# Fucking Deadbeats Not Paying Child Support **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 1, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239 "2013-05-01T19:32:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/61 "2013-05-05T02:32:48Z")
> [@StaudtCJ](#): > > I have seen both sides of this. > > I’ve met a few amazing guys who payed every dime, spent every moment, kissed and hugged and bandaged booboos, coached teams, etc. Their ex-wives sometimes raved and sometimes complained, but the guys were there for their kids and around to hear about it. (I’ve not known any women who were non-custodial parents, so I’m not referring to them. I’d bet that women were less likely to pay support if ordered to, but that’s just my WAG.) > > I also have the example of my ex. He pays his support, it’s true, when child services finds out where he is working. However, he has a legal right and obligation to see his child twice a week and every other weekend. Know how many times he saw his daughter from age 8 months until age 3? 8. Eight times. With me calling, inviting him to get her, and inviting him and his girlfriend to dinner, and asking about christmas, father’s day, etc. I made sure he got gifts from his daughter, even when he didn’t reciprocate. I tell his daughter, and his friends, and his parents, that daddy loves her, and he’s a good guy who’s just a little busy. He’s told his whole family that I’m the one who won’t let him see his little girl. When he finally came over, he spent five minutes and left, saying he’d “done his duty”. I finally moved out of the area for unavoidable reasons, with his knowledge and WRITTEN CONSENT, and he threatened to have the police bring her back. (Written consent, notarized, trumps a phone call any day. Keep diligent records, and get everything in writing.) Since I left, he’s changed his number, won’t respond to email, and missed Christmas and her birthday without a gift or call or anything. He sure cashed the check mailed to him for Christmas, though. In case you’re wondering, no I don’t want him back, I’m not trying to do that. I have my own, separate life, with my own companionship. > > I know that 85% of non-custodial parents (male and female) support their kids, financially, emotionally, and every other which way. However, there’s that 15% that don’t. Some of those are probably deceased, but the rest of them just maybe need to be given a wake-up call of varying severity. The wake-up call will probably be when your daughter is a teenager and he tries to make the Big Hero Dad Comeback, and she will want nothing to do with him. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/62 "2013-05-05T03:12:34Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The wake-up call will probably be when your daughter is a teenager and he tries to make the Big Hero Dad Comeback, and she will want nothing to do with him. My dad is doing that now and I am 30. I think it is because he is getting older and his third grandchild is on the way. He hasn’t seen the twins since they were 2, so its been 3 yrs since he has visited. I am cautiously accepting his attempts to reach out but aware he could revert back to his old ways at anytime. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/63 "2013-05-05T11:02:53Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Whoa, are you serious? What if the kids want to see him? Or actively prefer to spend more time or live with him. I have friends whose children prefer to be with Dad or whose parents got separated/divorced and who preferred to be with Dad. The reasons have ranged from the too-often-assumed “Dad lets us get away with everything” (which tends to solve itself) to “Dad lives in a town with several good universities, so by moving in with him mid-HS we get a couple of years to figure out if it will work out ok for me to stay with him through college”. I also know one where the wife was offered a promotion which would involve traveling; she called the ex to ask if he’d be willing to “flip the calendar”, before accepting (they’re separated, which here is often taken to mean “we can’t live together but we still actually kind’a like each other”). One of the hardest things about shared-custody arrangements has to be those periods when the child decides (s)he’d like to move in with the other parent for a while. Even when it’s a reasoned, reasonable request and not an “I hate you!!!” simultaneous with a banged door. And yet, IME if all parties can be reasonable about it it really ends up turning out to be for the better, even if the move turns out to be short-time once the child realizes the first parent’s house worked out best. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/64 "2013-05-05T13:46:39Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > I think the father in most cases should move on for the good of the child. If the mother remarries, it should be simpler for the stepfather to adopt. Just my opinion. You and your stupid, selfish opinion can go to hell. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/65 "2013-05-05T14:19:46Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Or actively prefer to spend more time or live with him. I have friends whose children prefer to be with Dad or whose parents got separated/divorced and who preferred to be with Dad. The reasons have ranged from the too-often-assumed “Dad lets us get away with everything” (which tends to solve itself) to “Dad lives in a town with several good universities, so by moving in with him mid-HS we get a couple of years to figure out if it will work out ok for me to stay with him through college”. I also know one where the wife was offered a promotion which would involve traveling; she called the ex to ask if he’d be willing to “flip the calendar”, before accepting (they’re separated, which here is often taken to mean “we can’t live together but we still actually kind’a like each other”). > > One of the hardest things about shared-custody arrangements has to be those periods when the child decides (s)he’d like to move in with the other parent for a while. Even when it’s a reasoned, reasonable request and not an “I hate you!!!” simultaneous with a banged door. And yet, IME if all parties can be reasonable about it it really ends up turning out to be for the better, even if the move turns out to be short-time once the child realizes the first parent’s house worked out best. From what I’ve seen, when kids moved in with their dad, it was usually related to whatever the mother did to cause the divorce in the first place - most commonly mental health issues or alcoholism. Or, they don’t like their stepfather, and often for some very good reasons. In most states, they can make this decision around age 13 or 14; visitation is no longer enforceable at about age 12, although a woman on another board said her state enforces it until 16, much to the chagrin of her daughter, who says she does not want to see her father (although I’ll be the first to admit that we’re only getting her side of the story). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/66 "2013-05-05T23:45:21Z")
Is every situation black and white ? I have no experience in this area, but as I understand it if a man gives his wife children and she kicks him oot of the home, tears his children away from him, the courts will, if she requests it, order him to pay a substantial amount of his income per child way in excess of what he used to shell out responsibly for the kids. She can marry a wealthy man, have a good life with her own children and still have the right to demand court ordered payments based on the number of children and his meager income alone. Its a simple formula, but it isn’t always fair, and for those men in that situation I’ll withhold judgement. Or tell me that never happens. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/67 "2013-05-06T02:36:06Z")
> [@storyteller0910](#): > > This is a comically stupid opinion. > > My daughter is my _daughter._ For nine years, I have been 50% of her support structure. I am one of only two people in the entire world that she knows will never desert her. I have taught her baseball and basketball and how to make chicken parmesan. I have been one of the two faces she saw when she woke from surgery, the person who checks her math homework every night. She has read books to me. > > If her mother and I should ever part ways - and I don’t believe that will happen, but one never knows - can you possibly believe that one of her parents just “moving on,” just letting go of all of that shared history and emotion and making it absolutely clear that she can count on no one and nothing - because they might vanish because they think it’s “simpler”… can you possibly believe that would be “for the good of the child?” > > Fuck no. It might be “for the good of the stepfather” who wants a tax break. But not for the child. Testify. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/68 "2013-05-06T03:52:29Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > Is every situation black and white ? I have no experience in this area, but as I understand it if a man gives his wife children and she kicks him oot of the home, tears his children away from him, the courts will, if she requests it, order him to pay a substantial amount of his income per child way in excess of what he used to shell out responsibly for the kids. She can marry a wealthy man, have a good life with her own children and still have the right to demand court ordered payments based on the number of children and his meager income alone. Well, you know how those wealthy men just love jobless, maniacally insane women with kids from their first marriage! ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/69 "2013-05-06T06:13:44Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > In the early 1990s, the Des Moines newspaper tried printing the names of support nonpayers, and that caused more problems than it caused. Here are two examples. > > 1. A woman wrote a letter to the paper saying that there was a man on the list who lived in the same town as her ex and had the same name that he did, and she was afraid that people would see that and think it was a man who had never missed a payment in more than 10 years. They had never met the deadbeat, but certainly knew about him because creditors would also contact her ex, thinking it was him, or a relative, KWIM? > > 2. Another woman called up the newspaper in tears because her ex-husband’s name was on the list. Yes, it was true that he hadn’t paid support in 4 years, but he had a legitimate excuse - that’s when he died. No, the marriage hadn’t worked out, but he was the father of her children and they loved him a lot and missed him. > > Most people, myself included at the time, were surprised at how many of them were women, about 10%. Here in [Washington](https://fortress.wa.gov/dshs/csips/mostwanted/), they do list online some of the parents who are “most wanted” for lack of child support. According to what I’ve read, they first give the parent the opportunity to make payment arrangements. Anyway, without having done any math, I’d say that maybe 15% of them are women. My sister, who used to work in payroll, said that an unexpectedly high number (still well under half) of parents who called to complain/inquire about child support garnishments were women. Whatever the numbers, they can’t necessarily be compared all that equally, because there are many other factors in play. But it’s obviously not too rare for women to be paying (or supposed to be paying) child support. ---
**Author:** ![aag3981](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@aag3981](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aag3981)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/70 "2013-05-06T07:51:45Z")
It seems like almost every issue of non-payment where one parent refuses to pay the CS (meaning they are employed and capable but either don’t or wait until it is forced on them), it’s always a personal issue between the parents. The non-custodial parent doesn’t want to give the custodial parent the money because they hate not having the power and still have issues with their ex. I receive minimal CS from my ex. Sure he could pay more, but that would involve me spending money to take him to court, not to forget the frustration a cooperative relationship would be after that when he was forced to pay something. The thought of getting the courts involved and dealing with all these other people gives me a headache. I guess if it were a substantial amount of money it would matter more, or if I were not able to support myself and my children, but I am a much more reliable provider or at least I feel like I am. I would rather have a productive relationship with their father and have the opportunity to make my own money. Fortunately I have that since he does spend a lot of time with the kids. I feel for the people in a position where they have to fight this battle, but honestly, if he didn’t pay my anything, I would have to be in a pickle myself before I would go through the court process to get it. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/71 "2013-05-06T13:10:47Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > That’s actually a really good explanation and I think it reflects well on my situation. Once he demanded that I send him an itemized list of everything I spent ‘his’ money on, so that he could make sure I wasn’t using it for myself. I told him to go to hell more or less. As I did when he told me any support would end the moment I started dating someone else or he got married. I know I have no legal standing to get the support out of him, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him dictate everything. Why don’t you have legal standing? The money is owed for child support period, end of discussion. If the child has a roof over their head and food on the table and the ex is being reasonbly responsible in caring for the child , the ex has nothing to say and no demands to make like the ones you describe. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/72 "2013-05-06T13:44:23Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I will tell you how Anthony. As a child of divorce I had a unique perspective on the whole parental support issue. My parents never really fought over child support in front of us. They worked out a deal where it was not court ordered but my dad did agree to help my mom out on certain expenses and we were to go see him every summer for about two to three months. The only problem with that is it doesn’t become an issue about supporting the children becomes an issue of supporting the ex spouse . The parent sees the child support as money that is not going to their kids but to the support of their ex who they hate. Honestly they don’t even think about their kids when they’re sending money to the ex spouse. It becomes of Battle of power and money and control. When I was with my dad in the summer he had no problem spending money on me and my brother, but when we were living with my mom during the school year we were well aware of the money problems my mom had because she was a social worker and wasn’t making as much as she was when it was a 2 income household. The kids get stuck in the middle of this and even if you are blessed with two parents who try not to make you aware of what’s going on kids are not stupid and we figured out pretty quickly that there were issues with money and support between my parents. I know lots of guys feel so frustrated about not having the kind of relationship with their kids they want to have. It’s especially hard when there is a geographic problem. And, as you point out, they can’t get the notion that their ex is somehow benifiting from the money they send, out of their head, but they are dead wrong in holding onto that. You pay because that child is yours and as long as they have a roof over their head and food on the table and are being cared for , they owe it as a moral obligation. My youngest daughter’s Mom married a guy who did well financially and my daughter never wanted for anything, but he was paying child support for kids from a previous marriage. I continued to pay child support until she was almost out of college. When I made more , I gave more. I understand the feelings non custodial parents have but it’s not about them. They are the adults, {hopefully} and need to make the effort to let thier kids know they care and are there for them, and part of that is to do thier best to pay the child support and keep the peace with the other parent. I know that can be hard at times. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/73 "2013-05-06T13:51:17Z")
> [@aag3981](#): > > It seems like almost every issue of non-payment where one parent refuses to pay the CS (meaning they are employed and capable but either don’t or wait until it is forced on them), it’s always a personal issue between the parents. The non-custodial parent doesn’t want to give the custodial parent the money because they hate not having the power and still have issues with their ex. > > I receive minimal CS from my ex. Sure he could pay more, but that would involve me spending money to take him to court, not to forget the frustration a cooperative relationship would be after that when he was forced to pay something. The thought of getting the courts involved and dealing with all these other people gives me a headache. > > I guess if it were a substantial amount of money it would matter more, or if I were not able to support myself and my children, but I am a much more reliable provider or at least I feel like I am. I would rather have a productive relationship with their father and have the opportunity to make my own money. Fortunately I have that since he does spend a lot of time with the kids. > > I feel for the people in a position where they have to fight this battle, but honestly, if he didn’t pay my anything, I would have to be in a pickle myself before I would go through the court process to get it. My daughter had a child with a douchebag from AZ. After they split she wanted to live there so he and the child could have a relationship, but he was a manipulative self centered prick who constantly jerked her around about money just to show he could. she eventually moved back to her home state, several states away, to escape his bullshit and because she needed some help. Now, years later, she has a great job. The AZ jerk has contacted her a few times and made feeble attempts to communicate with his daughter which served to hurt her feelings and make her wonder why Dad didn’t seem to give a shit. At first my daughter was afraid to go after him for fear he might sue for custody. Now, 10 years later, it just doesn’t seem worth the hassle and I get that. Still, I hope at some point she at least looks into going after him. It could be a nice college fund for her daughter and it irks me that the selfish prick pays nothing. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/74 "2013-05-06T13:58:14Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > As I’ve said in other threads, people wouldn’t bitch if they were provided with an accounting that the money they paid in child support was actually used in support of their child. I know that is a terrible inconvenience for someone to actually account for money they receive in trust, but it’s done all of the time, except in child support cases where it is perfectly legal to spend all of that money on yourself so long as CPS isn’t called for not giving the child basic minimum necessities. > > IOW, If I make $1M per year, I pay a lot of child support because the law says that the child should have a lifestyle accustomed to my income. However, other parent can take that money and spent it on whatever, but as long as there isn’t starvation and incests in the house, no harm no foul. This is absolutely wrong and needs changed.. That’s a horrible and foolish idea. Money can be used for the rent or mortage, the car payment, insurance, etc, and still be benifiting the child. Should they itemize the groceries as well, and who watches which cable channels? People who owe and pay child support need to figure out that it’s not about them and their feelings about their ex. They nheed to get an emotional grip and put that shit away, for their own sake as well as their childs. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/75 "2013-05-06T14:59:32Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You and your stupid, selfish opinion can go to hell. Actually, I’m a dad too. And I was talking from the point of view of what’s best for the kids. If it was to be that me getting out of my children’s life was the best thing for them, I’d do it. Sucks that you wouldn’t. I’ve known plenty of “fathers” who would have been better for their kids if they just paid the support and pissed off. Instead, they whine about paying what they owe and continue making messes. As it happens, unfortunately, I should’ve read up before I posted. Looks like in most cases kids in joint custody do no worse, maybe better, than kids in sole custody. I had the impression that kids in sole custody do a lot better, probably because I’ve seen so many loser dads. Defensive, whiny, loser dads. In retrospect, I should not have made that post, but it was from the point of view of the welfare of children. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/76 "2013-05-06T15:25:50Z")
Defensive whiny, loser dads were probably not nice dads even when they were (if they were) married/in a relationship with the mother of the kids. I can see that whiny, loser dads can piss off. But there are plenty of dads who are not constantly whiny and think their kids are their pride and joy, even though they couldn’t stand being married to the kids’ mom. I knew a few of my high school friends where this was the case. And from what I was able to see as a kid, my dad was as involved as he could with my half-siblings. To the point that now, as adults, they have a good, respectful, and loving relationship. Not to mention that the relationship with the extended family (grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts) has been maintained (and they even know my maternal extended family). I can’t see what good would have come from my siblings not having my father around or viceversa. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/77 "2013-05-06T15:50:55Z")
Oh what the fuck, I’ll toss in. I have two children, 14 & 13 from a previous marriage which ended in 2008. I pay court ordered child support which is garnished from my paycheck and sent directly to their mom, who has remarried. Though there are aspects about their mom and her new husband I do not like, I keep the nature of those objections and any criticism to myself. I told the kids early on that I refused to discuss my opinions of their mom and stepdad until both had reached the age of 18, and by then I may not have anything to say. For their part my children appear to appreciate this arrangement and it has lowered the stress between us considerably. The fact is that when we first divorced I hated my ex. Now, not so much. We have established a cordial relationship and are able to communicate effectively. Due to distance & job issues I don’t see the children as often as I like, but I do have them (on average) for a weekend a month and several weeks during the summer, with more time shifted towards the summer months than winter so we can go do more. My relationship with my children is wonderful and they appear happy with their lives. With regards to the OP’s notion that parents should pay directly & not have their paychecks garnished - here I will disagree. With the sums of money involved in child support, and the fact that the earner (me) has to pay the taxes so the receiver (ex) _gets the money tax free_ it is far better to just have the money pulled directly from your check and forwarded on. My employer charges me $3 per paycheck for the effort they expend doing this. It’s worth it for me; I don’t see the money, I don’t spend it accidentally or otherwise, I am not in arrears and I never will be. With regards to ‘the money’ and how it’s used and who does what - yes that can be infuriating. Personally I have spent years supporting the interests of others and I sure would like to spend my money the way I want to. But as I have always contended we are dealing with _Law_, not _Justice_, and thus some things are just going to be the way they are. As it stands both my kids are going through the braces thing, and I am paying the same amount I paid a couple years ago, so I imagine any excess money my ex _may_ have enjoyed then is being used now. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/78 "2013-05-06T16:04:08Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > Actually, I’m a dad too. And I was talking from the point of view of what’s best for the kids. If it was to be that me getting out of my children’s life was the best thing for them, I’d do it. Sucks that you wouldn’t. The difference is that I, like most fathers, am a source of love, joy, guidance and support to my daughter. “Getting out of her life” is abandonment, pure and simple, and would be a terrible, evil thing to do to her. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/79 "2013-05-06T17:19:59Z")
> [@2gigch1](#): > > But as I have always contended we are dealing with _Law_, not _Justice_, and thus some things are just going to be the way they are. Your whole post was very good, but this stuck out to me as being particularly wise. You should be proud of yourself. You have a great depth of maturity, which I am certain your kids see and appreciate, and will (hopefully) emulate as they grow older. You sound like a great dad. Congratulations. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239/80 "2013-05-06T17:25:56Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Well, you know how those wealthy men just love jobless, maniacally insane women with kids from their first marriage! Considering how jobless men with criminal records and a history of abuse seem to have women beating their doors down to be their next victim, it wouldn’t surprise me, especially if she’s a stripper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-deadbeats-not-paying-child-support/657239.md?page=5)