# Fucking cops... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 23, 2008, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087 "2008-11-23T08:05:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Fantome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Fantome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fantome)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/181 "2008-11-24T22:26:21Z")
> [@Hostile\_Dialect](#): > > That’s a cool story. I would’ve just fired a warning shot, m’self. Taught the kid a lesson. But that’s why it’s a good reason I don’t carry 😉 Cool story, eh? He was jumping between cars and walking between apartment buildings with a pistol drawn because he saw a laser light on the pavement. You want this guy living in your apartment complex? He’s an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/182 "2008-11-24T22:37:10Z")
> [@Hostile\_Dialect](#): > > How is that more likely? I haven’t seen or heard of someone shining a laser pointer at other people for kicks since I was in seventh grade. When was the last time someone shined a laser pointer at you at the local? A lot more recent than someone with a laser sight on a gun which would be never. The US may be very different than the places I’m familiar with but I doubt it. If it is your opinion that it is as likely or more so that the instances of people seeing red dots on them or around them is a actual laser sight on a gun rather than some arsehole or kid messing around with a laser pointer then you are welcome to it. I think you are blowing smoke out your arse just to stay fighting your corner but that is also just an opinion. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/183 "2008-11-24T22:45:07Z")
Never mind ---
**Author:** ![Fantome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Fantome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fantome)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/184 "2008-11-24T22:47:42Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Cool story, eh? He was jumping between cars and walking between apartment buildings with a pistol drawn because he saw a laser light on the pavement. You want this guy living in your apartment complex? He’s an idiot. One more thing. If he thought he might be in danger and wanted to play it safe, he didn’t. Lasers aren’t like flashlights; there’s no beam to follow through the air, so finding it’s origin is almost impossible (which makes me question how he “followed the direction up to another apartment’s balcony”). By drawing a weapon and walking in the open he was an easy target. If he really wanted to play it safe he would have hit the ground and rolled under a parked car and screamed for someone to call 911. But I think we know he was really just looking for an excuse to roam the parking lots like a Bad Ass. ---
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/185 "2008-11-24T22:53:32Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > You don’t think it’s more reasonable to stick with the cite I provided from a lawyer in the OP’s state and not an old edition of the World Book Encyclopedia? Frankly, they are both useless. Relevant PA Statute: > [@](#): > > § 2701. Simple Assault > > (a) OFFENSE DEFINED.-- A person is guilty of assault if he: > > (1) attempts to cause or intentionally, knowingly or recklessly causes bodily injury to another; > > (2) negligently causes bodily injury to another with a deadly weapon; > > (3) attempts by physical menace to put another in fear of imminent serious bodily injury; or > > (4) conceals or attempts to conceal a hypodermic needle on his person and intentionally or knowingly penetrates a law enforcement officer or an officer or an employee of a correctional institution, county jail or prison, detention facility or mental hospital during the course of an arrest or any search of the person. I didn’t do much research under 2701(a)(3), but a simple google search gives us: “Under Pennsylvania law, “physical menace” requires some physical act by the perpetrator intended to cause “fear of imminent serious bodily injury” in the victim. See, e.g., Commonwealth v. Reynolds, 835 A.2d 720, 726 (Pa. Super. Ct. 2003) (pointing gun constituted “menacing or frightening activity” that placed victims “in fear of imminent serious bodily injury” under § 2701(a)(3))” Obviously there are some differences in the present circumstances, but an argument could be made. Also potentially relevant is: > [@](#): > > § 2705. Recklessly endangering another person > > A person commits a misdemeanor of the second degree if he recklessly engages in conduct which places or may place another person in danger of death or serious bodily injury. Last, from the lawyer’s website which you found: “[assault] can be very broadly interpreted to include brandishing an object as a weapon, or coming close to hitting someone with a car.” ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/186 "2008-11-24T23:26:05Z")
If someone was waving a laser dot around at the bar I would hit the ground too, and start belly-crawling my way out of there. It might be some fucking salesman, and the next thing he is going to do is fire up powerpoint and start telling me the features of his new product. 😉 \*\*Airman \*\*- glad that you reported, glad that you didn’t kill the guy, and glad to see that your reflexes are still good! May you never need to use them. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/187 "2008-11-24T23:39:44Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Besides you can’t tell me that “hitting the deck” in a bar in Pennsylvania in response to a dot on your chest is “survival instinct”. Yes, we evolved that instinct over hundreds of thousands of years. Sabre-toothed tigers were equipped with laser sights, you see. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/188 "2008-11-24T23:56:00Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Cool story, eh? He was jumping between cars and walking between apartment buildings with a pistol drawn because he saw a laser light on the pavement. You want this guy living in your apartment complex? He’s an idiot. No, asshole. I drew the pistol behind cover, put it away and went to the house. Hardly idiotic. ---
**Author:** ![fatnugly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@fatnugly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatnugly)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/189 "2008-11-24T23:58:12Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > It’s not that it’s not technically a weapon, but conitinually referring to as a “weapon” rather than a taser in this context is being done to contrive an exaggerated sense of danger and drama. A nightstick is technically a “weapon” too, but it’s still ridiculous to hit the deck and roll around on the floor sobbing if somebody points a nightstick at you. A cursory search on Goggle list a number of deaths caused by tasers. Technically or not it is a deadly weapon. More people are wounded by fire arms than killed so I guess by your way of thinking they shouldn’t be called weapons either. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/190 "2008-11-25T00:06:28Z")
People have been killed with silverware too. That doesn’t mean it’s not idiotic to scramble on to the floor if somebody points a salad fork at you from across a bar. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/191 "2008-11-25T00:09:21Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > People have been killed with silverware too. That doesn’t mean it’s not idiotic to scramble on to the floor if somebody points a salad fork at you from across a bar. So this taser only works if the object is within reach? ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/192 "2008-11-25T00:11:11Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Basic rule of thumb: if a citizen had done it to an off-duty cop, would the citizen have gotten dragged downtown? Depends on where the morgue is. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/193 "2008-11-25T00:14:53Z")
> [@](#): > > **Contrapuntal** said: > So this taser only works if the object is within reach? What, you were actually hoping for **Diogenes** to limit his arguments to reality? I don’t even think he’s heard of such a thing. > [@](#): > > **I Love Me, Vol. I** said: > Depends on where the morgue is. Don’t forget the dozen or so bystanders who also would have been wounded or killed as both cops emptied all of their magazines in the direction of the person with the laser pointer, due to their rapid firing and lack of marksmanship skills. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/194 "2008-11-25T00:20:57Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Don’t forget the dozen or so bystanders who also would have been wounded or killed as both cops emptied all of their magazines in the direction of the person with the laser pointer, due to their rapid firing and lack of marksmanship skills. OK. I was exaggerating a bit. I was just pointing out (via hyperbole) that cops generally seem to fare better than civilians when it comes to shooting contests. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/195 "2008-11-25T00:23:19Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > So this taser only works if the object is within reach? How would it work if it couldn’t reach you? It’s not going to kill you, that’s for sure. Even discussing that aspect of a taser is kind of moot since AD shrieked like a girl and flopped on the floor before he even knew it was a taser. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/196 "2008-11-25T00:27:57Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Don’t forget the dozen or so bystanders who also would have been wounded or killed as both cops emptied all of their magazines in the direction of the person with the laser pointer, due to their rapid firing and lack of marksmanship skills. Think of all the bystanders who could be killed by some half-soused, hysterical civilian lying on his back, blasting wildly away in a crowded bar because somebody shined a light on him. I’ll go with the training, maturity and experience of a cop any day over some amateur that thinks he’s in a movie. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/197 "2008-11-25T00:29:48Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > How would it work if it couldn’t reach you? Exactly. It can reach you from across the room. So the comparison to a salad fork is silly. > [@](#): > > It’s not going to kill you, that’s for sure. If you are being attacked by a taser, and a gun is your only defense, then too bad for the other guy, I guess. > [@](#): > > Even discussing that aspect of a taser is kind of moot since AD shrieked like a girl and flopped on the floor before he even knew it was a taser. All we have to go on is his account. He said nothing about shrieking or flopping, so it is clear to me that you are coloring your version of the event, if not outright falsifying it. Why do you suppose that is? ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/198 "2008-11-25T00:31:01Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > It’s not going to kill you, that’s for sure. Even discussing that aspect of a taser is kind of moot since AD shrieked like a girl and flopped on the floor before he even knew it was a taser. The lack of self-awareness required to describe the word “weapon” as needlessly dramatic, and yet simultaneously describe ducking defensively as “shriek[ing] like a girl and flopp[ing] on the floor” is positively staggering. Almost awe-inspiring, in fact. Oh, and now I see the scenario has advanced so **AD** is in spasm on the floor, emptying his gun at random. Goodness me, it’s a good job you came along to explain what really happened. Incidentally, in polite circles does the taser go to the left or the right of the soup spoon? I’m hosting a dinner party, you see, and you appear to be an expert on these matters. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/199 "2008-11-25T00:35:02Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Exactly. It can reach you from across the room. So the comparison to a salad fork is silly. You asked if it can work if it CAN’T reach you. > [@](#): > > If you are being attacked by a taser, and a gun is your only defense, then too bad for the other guy, I guess. Well, too bad for both of them really, because the guy with the gun is going to prison. > [@](#): > > All we have to go on is his account. He said nothing about shrieking or flopping, so it is clear to me that you are coloring your version of the event, if not outright falsifying it. Why do you suppose that is? Well, HE said he dove on the floor. Is that different from flopping? I just assumed he shrieked like a girl. I could be wrong about that part. It’s just how I pictured it. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087/200 "2008-11-25T00:35:57Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Depends on where the morgue is. Ok. THAT was funny. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-cops/474087.md?page=11)