# Fucking Homophobic Customers at Wendy's
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [December 14, 2003, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919 "2003-12-14T08:01:16Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/101 "2003-12-15T18:40:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by World Eater \*
> \*\*What possible health violation comes from a few pecks? \*\*
[Perceived] health violations, I suspect. When I see a non-employee, out of uniform, leaning over a food serving area, my brain knows that vile germs will probably not spill off of that person into my burger, but my stomach says “Let’s eat somewhere else.” And I have a strong stomach. If my girlfriend saw that, she’d spit out whatever food was in her mouth and leave, not to eat out again for a month. (OK, she’s a bit of a germophobe.)
Last year I was at a pizza place, patiently awaiting a plate of speghetti. When your dish is ready there, the counter staff will put your plate (and utensils, and garlic bread) on a plastic cafeteria-type tray. While I was waiting, a woman (friend or wife of an employee) brought her baby in. The entire staff gathered around to coo over this infant, who was sitting on the stack of trays – and with an obviously full diaper. OK, I knew that baby butt germs would probably not leak onto the tray, and I was under no obligation to use the top tray, but sheesh! The mere thought acted as a most effective appetite suppressant.
As for PDAs in the workplace – I was once developing a software application for the CEO where I used to work. It was common for me to bring an install disk into his office (without knocking, as his door was always open). One night I walked in to find his fiance sitting on his lap. They were obviously enjoying a private intimate moment. And I was made to feel as though I was some sort of sick voyeur by walking in on them. Not they blamed me or anything, but I’m sure I was more embarassed than either of them. I should never have seen that. They should never have put me in that position, no matter how accidental.
As much as I’m all for loving relationships, I never ever want to see my boss playing sucky face with anyone.
As for the OP:
Was the costumer a homophobe? Probably. But that does not make this a clear case of gay-bashing.
Did she over react? Yep.
Does this absolve the OP of acting unprofessionally, especially since it’s not her career profession of choice? Nope. Smooching in a public food service area is probably not in the job description.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/102 "2003-12-15T18:48:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \*
> **My father’s a funeral director, and some of the shit he’s put up with through the years would make your hair fall out. No respect, no insurance, shitty deals, out and out illegal practices that he couldn’t do jackshit about-even though he was in the right.**
I just wanted to comment that I think your father is in a very cool profession. It’s one I respect a lot. And I’m sure he gets way more flak than he deserves.
As long as doesn’t engage in PDAs with his “customers.”
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### Author:  [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/103 "2003-12-15T18:59:22Z")
I don’t understand what’s so difficult about the concept of professionalism here.
As a straight person who spends an inordinate amount of time hanging out in West Hollywood, I can safely say that it is entirely possible to find your behavior offensive without being homophobic. (I agree, she probably was, but let’s put that aside for a moment, k?)
The long and the short of it is: you are at work. You are BEING PAID to work for and represent your employer. You have SOLD that hour of your day to the employer. That’s how jobs work. Whether your mother or your girlfriend, you have no right to socialize on the job. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. I try to treat every customer as well as if they were my friends, and I treat my friends no better than my other customers. In fact, I feel rather awkward when friends or family come by because I feel the social tug to spend extra time on them, but my WORK ETHIC reminds me that it is not my time once I’ve sold it to an employer. So I smile and say hello but treat them as I would any other customer (save for I happen to know their name, which I use whenever availible unless they’re a celebrity).
My reputation at a job was once damaged by a friend whom I’d recommended, and whose boyfriend showed up in the middle of our work - she spent time with him rather than in the kitchen where there was work to be done, and even if there hadn’t, it wasn’t appropriate.
Work time is work time, personal time is personal time. Period.
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/104 "2003-12-15T19:08:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tdn \*
> **[Perceived] health violations, I suspect. When I see a non-employee, out of uniform, leaning over a food serving area, my brain knows that vile germs will probably not spill off of that person into my burger, but my stomach says “Let’s eat somewhere else.” And I have a strong stomach. If my girlfriend saw that, she’d spit out whatever food was in her mouth and leave, not to eat out again for a month. (OK, she’s a bit of a germophobe.)**
_Perceived_? Unless there is an actual health violation I would say the problem is in your girlfriend’s head.
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> Last year I was at a pizza place, patiently awaiting a plate of speghetti. When your dish is ready there, the counter staff will put your plate (and utensils, and garlic bread) on a plastic cafeteria-type tray. While I was waiting, a woman (friend or wife of an employee) brought her baby in. The entire staff gathered around to coo over this infant, who was sitting on the stack of trays – and with an obviously full diaper. OK, I knew that baby butt germs would probably not leak onto the tray, and I was under no obligation to use the top tray, but sheesh! The mere thought acted as a most effective appetite suppressant. \*\*
I would say a baby with a shitfilled diaper sitting in a stack of trays is a far cry from leaning over a counter to kiss someone.
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> As for PDAs in the workplace – I was once developing a software application for the CEO where I used to work. It was common for me to bring an install disk into his office (without knocking, as his door was always open). One night I walked in to find his fiance sitting on his lap. They were obviously enjoying a private intimate moment. And I was made to feel as though I was some sort of sick voyeur by walking in on them. Not they blamed me or anything, but I’m sure I was more embarassed than either of them. **I should never have seen that. They should never have put me in that position, no matter how accidental.** \*\*
Bolding mine.
This seems a tad extreme to me. So because you are squeamish, he can’t be playful (I’m not talking about doing her on the desk) behind closed doors? In fact he has to conduct himself in a manner which will not offend you should you barge on into his office without knocking?
should he put a necktie on the door?
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### Author:  [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/105 "2003-12-15T19:18:01Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Morrigoon_
>
> Work time is work time, personal time is personal time. Period.
Would a similarily lenghty handshake been as offensive to professional sensibilities?
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### Author:  [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/106 "2003-12-15T19:20:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by World Eater \*
> \*\*This seems a tad extreme to me. So because you are squeamish, he can’t be playful (I’m not talking about doing her on the desk) behind closed doors? In fact he has to conduct himself in a manner which will not offend you should you barge on into his office without knocking?
>
> should he put a necktie on the door? \*\*
Who said the door was closed? Not **tdn** who specifically mentioned the person’s door was always open. Maybe he meant that it was always unlocked, but I assume he meant physically open, as most CEOs would not be able to have a “come on in” policy while the door is actually closed, considering the types of meetings the job requires.
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### Author:  [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/107 "2003-12-15T19:22:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by pizzabrat \*
> \*\*Would a similarily lenghty handshake been as offensive to professional sensibilities? \*\*
That’s the same as a few kisses on the mouth in your world?
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/108 "2003-12-15T19:31:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Slacker \*
> \*\*Who said the door was closed? Not **tdn** who specifically mentioned the person’s door was always open. Maybe he meant that it was always unlocked, but I assume he meant physically open, as most CEOs would not be able to have a “come on in” policy while the door is actually closed, considering the types of meetings the job requires. \*\*
Actually yep, I missed the door always open part. I was thinking that the door was unlocked but closed.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/109 "2003-12-15T19:46:28Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by World Eater \*
> \*\*_Perceived_? Unless there is an actual health violation I would say the problem is in your girlfriend’s head.
>
> I would say a baby with a shitfilled diaper sitting in a stack of trays is a far cry from leaning over a counter to kiss someone.
> \*\*
True and true, but a business runs 90% on customer perception. And a good deal of people are squeemish about their food. Wendy’s employees and owners can complain all they want about how “it’s all in their heads”, but it’s ultimately Wendy’s that will suffer because of lost business.
And even in situations where food is not the product, if I walk into a store and see a clerk’s friend leaning over the counter, my first perception is that the clerk does not have my interests at heart. Sure, it’s all in my head, but I’m more likely to take my head out of there, with my wallet in tow.
Bolding mine.
> [@](#):
>
> **This seems a tad extreme to me. So because you are squeamish, he can’t be playful (I’m not talking about doing her on the desk) behind closed doors? In fact he has to conduct himself in a manner which will not offend you should you barge on into his office without knocking?**
What **Slacker** said. The door was always open (I mentioned this – did you read it? And yes, I mean physically wide open, with a doorstop), and it was commonplace for me to walk in a dozen times per day. On the occasions when I was unwelcome, the door would be closed and I would come back another time.
And it neither makes me nor requires me to be “squeamish” to walk in on my boss engaged in a game of slurpy face. I’m not sure about where you work, but that sort of thing is considered inappropriate in more than a few work environments. And for good reason. A lot of people are embarrassed when they see such a display.
'Course, it’s all in their heads.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/110 "2003-12-15T19:51:32Z")
Ignore my “Bolding mine” comment. Bad editing.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by World Eater \*
> \*\*Actually yep, I missed the door always open part. I was thinking that the door was unlocked but closed. \*\*
Ah. Gotcha ya.
Yep, propped wide open.
Even so, necking behind closed doors is still considered not appropriate in most workplaces. I personally don’t consider it the crime of the century (hell, I once got a hummer at the office on a Saturday), but one could receive disciplinary action for it.
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/111 "2003-12-15T20:04:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tdn \*
> \*\*True and true, but a business runs 90% on customer perception. And a good deal of people are squeemish about their food. Wendy’s employees and owners can complain all they want about how “it’s all in their heads”, but it’s ultimately Wendy’s that will suffer because of lost business.
>
> And even in situations where food is not the product, if I walk into a store and see a clerk’s friend leaning over the counter, my first perception is that the clerk does not have my interests at heart. Sure, it’s all in my head, but I’m more likely to take my head out of there, with my wallet in tow. \*\*
Well I’m sure if employee PDA begins to affect their bottom line, that Wendys will act swiftly. I’ll wager though, that the chances of employee PDA being the sole reason of turning someone off to that particular establishment are nonexistant.
What **Slacker** said. The door was always open (I mentioned this – did you read it? And yes, I mean physically wide open, with a doorstop), and it was commonplace for me to walk in a dozen times per day. On the occasions when I was unwelcome, the door would be closed and I would come back another time.
And it neither makes me nor requires me to be “squeamish” to walk in on my boss engaged in a game of slurpy face. I’m not sure about where you work, but that sort of thing is considered inappropriate in more than a few work environments. And for good reason. A lot of people are embarrassed when they see such a display.
'Course, it’s all in their heads. \*\*
[/QUOTE]
I could see riding her from behind on the desk or something, slapping her pale gelatinous ass as and yelling “Giddy up”, but giving you SO a goodbye kiss or even sitting on his lap? No, you need to lighten up if that bothers you.
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/112 "2003-12-15T20:18:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tdn \*
> \*\*Even so, necking behind closed doors is still considered not appropriate in most workplaces. I personally don’t consider it the crime of the century (hell, I once got a hummer at the office on a Saturday), but one could receive disciplinary action for it. \*\*
I agree with you here, but I think disciplinary action is needed only in the case of a hummer.
[sub]Disciplinary action consisting of the taking them out for drinks[/sub] 😃
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### Author:  [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/113 "2003-12-15T20:26:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Slacker_
> That’s the same as a few kisses on the mouth in your world?
Did you read the post I was responding to? Morrigoon argued that time was being wasted on PDA’s; time that belonged to the employer. Therefore, a similarily lengthly handshake should be just as offensive to Morrigoon (though I suspect that it wouldn’t be).
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### Author:  [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/114 "2003-12-15T20:33:14Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by pizzabrat \*
> \*\*Did you read the post I was responding to? Morrigoon argued that time was being wasted on PDA’s; time that belonged to the employer. Therefore, a similarily lengthly handshake should be just as offensive to Morrigoon (though I suspect that it wouldn’t be). \*\*
Word, **pizzabrat** - I didn’t realize that was the point you were making. I agree that it’s not about wasting time (how many of us are at work while debating this) - it’s about what’s appropriate in the workplace.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/115 "2003-12-15T20:35:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by World Eater \*
> **I could see riding her from behind on the desk or something, slapping her pale gelatinous ass as and yelling “Giddy up”, but giving you SO a goodbye kiss or even sitting on his lap?**
Well, it was more than just a goodbye kiss. As I said, it at least appeared to be pretty intimate. More than just a “Bye honey, I’ll see you at the home later, don’t forget the cheese” kiss. I could easily image it as more of a “Wiggle your ass for me just once more, yeah, that’s pure connubial gold!” type kiss. Not the kind of thing one normally expects in a professional environment.
Were my perceptions wrong? Maybe, but does it really matter?
And it wasn’t that I thought they were engaged in some sinful ungodly behavior. It’s not like I’m a prude. I walked in on the guy with the power to fire me, and caught him with his tongue in the cookie jar.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by World Eater \*
> \*\*No, you need to lighten up if that bothers you. \*\*
Don’t worry, I’m hardly scarred for life. Embarrassed as I was, I was able to handle it. But do you think everyone would be?
As I see it, there could have been two ways to deal with the situation: 1) I could lighten up, and so could everyone else in the world, or 2), maybe the boss shouldn’t have been playing tongue wrestlemania in the office in the first place. Honestly, which of the two do you see as more reasonable?
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/116 "2003-12-15T20:40:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by World Eater \*
> \*\*[sub]Disciplinary action consisting of the taking them out for drinks[/sub] 😃 \*\*
So the spanking was not the correct disciplinary action? Dang! I hate it when I screw up office politics!
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/117 "2003-12-15T20:40:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tdn \*
> \*\*As I see it, there could have been two ways to deal with the situation: 1) I could lighten up, and so could everyone else in the world, or 2), maybe the boss shouldn’t have been playing tongue wrestlemania in the office in the first place. Honestly, which of the two do you see as more reasonable? \*\*
Well keep in mind that the rest of the world might not feel the same way about as you.
All in all I do agree with what your saying, and since I wasn’t there you definitely get the benefit of the doubt here. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/118 "2003-12-15T20:46:24Z")
Pure connubial gold?!? ROFL!
That may not make a good band name, but it would be a great first single. 😃
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/119 "2003-12-15T20:58:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by World Eater \*
> **Well keep in mind that the rest of the world might not feel the same way about as you.**
What the rest of the world thinks about it is a) Generally more prudish than I, and b) Pretty much codified into law. In my current office, the interpretation of that law is thus:
> [@](#):
>
> In Massachusetts, the legal definition of “sexual harassment” is sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature when:
>
> A. submission to or rejection of such advances, requests or conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of employment or as a basis for employment decisions, such as promotions, scheduling vacations, etc.; or,
>
> B. such advances, requests or conduct have the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work performance by creating an intimidating, hostile, humiliating or sexually offensive work environment.
A. doesn’t apply, but I would parse B. as saying “Conduct (has) the… effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work performance by creating a… hostile… work environment.”
Being that the guy was my boss (and CEO), and that I was already a bit intimidated by him (I was really new at the time), and that he could possibly have taken the perceived invasion of privacy out on me (stranger things have happened), it’s not unreasonable to see potential hostility in that. In fact, had it been a certain other person that walked in on them, she would have cried foul without a second thought.
As I said, I got over it really quick, and life was back to normal in no time, and they all lived happily ever after. No harm, no foul.
But in this day and age, i.e. post Clarence Thomas, a little prudery is always your best bet.
To summarize, my original point was… uh, what was my original point? Oh yeah – I walked in on my boss making out, and that really sucked!
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-homophobic-customers-at-wendys/218919/120 "2003-12-15T20:58:39Z")
I dunno, what I’m getting out of this is that **amber** and **lola** got a good laugh out of shocking some prude at their workplace who had nothing better to do that night than eat Wendy’s food and glare balefully at people who were different from her.
When you tell stories like that in front of your friends, it’s all good, but if you tell them here, be prepared for some serious scrutiny.
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