# Fucking Dog Owners **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 20, 2016, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161 "2016-10-20T17:42:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/41 "2016-10-21T19:26:08Z")
Well, sometimes dogs imitate their owners. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2016, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/42 "2016-10-21T20:00:07Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > I often don’t have any choice where my dogs choose to shit. It was hard enough to train them to shit outside. They have to shit _somewhere_, and if they find a spot and squat, I can’t really stop the process. Can’t exactly push the turd back inside either. Can’t you just walk your dog around your OWN yard? Or not let your dog walk on other peoples yards? ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2016, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/43 "2016-10-21T21:00:32Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Can’t you just walk your dog around your OWN yard? Or not let your dog walk on other peoples yards? “A Daniel come to judgement!” How about owners actually training their dogs to go at home, hell, they did it to their kids, dogs have gotta’ be easier. I’m a city dweller, and see MANY dog owners dutifully pick up whatever Fido decides to drop, and walk the bag right over to a public refuse can. Sometimes these cans sit around for weeks before they are picked up, roses it ain’t. Why can’t the owners pick up and deposit it in their own trash containers, the damned stuff is already bagged, it’s not gonna’ bite them on your walk home. OR, flush it down a toilet at home, so we can all breathe easier. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/44 "2016-10-22T02:20:49Z")
Full disclosure: My wife has a dog that I don’t particularly like all that much. She brought it in to our relationship. Now that we have a toddler, the dog has become My Problem. She did scare off a burglar once, so I guess she’s a good girl. I guess I don’t see a problem with letting the dog shit within a couple of feet of the sidewalk in my neighbor’s front yards, so long as I clean up after her. In my urban (but wooded) neighborhood, we get cat shit, deer shit, squirrel shit, probably coyote shit, and definitely racoon shit. Hell, the dirt is mostly worm shit. That’s also not accounting for the random chicken bones and Cheetos bags I’m constantly cleaning up from in front of my house. We’re all just a bunch of animals, drowning in our own shit. I don’t drop the turd bags in the neighbor’s trash cans, but I sure as hell use public trash cans when I find them. That’s what they’re there for. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/45 "2016-10-22T04:26:03Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I have learned to recognize the “I Am Going to Poop” expression on the face of Leet the Wonder Dog[sup]TM[/sup], and I have learned to catch the doo-doo before it even touches the grass. I have to time it carefully - the beast in question sometimes tries to waddle forward with a pained expression on his little countenance, but if I catch him just right he is unable to interrupt the process and all is well. > > Sometimes I think I might be over-thinking the whole thing, but then I read posts like the OP and feel reassured. > > And I have actually checked with the homeowners on whose lampposts, fire hydrants, electrical stands, and bushes, on which my little furry friend goes winkie-dink, and they are all dog owners, so it is a matter of whose pinkle is on top. > > Regards, > Shodan We are unspeakably long-term friends, but YEAH! My fucking dogs are completrly useless.\ “Can we get this online Chihuahhua?” “Is it housebroken?” “Pretty much.” “He lives upstairs until you can say yes. And you pay for him,.” ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/46 "2016-10-22T07:57:04Z")
Early one Saturday morning about 8 years ago I was drinking coffee in my back yard when I heard something in my front yard. I looked over the fence and caught my neighbor standing 25 feet into my yard, past my low maintenance rocks and “stay the fuck off my lawn” agaves and cactii and square in the very center of my gorgeous emerald winter rye coaxing his dog to take a shit. “Looks like your dog has had a busy morning; you’re all out of bags. Sit tight, I’ll bring one around, neighbor.” He was nowhere to be found. I raked up every last pile of dog shit from the week preceding and dumped them on his doorstep. Overreaction, sure, but when my front yard dog shit problem immediately and completely stopped I felt vindicated. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/47 "2016-10-22T14:10:30Z")
> [@quiltguy](#): > > “A Daniel come to judgement!” How about owners actually training their dogs to go at home, hell, they did it to their kids, dogs have gotta’ be easier. I’m a city dweller, and see MANY dog owners dutifully pick up whatever Fido decides to drop, and walk the bag right over to a public refuse can. Sometimes these cans sit around for weeks before they are picked up, roses it ain’t. Why can’t the owners pick up and deposit it in their own trash containers, the damned stuff is already bagged, it’s not gonna’ bite them on your walk home. OR, flush it down a toilet at home, so we can all breathe easier. :dubious: Strange response to a simple couple of questions :dubious: Well, why CAN’T they pick it up and carry it back to their OWN home? I’m just curious why people who say “I can’t control where my dog poops” just don’t walk the dog in their own yard. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/48 "2016-10-22T14:42:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **MikeF** : > > Other animals may be dumping on the lawn but I doubt any of them are meat-eaters. Where do you live that is completely devoid of raccoons, skunks, opossums, coyotes, feral dogs and cats, robins, and hawks? ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/49 "2016-10-22T16:45:59Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Just curious, why do you make a differentiation between city vs. suburb in this situation? There’s all kinds of differences in city and suburban norms IME. Is that actually news to you? ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/50 "2016-10-22T17:57:39Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Damuri, based on your presence on this message board, if you were my neighbor I’d shit on your lawn. Letting my dog do it would just be for the lulz. I’m not sure what you mean. Are you saying that you would shit on any Dopers lawn or just me? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/51 "2016-10-22T18:05:15Z")
There’s a paid dog walker in our area who had suddenly decided to add our street to his route. He leads 6-8 medium to large dogs on leashes down our block and then once at the end, he cuts right, back towards the neighborhood that he started from. Douche-Face ( he doesn’t look EXACTLY like Wolowitz. Imagine there was a City populated entirely of Wolowitzes where Wolowitz was the Jock/Stud prom king… and this dog walker was the last place douche-faced loser of 10,000 Wolowitzes…) has decided that our block is the block on his long route where he’s going to stop, keep the dogs standing until they get bored and start sniffing in circles before squatting. Understand that when this many dogs of this size drop a carpet bombing, it’s both significant and more than this guy can or will bag or pick up. I noticed it as a pattern and a problem, so I called him on it and I suggested that he walk them in a park four blocks away instead. He was clearly put off by my suggesting this, saying something about “its a free country” before yanking his Bugs Bunny gaggle of hounds away from my house. I knew then that he’d try to be back and that he’d try to make them all shit on my lawn. So, I set up my hose, pulled out a folding chair, and for the next week when he showed on our block I was re-reading the Harry Potter series with a hose next to my chair. He’d walk by with a butt-hurt look on his face, driving his Herd of Shittle, and if I felt charitable, it’d give him a big wave and a “Hiya, pal…!” The next week I visited COSTCO for a few family sized containers of cayenne and I’d mix it liberally with fertilizer or lime or grub killer and I would then put my Scott’s Spreader to good use. (As a side note, it’s 50 years later and ‘Cool Hand Luke’ is still relevant.) The week after that, I set up the sprinkler on my front lawn and I’d turn it on whenever douche-face set foot on our block. I’ll never know for a fact if douche-face learned not drag his Irish Shitters down my street or not. Maybe it was his Turd-Dogs that learned not to ‘drop’ by. (Either way, “no deposit, no return” is a happy ending…!) ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/52 "2016-10-22T18:57:53Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Can’t you just walk your dog around your OWN yard? Or not let your dog walk on other peoples yards? You can’t just walk your dog around your own yard; that’s not enough exercise. And keeping your from walking on yards is rather difficult, as that’s where some of the best smells are. Honesty, as long as the poop is picked up and returned to the owner’s dwelling, dogs pooping in your yard is just one of the tradeoffs of having a publicly accessible lawn. It’s just poop, it’s not expended nuclear fuel rods. Put up a fence or start camping out on your porch with a stick: “get that mangy mutt off my lawn, whippersnapper!” ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/53 "2016-10-22T19:17:53Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > I have never seen cat poop on my lawn. I have some idea of what it looks like. > > Actually I have never seen cats in my neighborhood. Then you have coyotes and they probably shit on your lawn on occasion. I really don’t get this huge issue with dog owners who clean up after themselves. So what that your kids play on that lawn, it’s not like its going to be sterile if no dog has visited. And your kids are probably screaming and pissing someone else off. Welcome to the real world. ---
**Author:** ![Vicsage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e68b1a/32.png) [@Vicsage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vicsage)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2016, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/54 "2016-10-22T22:49:52Z")
I always make sure my dogs go in my yard, especially this time of year. It puts the trick in trick or treat. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/55 "2016-10-23T05:33:04Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Strange response to a simple couple of questions :dubious: > > Well, why CAN’T they pick it up and carry it back to their OWN home? > > I’m just curious why people who say “I can’t control where my dog poops” just don’t walk the dog in their own yard. Because dog poop is gross and they don’t want it on their lawn. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/56 "2016-10-23T05:41:49Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Then you have coyotes and they probably shit on your lawn on occasion. Nope. No coyotes. > [@](#): > > I really don’t get this huge issue with dog owners who clean up after themselves. So what that your kids play on that lawn, it’s not like its going to be sterile if no dog has visited. And your kids are probably screaming and pissing someone else off. Welcome to the real world. There is a difference between walking barefoot through grass and walking barefoot through grass smeared with dog shit. I’m not complaining about barking dogs. I’m complaining about dogs taking a sit on my lawn. Frankly, if they always picked up the poop, it probably wouldn’t bother me but the fact that they leaves the shit there from time to time make me lose all tolerance for u dogs shitting on my lawn. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/57 "2016-10-23T05:57:33Z")
> [@Corry\_El](#): > > There’s all kinds of differences in city and suburban norms IME. That’s not what I asked you. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/58 "2016-10-24T14:18:40Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > You can’t just walk your dog around your own yard; that’s not enough exercise. And keeping your from walking on yards is rather difficult, as that’s where some of the best smells are. Walk your dog around your own yard until it poops, THEN go for a walk for exercise. Also, it being “rather” difficult seems like the dog owners problem. If you can keep the dog out of the street, it seems like you could keep it out of other peoples lawns. > [@](#): > > Honesty, as long as the poop is picked up and returned to the owner’s dwelling, dogs pooping in your yard is just one of the tradeoffs of having a publicly accessible lawn. It’s just poop, it’s not expended nuclear fuel rods. Put up a fence or start camping out on your porch with a stick: “get that mangy mutt off my lawn, whippersnapper!” Sorry, but my lawn is not publicly accessible. Is it cool if I just come over to your lawn, plop down a porta-potty, and start using it for the bathroom? It’s just poop! ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/59 "2016-10-24T14:27:20Z")
Really OP? You’re going to seriously be one of those guys? lol [http://harristwp.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/get-off-my-lawn.jpg](http://harristwp.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/get-off-my-lawn.jpg) This reminds me of years ago, as a kid. I once ran in between a couple houses as a shortcut, like literally just jogged maybe 20 yards between these two houses and some guy came running out as I already had passed through and started yelling at me. lol, like seriously? I’m already passed your lawn anyway you dipwad. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161/60 "2016-10-24T16:37:04Z")
> [@HeXen](#): > > Really OP? You’re going to seriously be one of those guys? lol > > [http://harristwp.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/get-off-my-lawn.jpg](http://harristwp.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/get-off-my-lawn.jpg) > > This reminds me of years ago, as a kid. I once ran in between a couple houses as a shortcut, like literally just jogged maybe 20 yards between these two houses and some guy came running out as I already had passed through and started yelling at me. lol, like seriously? I’m already passed your lawn anyway you dipwad. You can walk across my lawn if you need to, just don’t shit on it. Or do you not see a difference between taking a shortcut between two houses and shitting on their lawn? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dog-owners/769161.md?page=4)