# Fucking Job **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 27, 2000, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724 "2000-06-27T15:12:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/1 "2000-06-27T15:12:15Z")
I hate this godforsaken concentration camp. It smells like death in this place. God corporate sucks big big big big, hairy, hemhoroid-infested, scabby ASS! I’m going to go drown myself in the watercooler. I got your “multitasking” you godam bloodworm. Why don’t you multitask on my anus! If I have to hear one more utterance of that fucking nonsensical, hypercorporate, illegitimate-ass office-speak, I’m going to hole punch the staff and bound them all in my ass-crack. Yeah- how bout I show my willingness to be a “team player” by rocket launching those “deliverables” straight up your dusty, liverspotted ass by COB you pathetic desk booger?! I’m going to stay late today, eat some really rancid cheese, and take individual craps on each person’s desk here. Sons of bitches. File that one away in your rolodex you cufflinked, acronym-spewing, two-faced, brown-nosing, Volvo driving, fake-ass, faxing chunk of goat placenta. ---
**Author:** ![Viscera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/258eb7/32.png) [@Viscera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viscera)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/2 "2000-06-27T15:18:15Z")
Bad day, eh? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/3 "2000-06-27T15:35:57Z")
It sounds to me you need to re-assess your private goals in order to make them line up with corporate policies. But remember to think outside the box every now and then as well! ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/4 "2000-06-27T15:37:33Z")
Hey, at least they’re not talking about the stock market, right? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/5 "2000-06-27T15:41:32Z")
Oh, but they are, they are. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/6 "2000-06-27T16:53:46Z")
me too. ---
**Author:** ![BigJoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@BigJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigJoe)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/7 "2000-06-27T20:11:07Z")
Magda, What you need to do is leverage your intellectual capital to generate a win / win scenario for all the stake holders in your enterprise which will engender a proactive, collaborative, entrepreneurial team environment to increase share holder value through increased productivity by utilizing your core competencies in technology. 😉 . . . . Translation: Show the old farts how to surf for porn & they’ll leave you the hell alone. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/8 "2000-06-27T20:26:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Magda, > > What you need to do is leverage your intellectual capital to generate a win / win scenario for all the stake holders in your enterprise which will engender a proactive, collaborative, entrepreneurial team environment to increase share holder value through increased productivity by utilizing your core competencies in technology. 😉 > > \*\* Thanks Joe, but I don’t think you used the passive voice enough. “What you need to do is leverage your intellectual capital so that a win/win scenario WILL BE GENERATED for all the stakeholders in your enterprise whereby a proactive, collaborative, entrepreneurial team environment to increase shareholder value through increasec productivity WILL BE ENGENDERED.” My core competencies are not in technology. ---
**Author:** ![BigJoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@BigJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigJoe)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/9 "2000-06-27T20:33:54Z")
Magda, Nit Picker! 😛 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ponch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@ponch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponch)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/10 "2000-06-27T20:36:58Z")
> [@](#): > > It sounds to me you need to re-assess your private goals in order to make them line up with corporate policies. But remember to think outside the box every now and then as well! richard, is that you? ---
**Author:** ![Shadenwawa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Shadenwawa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadenwawa)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/11 "2000-06-27T21:02:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Why don’t you multitask on my anus! We haven’t even had dinner! 😉 -S ---
**Author:** ![SaintAlphonso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@SaintAlphonso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaintAlphonso)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/12 "2000-06-27T21:13:59Z")
I don’t know how to use the “quote” feature, but I absolutely love the image of the entire staff being hole-punched and bound in your ass crack!!! ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/13 "2000-06-27T21:41:08Z")
Fuck’em. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/14 "2000-06-27T23:07:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > It sounds to me you need to re-assess your private goals in order to make them line up with corporate policies. But remember to think outside the box every now and then as well! > \*\* This isn’t Coldfire! What have you done with my friend??? -Sam ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/15 "2000-06-30T19:01:36Z")
Not to revive an old thread, but I quit! Today is last day! Woohoo! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/16 "2000-06-30T19:17:30Z")
Wanna Job? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-job/23724/17 "2000-06-30T19:21:00Z")
I’m opening myself up here, can feel it… Sure, what job?