# "Fucking carpet munchers, you should've been put down at birth" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 16, 2009, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760 "2009-11-16T10:05:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/121 "2009-11-19T14:34:56Z")
I cast my vote for the garbage truck thing, definitely. And I’m so sorry that you went through this, it sucks. What the barman should have done was march down the bar and shout at him, “If God had wanted her otherwise, he’d have made her otherwise, Mate! Oh, and by the way, ‘Normal’ is just a setting on a washing machine!” And then marched angrily away. (At this point, all the people who heard the initial offensive outburst, sitting silent and stunned, not knowing what to do, should be clapping, hooting, nodding or 'Here, here’ing, I’m thinking.) Then he should have refused to serve the guy again that evening, even if he’s a regular. If it happens again prepare to shout right back at him, what a douchebag! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/122 "2009-11-19T16:58:25Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > There’s always the tried and true “suck my dick”. If the original putter-downer was as drunk as is implied, prepare for some heads to asplode from confusion. I used that once in a friendly argument with a roommate: Roommate: _says something insulting_ Me: Suck my dick! RM: You don’t have one! Me: Yes, I do. RM: 😕 Me: Just because it’s plastic and vibrates doesn’t mean you can’t suck it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/123 "2009-11-19T19:01:13Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > I know, but the rats on the rug might be munching it also… I’m clearly not up with the latest in bigoted putdowns. Probably comes from living in the Bay Area. 1. I can’t figure out what you’re actually following along with here, nor what you think “carpet muncher” means. 2. It can’t be “the latest” in bigoted putdowns. Otherwise, it’d be the ironic “hardwood licker”. > [@Angry Lurker](#): > > Edit: And I know what women are like, and I have no reason to think lesbians are any different. I suspect the complaint to the barman was pretty vague. _Thank you!_ From the bartender’s perspective, “jerk said something mean” isn’t the same as “some ladies said jerk said something mean”. Did he even hear the comment? > [@SanVito](#): > > ``` > * public drunkenness > * creating a nuisance > * urinating in public > * threatening behaviour > > ``` > > This guy fitted at least three of these categories. “At least”? Was he pissing on the floor or not? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/124 "2009-11-19T22:43:51Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Limberness, at the very least. Really. If any of us could do that, we’d never leave our room, would we? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/125 "2009-11-20T05:53:21Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I did see a guy throw a chair once, but it was over a Roughriders game - you know how that is. It is tough when the Stamps lose, isn’t it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/126 "2009-11-20T08:30:39Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > _Thank you!_ From the bartender’s perspective, “jerk said something mean” isn’t the same as “some ladies said jerk said something mean”. Did he even hear the comment? Did you ‘even’ read my comments? And if you don’t mind, ‘jerk said something mean’ sounds like the complaint of a 6 year old. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/127 "2009-11-20T08:33:13Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > “At least”? Was he pissing on the floor or not? 😃 Not at that point, but I can’t imagine pissing in the alley was too far off the agenda ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/128 "2009-11-20T21:23:07Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Did you ‘even’ read my comments? And if you don’t mind, ‘jerk said something mean’ sounds like the complaint of a 6 year old. I was paraphrasing, not downplaying. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/129 "2009-11-22T04:16:57Z")
I’m not even going to try and defend the drunken misogynist because it’s not possible, but I will say that, having worked in bars, it’s difficult to know how someone is going to react to being told to pull their head in, and the sort of people that make loud, angry homophobic comments in bars are the sort of people who are liable to get punchy when the bartender says “knock it off” and continues to force the issue when they fail to do so. Now, if there are professional security people on duty, that’s an entirely different kettle of fish. But I don’t think any suburban bartender wants to risk being glassed or being laid out by an angry drunk over the issue, and so I really can’t say I blame him for not taking a more forceful approach to the issue. That doesn’t make it _right_, just understandable. And in every pub I’ve ever worked in, the attitude towards “I’ll take my business elsewhere!” has been “Fine by us. Would you like us to call you a taxi?” ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/130 "2009-11-23T06:56:57Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > And in every pub I’ve ever worked in, the attitude towards “I’ll take my business elsewhere!” has been “Fine by us. Would you like us to call you a taxi?” I will plus one on the rest of your post - but this in particular I wanted to quote, having angry, disruptive people around is never good for business - no matter how much they spend. The bad press and reaction from other customers is always a greater loss than any money the drunk (or gambling addict for that matter) spends ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/131 "2009-11-23T07:28:49Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > I will plus one on the rest of your post - but this in particular I wanted to quote, having angry, disruptive people around is never good for business - no matter how much they spend. The bad press and reaction from other customers is always a greater loss than any money the drunk (or gambling addict for that matter) spends Sorry, I should have been a bit clearer earlier. You’re right that having angry, disruptive people around isn’t good for business. But _in general_ people trying the “Give me what I want or you’ll lose my business!” at pubs when I worked there was (at least IME) met with a polite version of “Try not to get assprints on our door on your way out.” To be fair, I was working in fairly touristy areas with almost no “regulars”. A ‘local’ (suburban pub) might feel a bit differently about it, but generally my experience was that tourist pubs didn’t care if you thought the queues were too long or the prices too expensive, because you’d never likely be returning anyway even if you loved the place. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/132 "2009-11-24T02:32:21Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Sorry, I should have been a bit clearer earlier. You’re right that having angry, disruptive people around isn’t good for business. But _in general_ people trying the “Give me what I want or you’ll lose my business!” at pubs when I worked there was (at least IME) met with a polite version of “Try not to get assprints on our door on your way out.” > . All the places where I drank or worked were the same - and they did have a lot of locals - people that created an unpleasant atmosphere generally weren’t tolerated very well ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/133 "2009-11-24T02:54:45Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > All the places where I drank or worked were the same - and they did have a lot of locals - people that created an unpleasant atmosphere generally weren’t tolerated very well Oh, absolutely. But if you take a situation like that in the OP, where you’ve got a belligerent drunk making homophobic comments in a local pub with no other security, and two lesbians (or gays) saying “How dare you! I’m never coming back here again!”, then my response to the offended minorities would be “sorry, folks, but I don’t want any trouble. Your drinks are on the house, have a nice day”. Once they’d gone, I’d be easing the angry drunk out the door with the “Mate, might be time to call it a day, yeah?” routine and a _polite_ reminder that people’s kids are around that sort of thing wasn’t welcome. But if you try and throw the drunk out while the “offending” minorities are still there, you create a situation where he feels that “They” are winning and that “he” is being hard done by- and that’s when people get arc up and you have a blue (fight). Now, let me re-iterate that if you’re in a bar with security staff, you can just call them over and have them deal with it- they’re trained to hustle belligerent drunks out with a minimum of fuss and hassle. But in a local pub with no security on duty? No-one goes away happy in those situations, unfortunately. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/134 "2009-11-24T03:12:53Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > As one stand up comedienne said “In the mid-west nobody can tell I’m a lesbian. I just look like another farm wife.” Something to that. Growing up in Iowa, I developed a yen for tomboys, only to discover when I moved east that they were, shall we say, something of a specialty item in other places. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/135 "2009-11-24T04:41:13Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Oh, absolutely. But if you take a situation like that in the OP, where you’ve got a belligerent drunk making homophobic comments in a local pub with no other security, and two lesbians (or gays) saying “How dare you! I’m never coming back here again!”, then my response to the offended minorities would be “sorry, folks, but I don’t want any trouble. Your drinks are on the house, have a nice day”. Once they’d gone, I’d be easing the angry drunk out the door with the “Mate, might be time to call it a day, yeah?” routine and a _polite_ reminder that people’s kids are around that sort of thing wasn’t welcome. > > But if you try and throw the drunk out while the “offending” minorities are still there, you create a situation where he feels that “They” are winning and that “he” is being hard done by- and that’s when people get arc up and you have a blue (fight). > > Now, let me re-iterate that if you’re in a bar with security staff, you can just call them over and have them deal with it- they’re trained to hustle belligerent drunks out with a minimum of fuss and hassle. But in a local pub with no security on duty? No-one goes away happy in those situations, unfortunately. My god - you sure you and I didn’t grow up in the same town? Besides the fact that you spent most of your time on the wrong side of the ditch I swear we coulda been brothers. That a scary thought or what? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/136 "2009-11-24T04:57:23Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > My god - you sure you and I didn’t grow up in the same town? Besides the fact that you spent most of your time on the wrong side of the ditch I swear we coulda been brothers. That a scary thought or what? Hey, isn’t that Rod Serling stepping out from behind a lamp-post over there? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/137 "2009-11-24T16:41:53Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > So, it’s a nice sunny Sunday lunchtime, I’m standing at the bar with my girlfriend, just trying to pay for our drinks. That’s all folks. No hand holding, no snogging, just standing there. Pissed neanderthal starts throwing out remarks: > “Look, two dykes” > Ignore him… > “Fucking carpet-munchers” > Back stiffens > “you should’ve been put down at birth, you fucking dykes” > > All in a nice family-orientated pub surrounded by yummy families staring into their drinks. > > Well do you know what, dickwad, I wouldn’t put you down at birth beacuse I’m a nice person, but I’d happily nail your limp cock to the nearest garbage truck. > > Oh, and while I’m at it, Mr Landlord, when one of your customers complains about being abused by this agressive, frankly scary, piece of shit, how about you throw him out, eh? Telling him to ‘keep it down, there’s children in here’ really doesn’t cut it. Wait a sec…you’re a dyke…and you were in a BAR?!? The nerve! ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760/138 "2009-11-24T21:12:05Z")
The landlord is entitled to exclude anyone acting in a ‘contumacious’ manner, which gives him a very broad discretion to exclude anyone who is causing disharmony. My brother was barred for making (according to his own account) a slightly sarcastic comeback to the landlord’s opening remarks. Refusal to leave when told to can bring the police round. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-carpet-munchers-you-shouldve-been-put-down-at-birth/517760.md?page=6)