# "Fucking carpet munchers, you should've been put down at birth" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 16, 2009, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760 "2009-11-16T10:05:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/101 "2009-11-18T01:22:06Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Tell 'em the rules, then enforce the rules. That way they remember they earned it when they get barred from the place forever after the third ejection. Do you really think that this turnip-for-brains doesn’t already know that homophobic insults and threats aren’t against the “rules” (of society, let alone the particular pub in which he’s currently oozing) or that he cares? ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/102 "2009-11-18T08:51:44Z")
Hello folks, sorry I haven’t been back since my initial rant, I’m just sorry most of you weren’t there to back us up. Thank you. Just to clarify a few things: 1. Landlord is indeed to title for a pub owner in the UK 2. The pub is a very liberal family-orientated kind of place with a very arty/liberal clientele. This guy stood out precisely for NOT being a regular. Even without the abuse, it would’ve been in the Landlord’s best interests to chuck this lowlife out. 3. As to whether we obviously looked like lesbians, meh, probably. We’re not butch or frumpy (no flannel shirts, no way), but we’ve got shortish hair and live in an area full of gay couples, so it would be a fair guess. I really couldn’t care less, I’m not interested in living in the closet. > [@Angry Lurker](#): > > What do I give a shit about you non-British folk’s views? Er, because this is a US forum? Besides, get your facts straight, British police can indeed arrest you for any of the following offences related to alcohol: \* public drunkenness \* creating a nuisance \* urinating in public \* threatening behaviour This guy fitted at least three of these categories. > [@Angry Lurker](#): > > Edit: And I know what women are like, and I have no reason to think lesbians are any different. I suspect the complaint to the barman was pretty vague. Please tell me, what are women like? The complaint to the Landlord was a loud: " Excuse me, this bloke is being threatening and abusive on the basis of my sexuality" which resulted in the landlord’s weak response. My partner followed up with “That’s not good enough, HE does not belong in this pub behaving like that” At which point we left, because this scary piece of shit looked more than able to start throwing punches. And I draw the line right there. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/103 "2009-11-18T09:00:15Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Is “nail his cock to a garbage truck” a reference to a movie or show? No, all my own invention > [@Equipoise](#): > > Was he an older guy? As more bigots like him die off, the world will be a better place. Bigots may still win the occasional battle, but most of them have no idea that their war is totally lost. They’ll soon find out. Sadly, he was only about 30. He looked like one of those angry white working-class boys who thinks he’s a minority in his own country. What you’d call a redneck, what we’d call a chav or white van man. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/104 "2009-11-18T09:06:45Z")
How, exactly, does one determine babies are gay/lesbian? May I suggest staple gunning the scrotum to his thigh instead? Gets the point across much faster. Plus it’s a larger target 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/105 "2009-11-18T09:22:27Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Er, because this is a US forum? Besides, get your facts straight, British police can indeed arrest you for any of the following offences related to alcohol: > \* public drunkenness > \* creating a nuisance > \* urinating in public > \* threatening behaviour > This guy fitted at least three of these categories. Would “being a sack of piss” count as “urinating in public”? Cos we’re up to 4 out of 4, then. I had to give a short verbal presentation in a language class, about the evolution of the family. I chose “adoption by non-traditional parents” as my subject (thanks again by the way, **matt** ). The group was too big for all the presentations to be done in a single day; mine was on the first and I got an elephant-sized hunch that the teacher didn’t like the subject, as she got all stiff. This was confirmed on the second day, when she had similar reactions as two other students talked about same-sex marriage. I don’t think she’s realized that all that rainbow and purple stuff a fourth student wears is not just a fashion statement, and I’m definitely not planning on informing her. We’re shocking the poor baby hard enough as is (she’s young, second-generation and evidently a lot less modern than she thought she was, we’re putting her through her paces bigtime). ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/106 "2009-11-18T09:44:36Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I don’t think she’s realized that all that rainbow and purple stuff a fourth student wears is not just a fashion statement, and I’m definitely not planning on informing her. We’re shocking the poor baby hard enough as is (she’s young, second-generation and evidently a lot less modern than she thought she was, we’re putting her through her paces bigtime). Well done Nava, I guess sometimes even the teachers need educating ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/107 "2009-11-18T11:59:51Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Please tell me, what are women like? The complaint to the Landlord was a loud: > " Excuse me, this bloke is being threatening and abusive on the basis of my sexuality" > which resulted in the landlord’s weak response. My partner followed up with > “That’s not good enough, HE does not belong in this pub behaving like that” > At which point we left, because this scary piece of shit looked more than able to start throwing punches. And I draw the line right there. Well, if you did that then I think that changes my viewpoint as he really should have done as you asked. Even so there isn’t anything wrong with being publicly drunk, unless one is drunk and incapable in Scotland. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/108 "2009-11-18T15:02:01Z")
Right. However, future-garbage-truck-attachment-man was not just publicly drunk, but publicly drunk and belligerent. That’s not just drunk in public, that’s disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/109 "2009-11-18T15:15:49Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Hello folks, sorry I haven’t been back since my initial rant, I’m just sorry most of you weren’t there to back us up. Thank you. Just to clarify a few things: > > 1. Landlord is indeed to title for a pub owner in the UK > 2. The pub is a very liberal family-orientated kind of place with a very arty/liberal clientele. This guy stood out precisely for NOT being a regular. Even without the abuse, it would’ve been in the Landlord’s best interests to chuck this lowlife out. > 3. As to whether we obviously looked like lesbians, meh, probably. We’re not butch or frumpy (no flannel shirts, no way), but we’ve got shortish hair and live in an area full of gay couples, so it would be a fair guess. I really couldn’t care less, I’m not interested in living in the closet. > > Er, because this is a US forum? Besides, get your facts straight, British police can indeed arrest you for any of the following offences related to alcohol: > \* public drunkenness > \* creating a nuisance > \* urinating in public > \* threatening behaviour > This guy fitted at least three of these categories. > > Please tell me, what are women like? The complaint to the Landlord was a loud: > " Excuse me, this bloke is being threatening and abusive on the basis of my sexuality" > which resulted in the landlord’s weak response. My partner followed up with > “That’s not good enough, HE does not belong in this pub behaving like that” > At which point we left, because this scary piece of shit looked more than able to start throwing punches. And I draw the line right there. What are the chances that the landlord was simply a coward? Have you seen him toss _other_ abusive and scary drunks out? ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/110 "2009-11-18T15:21:22Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > What are the chances that the landlord was simply a coward? Have you seen him toss _other_ abusive and scary drunks out? Big chance, the landlord comes across as quite a gentle soul, and is fairly new to the business, I think (the pub only reopened under new management last year). I suspect ‘how to deal with abusive drunks’ is one of those things he’s still working on. For the record, I haven’t seen any other abusive scary drunks in that particular pub, it doesn’t tend to attract that sort of person - as I said, it’s a family kind of place, at least on Sunday lunchtimes. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/111 "2009-11-18T15:30:56Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Big chance, the landlord comes across as quite a gentle soul, and is fairly new to the business, I think (the pub only reopened under new management last year). I suspect ‘how to deal with abusive drunks’ is one of those things he’s still working on. > > For the record, I haven’t seen any other abusive scary drunks in that particular pub, it doesn’t tend to attract that sort of person - as I said, it’s a family kind of place, at least on Sunday lunchtimes. Most likely then the landlord was simply not up for doing what was right. Our local pub is like what you describe - not a place that usually needs a bouncer (or indeed ever - I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen an openly abusive patron; someone with a few too many, sure, but no fights or anything like that). Dunno how the barkeep would react to a nasty drunk abusing people. I hope better than your guy. That’s a different situation from a landlord in a rougher sort of place well capable of chucking drunks who simply didn’t think abusing lesbians a big deal (or even worse, agreed with it). ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/112 "2009-11-18T17:50:07Z")
SV - I have nothing witty to add - just wanted to be one more voice saying I am so sorry you had to experience this. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/113 "2009-11-18T18:57:53Z")
I’m just baffled as how one identifies a “carpet muncher” at birth? Most of my lesbian friends didn’t figure that out until much later - not to mention the one that just married a man (and this is a woman with comfortable shoes, rainbow and [“See You In August”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan_Womyn%27s_Music_Festival) bumper stickers on her small car and the hair and dress style of a shorter [Rachel Maddow](http://swandiver.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/rachel-maddow.jpg)). And is one still a “carpet muncher” if your lover shaves? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/114 "2009-11-18T20:35:19Z")
I was just trying to figure out what we’d do if we were in a pub and someone started acting like that, and it occurred to me that I have never, in 20 years living in Calgary, seen this kind of public abuse of homosexuals. Take that, Rest of Canada calling Albertans rednecks! We (and everyone in the pub, I suspect) would be horrified - you just don’t _do_ that, to anyone, for any reason. I did see a guy throw a chair once, but it was over a Roughriders game - you know how that is. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/115 "2009-11-18T20:47:37Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > I’m just baffled as how one identifies a “carpet muncher” at birth? Most of my lesbian friends didn’t figure that out until much later - not to mention the one that just married a man (and this is a woman with comfortable shoes, rainbow and [“See You In August”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan_Womyn%27s_Music_Festival) bumper stickers on her small car and the hair and dress style of a shorter [Rachel Maddow](http://swandiver.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/rachel-maddow.jpg)). > > And is one still a “carpet muncher” if your lover shaves? I’ve been known to chew the carpet now and again and I’m not even a lesbian! ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/116 "2009-11-19T03:10:22Z")
For that matter, wouldn’t “_fucking_ carpet muncher” imply a certain versatility? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/117 "2009-11-19T03:16:11Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > For that matter, wouldn’t “_fucking_ carpet muncher” imply a certain versatility? Limberness, at the very least. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/118 "2009-11-19T04:26:36Z")
Hmmm…on the drunk in public thing…I don’t think its a crime in New Zealand - until its coupled with something else (vomiting, being disordely etc etc). I do know that pub patrons are positively encouraged to walk home after a night out drinking. On the handling of the arsehole - my father used to be a bar manager for a small family pub of the sort described in the OP. This place I think had one fight in like 15 years of operation. I don’t KNOW what his reaction to the drunk in the OP would have been - I can well imagine that if it was a regular or local (this was a small country town, most patrons were known in the community) I THINK he would have reminded the guy that the language not appropriate and asked him to keep it down. I can also well imagine other patrons saying something if the drunk was from out of town - that sort of thing is not well tolerated around families (not that I think people would have been confrontational though) I also know that dad did once ask a gang of Hell’s Angels to leave to pub carpark at 5:00 am…so I don’t think he’s exactly a coward, just not a confrontational sort of guy. ---
**Author:** ![coyote2009](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@coyote2009](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coyote2009)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/119 "2009-11-19T05:33:51Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > …This guy stood out precisely for NOT being a regular… > > … is a US forum? …police can indeed arrest you for any of the following offences related to alcohol: > \* public drunkenness > \* creating a nuisance > \* urinating in public > \* threatening behaviour “This guy” under discussion was such a jerk off his straight “friends” had probably just shunned him for good. So, _in his mind_, he “stepped down” a bit and was experiencing remorse. He felt like he had to take it out on someone. Over here, assholes like that tend to get a good, old-fashioned, country ass-kickin’ on a regular basis. It is what he expected. On this side of the pond the law varies by State. Where I live those 4 you listed are all serious crimes as: “Public intoxication” (intoxication is chemically measurable–drunkenness is not as easily measured) “Disturbing the peace” (in contrast, a public nuisance is a swimming pool with no fence around it) “Moral turpitude” (urinating in public, prostitution, etc.) and…saving the best for last: “Terroristic Threat” in Texas Statutory Law applicable: (a) A person commits an offense if he threatens to commit any offense involving violence to any person or property with intent to: …place any person in fear of imminent serious bodily injury; …prevent or interrupt the occupation or use of a building; room; place of assembly; place to which the public has access; place of employment or occupation; aircraft, automobile, or other form of conveyance; or other public place; …place the public or a substantial group of the public in fear of serious bodily injury… Disclaimer, this is not legal advice. ---
**Author:** ![coyote2009](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@coyote2009](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coyote2009)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/120 "2009-11-19T05:38:58Z")
Meant to add, sorry you went through that. Idiots like that guy are best avoided, like a pile of dog shit on the sidewalk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760.md?page=7)