# "Fucking carpet munchers, you should've been put down at birth" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 16, 2009, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760 "2009-11-16T10:05:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/61 "2009-11-17T01:39:40Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > What a bloody idiot. > > I don’t think it would even occur to me that two women together are necessarily a couple. I mean, friends _do_ go to bars together, right? True. OTOH, some lesbians **look** like lesbians; you don’t need highly attuned gaydar to tell. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/62 "2009-11-17T01:57:21Z")
> [@The\_Tooth](#): > > No, you’re thinking of carpet _monsters_, also known as rugrats or yardapes. I know, but the rats on the rug might be munching it also… I’m clearly not up with the latest in bigoted putdowns. Probably comes from living in the Bay Area. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/63 "2009-11-17T02:22:39Z")
I feel for you a lot. Here’s something I wrote about people yelling random shit at me: > [@](#): > > Inspired by a question I got while doing a demystification of homosexuality intervention in a school. > > Q. When you encounter homophobic incidents, does it hurt your feelings? > > Sometimes. Sometimes I can laugh about it. Like the time I was walking home late at night after going out clubbing. We were pretty obvious — me, dressed to kill in my club clothes, flamey to the max, him, wearing no shirt and leather pants. And, most importantly, holding hands. And this guy on the other side of the street yells, “Tapettes!” And I go, “What a smart man! However could you tell?” > > Sometimes it terrifies me. Like the time I was trapped in the metro station, and those kids between me and the stairs started chanting, “Kill the faggot, kill the faggot” to the tune of the “Ride of the Valkyries,” and I had no idea and no way of knowing whether they were serious or not, and I plunged my nose so deeply into my book – I am not looking, I am not looking – and dear gods that train took a year and a half to come, and I was sizing up the feasibility of jumping into the tunnel and running for the next station if they tried to jump me. That was the first and so far only time that I’ve called the police on a homophobic incident, because it was a death threat, and it’s not like I thought they were going to put out an A.P.B. on it but because I wanted it to be in their books and in their statistics so nobody could deny it was real, it happened. > > Sometimes it just makes me angry. Like the time I was with my friend Éric in the government office, and some big lout in the elevator took exception to my rainbow flag pin and started talking smack about queer people to his girlfriend or whoever, and then as we were right at the counter being served, and his number got called, as he went to his wicket he passed behind me and sotto voce went “Yo, faaaaag.” I will be damned if I was going to take that bullshit, so I bellowed across the office, “If you don’t like fags, honey, you’re in the wrooooong fucking city!” > > But sometimes it just hurts. Like the time the boy from Winnipeg I like and I spent a beautiful sunshiny day at the Biodome and the Botanical Gardens, picknicking at the Maisonneuve market, walking through the flower gardens and gorging ourselves on mulberries, and on the metro on the way home I was tired and I snuggled up to him and put my head on his shoulder, and this skinhead saw us, scowled, and got up and moved away. And part of me was laughing — “Ooh, you moved! I’m so intimidated! You really showed us! Oh please, don’t retreat at us again!” — but another part is the weary frustration that says, _For pity’s sake. It’s spring, it’s Montreal, we’re young, we’ve had a lovely, romantic day, we’re holding hands. Was that really necessary? Are you almost done? What is the point to all this?_ ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/64 "2009-11-17T02:45:01Z")
Just curious - has complete shaving taken over in Lesbiana? Is ‘linoleum sucker’ now a more accurate phrase? ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/65 "2009-11-17T02:51:31Z")
What an ASSHOLE! I’m sorry you and your dearheart had to go thru that. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/66 "2009-11-17T02:54:49Z")
> [@](#): > > “If you don’t like fags, honey, you’re in the wrooooong fucking city!” 😃 Awesome. Your last story made me sad. I cannot imagine having to be incessantly, constantly, and cruelly reminded that you do not fit into some people’s narrow definition of “normal.” Why on earth do people think this sort of behavior is even remotely okay? ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/67 "2009-11-17T03:43:17Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > It’s not the landlord’s fault the fellow was a bigoted troglodyte (although again he could have done much more to shut the guy up), so people calling him out on Troggo McDykebasher’s behavior is the wrong approach. A simple, yet repeated and increasingly loud chorus of “Shut UP” (as necessary) would go a lot farther. It’s not the landlord’s fault that the guy was a piece of shit. It **is** the landlord’s fault that the guy was permitted to remain in the establishment while being a piece of shit. Landlord could’ve kicked the guy out, should have, but instead used the mildest of placation to try to get him to shut up. It was a disproportionately weak response to the level of offense involved. > [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I"m just baffled about why anyone would _care_ about two women standing at a bar together. Even if he does have extra-special Lezbo-recognizing senses. Why would he care? Because that’s what troglodytes do, they have no lives, so they insert themselves into other people’s lives in socially unacceptable ways. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/68 "2009-11-17T05:11:00Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Just curious - has complete shaving taken over in Lesbiana? Is ‘linoleum sucker’ now a more accurate phrase? Parquet nibbler. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/69 "2009-11-17T05:16:00Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > True. OTOH, some lesbians **look** like lesbians; you don’t need highly attuned gaydar to tell. As one stand up comedienne said “In the mid-west nobody can tell I’m a lesbian. I just look like another farm wife.” ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/70 "2009-11-17T07:23:32Z")
Hmmm…I have a number of comments and observations… 1. How do I nail a dick to a garbage truck? Round here garbage trucks are metal, and I couldn’t get a nail in if I tried… 2. We would normally call a bar / pub owner a “publican” where I come from (but landlord not entirely disaccurate) 😉 3. I would like to think that I would have said something to the micro penis owner, but general situation would have made a difference. 4. Can remember a party we had at our flat once, invited next door lesbian couple as you should invite neighbours to any party, one homophobe friend made comment, had beer poured over his head for trouble and then we asked him to leave. My borther apologised on the spot, and when I found out the next day I also went next door and issued a “formal” apology 5. Not that it makes it right, but if it was a small local bar, and the guy was a “regular” tossing him out is not always so easy as it would be some random arsehole in a big city bar. There would be more baggage involved ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/71 "2009-11-17T08:05:12Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > 1. How do I nail a dick to a garbage truck? Round here garbage trucks are metal, and I couldn’t get a nail in if I tried Nailgun? ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/72 "2009-11-17T08:32:03Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > It **is** the landlord’s fault that the guy was permitted to remain in the establishment while being a piece of shit. Landlord could’ve kicked the guy out, should have, but instead used the mildest of placation to try to get him to shut up. It was a disproportionately weak response to the level of offense involved. No argument here on this. Been thinking about it, though, and now I think folks are right - as soon as it became clear the landlord was taking a pissweak lowball approach, the threat of the loss of future business _and_ the threat of word-of-mouth bad publicity would have been justified. (Hell, maybe even a sit-in.) I still think the unwilling audience in the rest of the bar could have taken some initiative as well, though. > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Parquet Butter. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/73 "2009-11-17T09:35:50Z")
> [@Chopper9760](#): > > I live in the sticks in northern Idaho, folks here are friendly, supportive even. The only time I ever ran into trouble, two fellows objected to my short hair, slung a few epithets, and I get socked in the eye. This happened in a college town in broad daylight, surrounded by other pedestrians and students. You just never know where this shit will crop up. If you happen to run into any of my relatives up there please allow me to apologize in advance. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/74 "2009-11-17T10:14:13Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Butter. No, you’re thinking of gay men there. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/75 "2009-11-17T15:13:00Z")
Am I the only one who thinks he shouldn’t have been thrown out for a first offence then? This is what people do in pubs. Second time, sure. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/76 "2009-11-17T15:22:16Z")
> [@Angry Lurker](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks he shouldn’t have been thrown out for a first offence then? This is what people do in pubs. > > Second time, sure. Yes, because homophobic sacks of crap need a chance to what… stop being homophobic sacks of crap as they get more drunk? Yeah, that’s likely. If he’s being this open in this sort of behavior in front of a pub full of people, he’s done it before, he’ll do it again, and a large part of that is the fact that no one calls these minuscule minds on their behavior until it passes some arbitrary bullshit threshold, at which point the damage is already more than done. Why should there be _any_ tolerance for someone making unprovoked, blatant, bigoted threats against a stranger? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/77 "2009-11-17T15:47:36Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > Yes, because homophobic sacks of crap need a chance to what… stop being homophobic sacks of crap as they get more drunk? Yeah, that’s likely. If he’s being this open in this sort of behavior in front of a pub full of people, he’s done it before, he’ll do it again, and a large part of that is the fact that no one calls these minuscule minds on their behavior until it passes some arbitrary bullshit threshold, at which point the damage is already more than done. Why should there be _any_ tolerance for someone making unprovoked, blatant, bigoted threats against a stranger? Cause it’s what drunks do. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/78 "2009-11-17T15:58:05Z")
And throwing out drunks who are offending other patrons is what landlords do. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/79 "2009-11-17T16:14:23Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > And throwing out drunks who are offending other patrons is what landlords do. After giving them a chance to mend their ways as a general rule, which is all I was suggesting. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/80 "2009-11-17T16:16:40Z")
Really, now - does a guy who says, “you should have been put down at birth” sound like the kind of guy who is going to apologise and offer to buy the OP’s next round when shown the error of his ways? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760.md?page=5)