and true “suck my dick”. If the original putter-downer was as drunk as is implied, prepare for some heads to asplode from confusion. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760.md?page=3)