# Fucking Dove moisturizing commercial (very lame; please share your own infuriating commercials) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 17, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476 "2009-09-17T18:58:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/101 "2009-09-29T17:59:30Z")
I can’t stand the AT&T mom because she looks like she’s on the verge of laughing instead of trying to stare him down. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2009, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/102 "2009-09-30T10:03:46Z")
See…I LOVE the AT&T mom. I think those commercials are hilarious. Especially the milky minutes one. “Isn’t she lactose intolerant?” That’s the kind of smartass remark I’d have said as a kid…and she plays the part perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/103 "2009-10-01T20:04:57Z")
I finally remembered which commercial it is I really really hate the most - Twix need a moment? aggghhh hope you choke on it douche ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/104 "2009-10-02T01:06:50Z")
…but the Sony eBooks Reader commercial is the worst commercial of all time - ALL TIME! I just saw this last night during Glee and went: WUT? A woman is in an electronics store looking at the Sony deal and goes: “Can I read a lot of books on this?” You see the device for, truly, half a second. Now, we all know what an eBook reader is, it’s like a Kindle. Anyone who DOESN’T know that sure as hell needs to see it for more than half a second. Any one who knows it’s like a Kindle wants to know “Why is it different than a Kindle, which is much better known and why should I buy yours instead?” Suddenly the wall opens and an interview panel appears featuring: Amy Sedaris, Justin Timberlake, Peyton Manning, and someone I don’t recognise. Oh it’s going to be funny and they’re each going to tell me something neat! Amy says: “Why yes! You can read hundreds of books - including mine!” holds up book. - funniness rating: D Guy on end says: “I’m (didn’t catch name) professional speed reader - HUNDREDS of books! [pause] I just read one now!” - funniness rating: F Justin Timberlake: “Me too!..No, I didn’t.” funniness rating: C+, barely Peyton Manning: DOES NOT HAVE A LINE - why is he there?! End of commercial. So, Sony eBook Reader is a device you can read books on (which I already knew from the name), that you have no desire to show me, and you have hired 3 celebrities and a nobody to tell me nothing about (one of them LITERALLY nothing.) ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/105 "2009-10-03T06:42:08Z")
> [@](#): > > There’s a commercial for Febreze, or, perhaps, some other air freshener type product that really bugs me. A mother comes in to tell her teenage son to clean up because he’s going to have guest arriving. She ends up using the product on the furniture in his room before his two guest, teenage girls, arrive. That’s completely gross. Wash your stuff, and quit filling the air with chemicals, because honestly i just want to slap that kid AND his mom. There is a tide commecial with a black father and son, and the kid’s just gotten out of his bath and the music “taaaaaaake meee hooooooomme too maaaahhh familyyyyy” is excessively saccarine, and just makes me want to barf. Just take the disgusting sticky, stinky, icky trash out, ya lazy stupid whiny cow, and here’s a quarter not only for another bag but for you to CHOKE ON IT. Freecreditreport guy gets to be hit with his own guitar for merely existing. ---
**Author:** ![xnylder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbce88/32.png) [@xnylder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xnylder)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/106 "2009-10-03T15:08:46Z")
Another new commercial: “Here’s a surprise: Canada Dry Ginger Ale is made with real ginger!” Gee, considering that I can buy ginger for about a dollar a pound retail, and considering that a little ginger can flavor a whole lot of beverage, why should I be surprised you’re using the real thing? It’s dirt cheap! ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/107 "2009-10-04T11:14:22Z")
> [@Maiira](#): > > As an addendum to my last post, I found [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fu9raarNsg) Brawny commercial, which shows the kid helping mom clean up the messes they made. Yay Brawny! 🙂 Really, I would be hard pressed to find a mum who wouldn’t be the slightly mad at all the mess - never mind laughing while cleaning it all up. 20 years back my mum would have caned me for causing so much trouble for her (Southeast Asian context here) ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/108 "2009-10-04T13:44:01Z")
> [@Jettboy](#): > > I hate that ad for [OnlineBootyCall.com](http://OnlineBootyCall.com) with the two guys in a club; one of them’s date is a ‘nice’ gal he met on [Match.com](http://Match.com) and the other fella has a skankasaurus from Onilne Booty Call. > > The mesage seems to be that “_all_ men want a sleazy, STD-ridden slutpuppy who’ll fuck the socks of any random dude she meets on the internet”. I can’t decide which is creepier; that the one guy is actually _kissing_ the skank without a tongue condom of some sort —which is tantamount to sucking off an entire Star Wars chatroom by proxy— or that the second guy seems envious. Just to say… one of the best-written posts I’ve seen around here in a long time. _And_ I agree with the sentiment 100%. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/109 "2009-10-04T15:37:15Z")
> [@CrazyChop](#): > > Really, I would be hard pressed to find a mum who wouldn’t be the slightly mad at all the mess - never mind laughing while cleaning it all up. 20 years back my mum would have caned me for causing so much trouble for her (Southeast Asian context here) I can see it. Now, many of these kids are old enough to know better, and the mom should know whether their kid is ready or not to handle some of the things that make these messes, but my daughter has messed stuff up, or dropped a container and scattered cheerios all over the place, or cracked her sippy cup and sprayed juice all over the floor. And, at first, I might be a bit peeved, but then she gives me this 'Oh my GOSH it broke!" look that just makes me laugh, and it’s hard not to smile at it. (I try and hide it if it was something she really did wrong, as I don’t want her to know I think it’s kind of funny, but sometimes it’s hard) ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/110 "2009-10-04T15:46:30Z")
> [@Promethea](#): > > You do have the utterly fantastic Sarah Haskins! [Target Women: Doofy Husbands](http://current.com/items/90569059_sarah-haskins-in-target-women-doofy-husbands.htm) GOLD! ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/111 "2009-10-04T17:05:13Z")
Another vote for the wretched Febreze commercial. Just wash the sheets, the curtains, and the skanky ass dirty clothes. Also the new ad for Bisquick, where the mother rousts her kids out of bed to make pancakes. Look, Bisquick pancakes are one step removed from microwave pancakes. Stop pretending they’re something special. ---
**Author:** ![Carmady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@Carmady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carmady)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/112 "2009-10-04T20:47:03Z")
The Mastercard “priceless” commercials cause me great pain. They are an assault on logic. The initial formula made sense (various items you can buy with Mastercard, then a “priceless” feeling you will have afterward) but then they started running ads with only the abstract stuff and nothing you would buy with Mastercard. Abstract feeling 1: Zero dollars. Abstract feeling 2: Zero dollars. Abstract feeling 3: Priceless. “Zero dollars” means the same thing as “priceless” in this context. You don’t need a Mastercard for something that costs zero dollars. Aughh! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/113 "2009-10-05T13:50:26Z")
Speaking of incompetent husbands ones, I hate the one where he sets up a ladder and then has to be sucked in by the super-powerful vacuum they’re selling, to keep from falling backward. “Thanks, hon. I’ll call a handyman.” Um, no, just go back and reset your ladder correctly. And climb the ladder with some actual tools this time. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/114 "2009-10-06T02:32:42Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > For myself, I just want to stab the Restasis doctor (who, apparently, really is a doctor) in both her creepy eyes. I hate this commercial too, and not just because of her creepy eyes. No, what bothers me is the doctor asks the patient a couple of questions and diagnoses her with chronic dry eye, promising to write her a precription - and only THEN bothers to examine the patient. If you’re going to write her a precription and are sure enough already to tell her what’s wrong, why would you look at her eyes after that? If they’d left out the examination going on while talking about side effects, it’d be a lot less annoying. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/115 "2009-10-06T13:06:38Z")
My mom has something going on with her eyes where they dry out and her (spoiled for ooginess) corneas rip off and as soon as she mentioned it I said “Restasis!” Apparently her doc also suffers but doesn’t recommend Restasis since it takes months to work and essential is an irritant to make one’s eyes water. So instead it’s drops, gooey ointment, and moistened goggles at night. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/116 "2009-10-06T13:24:46Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > what bothers me is the doctor asks the patient a couple of questions and diagnoses her with chronic dry eye And what a q & a they have, too! “Doctor, here’s the thing. I’ve been using eye drops a lot.” “For how long?” “Quite some time.” “I’m writing you a prescription.” “A prescription? What is it?” Notice that the patient asks twice as many questions as the doctor does. My girlfriend and I actually have alternate dialogue for that commercial: “Doctor, here’s the thing. I’ve been sleeping with your husband.” “For how long?” “Quite some time.” “I’m writing you a prescription.” “A prescription? What is it?” “Probably a nasty little case of gonorrhea, unless he got that taken care of.” ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/117 "2009-10-06T14:04:57Z")
I find the Windows 7 commercials with cute little girl Kylie to be fairly unlikely (not to mention dangerous to those lacking in insulin production). Imagine a 6 year old who reads the reviews of the Windows 7 operating system and attaches them to professionally done (but gag-inducing) clip art. Who is Microsoft targeting with these ads? Are the legions of companies that decided not to upgrade to Vista going to be swayed by clip art of unicorns and puppies? Another commerical I saw last night. A mother and her daughter are hurrying down a street (voice over: “You try to keep active.”) They arrive at a curb with a sizable puddle. The kid leaps over the puddle but the mom hesitates. And for good reason, she’s wearing stiletto high heels. (Voice over: “Even at 30, you can be losing calcium from your bones. So eat Yoplait yogurt.”) Mom gathers her courage and leaps across the puddle. No doubt because she has been downing quarts of Yoplait, her ankles don’t shatter like glass when she comes down on her three inch heels. I’m guessing that if you really want to stay active, your best bet is not to wear ridiculous footwear while running errands in the city. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/118 "2009-10-06T14:26:25Z")
There’s one for some brand of fish sticks that I hadn’t seen in a while, but did see again last night. It makes my blood boil. A little girl takes a bite of the inferior product that her mom serves her and starts berating poor Mom. “Minced fish?!? You serve me minced fish?” Cut to mom setting down a plate of the advertised brand, saying, “Here you go, honey. _Brand A_ fish sticks, never minced!” Little girl takes a bite and says, “That’s more like it!” I’m positive they’re related to the pizza-ordering mom with the “pie-ella” hating son. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/119 "2009-10-06T15:41:48Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > And what a q & a they have, too! > > “Doctor, here’s the thing. I’ve been using eye drops a lot.” > “For how long?” > “Quite some time.” > “I’m writing you a prescription.” > “A prescription? What is it?” > > Notice that the patient asks twice as many questions as the doctor does. > > My girlfriend and I actually have alternate dialogue for that commercial: > > “Doctor, here’s the thing. I’ve been sleeping with your husband.” > “For how long?” > “Quite some time.” > “I’m writing you a prescription.” > “A prescription? What is it?” > “Probably a nasty little case of gonorrhea, unless he got that taken care of.” In my head I hear this dialog; “I’m going to write you a prescription” “A prescription? What is it?” “It’s a piece of paper I write medications on, but that’s not important right now.” ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476/120 "2009-10-06T15:54:43Z")
Ah! You’ve been reading my [rant](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11331742&postcount=126) from July 12! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-dove-moisturizing-commercial-very-lame-please-share-your-own-infuriating-commercials/510476.md?page=7)