# Fucking junkies (long-ish) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 10, 2005, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375 "2005-11-10T10:17:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/21 "2005-11-10T18:01:16Z")
**From the book of Wankers Chapter 1** And lo, there was that day a great clearing of the mists of confusion for we have finally been shown the way. For amongst us comes **Breakdancing Duck** , a being of unquestionable and pious virtue. Finally, a being without flaw, to sit in judgment over those who are lost and see morality as a nuanced thing rather than the righteous black and white that it is. And a cry went up over the land, and a multitude of douchbag law and order fetishists did rejoice and sing praise to their new prophet. Glory unto the 2D thinkers of this land, for surely they are blessed. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/22 "2005-11-10T18:01:22Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > You guys are funny. You think the cops have enough time or inclination to attempt to gain fingerprint evidence for what amounts to attempted burglery and drug posession. Hey, if heard from the junkie that I’d taken it, I _know_ they’d have found time to give me shit about it. The point is, I wouldn’t have taken the mag light because I wouldn’t have opened the guy’s bag _at all._ Wait for the cops, let them open it. If there’s anything in there of mine, point it out. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/23 "2005-11-10T19:16:33Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Interesting. You’re a criminal. There is a small place in my top desk drawer I will now call “lost and found”. It currently contains one new red AAA maglite (perhaps a $5-6 value). If the owner of said maglite comes in to claim it, he can have it back. At that time I will also direct him to the policeman who has the rest of his shit. > [@Priceguy](#): > > You can identify meth by sight? I didn’t happen to have my **Little Junkie Drug ID Kit** handy, but I’ve been around the block and it looked like meth. It was the tan crap most people call crank. Given he had rigs, and it didn’t look like heroin or coke, meth would be the most logical choice. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/24 "2005-11-10T19:40:43Z")
> [@Breakdancing Duck](#): > > So let me get this straight, it’s apparently the end of the fucking world if a druggie tries to steal crap from your place of work that would have been written off and replaced free of charge anyway, but it’s quite alright for you to steal one of said junkies personal belongings and then lie to the police, the alarm company and your employer about it. > > You are a total douchbag and a scum clown. Free of charge? Even if insurance covered it we’d pay a deductible. Perhaps a couple hundred bucks. $200 isn’t **free of charge**. There is also my time filling out paperwork, ordering new equipment, etc. The others in the office will have to spend time on this as well. Time is money and this is time spent away from billable hours with our clients. Even the theft attempt is costing the company money because now we have to spend time to create a policy to avoid this in the future. We’re having an office meeting on the subject. Would YOU like to cover this expense? Some of our people are billed out at $100 an hour. I’m billed out at $120 an hour and my time is backlogged at the moment. Shall we send you an invoice to make this “free of charge” for us? ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/25 "2005-11-10T20:11:32Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I would never confront someone who had the 'nads to steal stuff from a business. You don’t know if he’s armed, crazy and desperate, or what. Glad you’re ok. My brain at the moment agrees with you. A video projector isn’t worth getting hurt over. But last night I just took off after him. I didn’t even stop to think about it. I only snapped out of it when we got to the stairs. Today I feel stupid for going after him. ---
**Author:** ![fushj00mang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fushj00mang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fushj00mang)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/26 "2005-11-11T00:51:12Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > **From the book of Wankers Chapter 1** > > And lo, there was that day a great clearing of the mists of confusion for we have finally been shown the way. For amongst us comes **Breakdancing Duck** , a being of unquestionable and pious virtue. Finally, a being without flaw, to sit in judgment over those who are lost and see morality as a nuanced thing rather than the righteous black and white that it is. > > And a cry went up over the land, and a multitude of douchbag law and order fetishists did rejoice and sing praise to their new prophet. Glory unto the 2D thinkers of this land, for surely they are blessed. Binary, if I ever really, really need to slam someone, you’re getting the contract. ~Mang ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/27 "2005-11-11T01:37:26Z")
> [@Breakdancing Duck](#): > > So let me get this straight, it’s apparently the end of the fucking world if a druggie tries to steal crap from your place of work that would have been written off and replaced free of charge anyway, but it’s quite alright for you to steal one of said junkies personal belongings and then lie to the police, the alarm company and your employer about it. > > You are a total douchbag and a scum clown. BD, I realize that you’re pretty quick to go to the insults … but “scum clown?” That’s just cruel, man. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/28 "2005-11-11T01:46:10Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I don’t see how. The guy’s stuff is just going to sit in an evidence locker until it gets thrown away. It’s not like he’s going to come forward to claim his backpack o’ meth, or anything. Strictly speaking though, it ain’t his flashlight. It’s morally de minimis, though. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/29 "2005-11-11T02:01:20Z")
As we’re somewhat hung up on the flashlight I’d like to make one thing clear - I would have taken his CD’s as well if he had any taste in music. I wouldn’t have lost a bit of sleep over it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/30 "2005-11-11T02:17:15Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Strictly speaking though, it ain’t his flashlight. It’s morally de minimis, though. I’m not familiar with the term “morally de minimis.” ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/31 "2005-11-11T02:27:59Z")
> [@Breakdancing Duck](#): > > […] for you to steal one of said junkies personal belongings and then lie to the police, the alarm company and your employer about it. [list=a][li]Isn’t it an offense to make a false statement to the police or to make a false police report?[/li][li]Can’t the alarm company refuse to provide services to the OP’s employer if it’s determined/discovered that the employer or one of its agents was doing somethign nefarious (such as making false statements regarding a criminal act on the premises)?[/li]Can’t the employer can the OP for making false statements to the employer?[/list] ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/32 "2005-11-11T03:14:21Z")
Surprised to hear the “no dusting for fingerprints anymore” comment. Our one (and fortunately) only experience with this sort of thing was when a neighbor heard breaking glass in our daughter’s apartment and knew there was nobody home, and called the police. She said they dusted all over for prints, found a few, and later called her to ask if she had recently permitted a middle-aged black guy in her apartment. She had not. The prints had matched a set already on file. The thief was later apprehended and convicted. Unfortunately, they never recovered the jewelry chest containing her grandmother’s jewelry, which had more sentimental than monetary value. Fortunately, the thief did not know about the weird (and illegal) front door that could not be opened from the inside unless you had a key. He was unable to get her new TV out through the window he had broken to get in. He also did not notice the little ordinary looking box that contained her valuable jewelry, including a set of diamond earrings. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/33 "2005-11-11T03:19:32Z")
[QUOTE=Monty] [list=a][li]Isn’t it an offense to make a false statement to the police or to make a false police report?[/li][li]Can’t the alarm company refuse to provide services to the OP’s employer if it’s determined/discovered that the employer or one of its agents was doing somethign nefarious (such as making false statements regarding a criminal act on the premises)?[/li][li]Can’t the employer can the OP for making false statements to the employer?[/list][/li][/QUOTE] I’m not sure where you’re getting the “false statement” part. I’m thinking it probably went something like this: **Seven** : Some guy tried to steal the video projector. He dropped it when I chased him out of the building and he left some of his stuff behind. **Cops** : What did he look like?/Is anything else missing or damaged?/Were the doors locked?/What time did this happen? I kinda doubt they’d be asking “So did you take any of his stuff? Was it cool??” It’s just not one of the things you’d naturally think of in an attempted robbery of a business where nothing was actually stolen or damaged. So unless he was actually asked a question about it, he’s guilty of the heinous offenses of petty theft and not telling the police everything. I’m finding it pretty hard to get all worked up about this. / elfbabe, who turned in $10 she found on the bus today. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/34 "2005-11-11T03:33:10Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Probably not. Anything of value would quite likely end up in the possession of a cop. This happens more often than not IME. May I inquire as to that experience, because those I know in law enforcement have a very different one. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/35 "2005-11-11T03:38:56Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’m not familiar with the term “morally de minimis.” Are you familiar with the term “[de minimis](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=de+minimis)”? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/36 "2005-11-11T04:02:30Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > May I inquire as to that experience, because those I know in law enforcement have a very different one. I work part-time in LE. My dad was a cop. So was my aunt. I know cops from many agencies and different states. I know what I’ve seen with my own eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/37 "2005-11-11T04:25:09Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > I’m not sure where you’re getting the “false statement” part. I’m thinking it probably went something like this: > **Seven** : Some guy tried to steal the video projector. He dropped it when I chased him out of the building and he left some of his stuff behind. > **Cops** : What did he look like?/Is anything else missing or damaged?/Were the doors locked?/What time did this happen? > > I kinda doubt they’d be asking “So did you take any of his stuff? Was it cool??” It’s just not one of the things you’d naturally think of in an attempted robbery of a business where nothing was actually stolen or damaged. So unless he was actually asked a question about it, he’s guilty of the heinous offenses of petty theft and not telling the police everything. I’m finding it pretty hard to get all worked up about this. > > / elfbabe, who turned in $10 she found on the bus today. The officer might have asked him (or \*\*Seven \*\* might have volunteered) what the guy dropped. I doubt a claim like this would ever result in prosecution, but he was at least deceptive in turning over the stuff \*sans \* the light. I don’t really give a crap about that. I guess here is where I start to worry. This junkie tries to take a bunch of stuff from your business, and drops a bag of goodies as he flees. Do you suppose your company is the only victim of his thefts? Is it possible that the backpack and its contents belonged to someone before the shitheel? Maybe that crime was violent, even. So now you are stealing not from a junkie, but from some innocent party. And maybe you are concealing evidence of a violent felony. Or maybe not. Probably not. Maybe this is a stretch. I wasn’t there, and I don’t have all of the facts. I’m just saying it’s possible. I’m not gonna get worked up about it either, for the record. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/38 "2005-11-11T08:07:57Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > …I’m finding it pretty hard to get all worked up about this. But this is the pit Elfbabe. The often, over PC, very moral pit. If I had left out the part about the flashlight (which my employer knows about and thought was pretty funny) then someone would be reaming me for using my outdoor voice inside. I would have gone something like this. Me: So I yelled at him. Super Moral Pitster: You yelled at him? But he’s a meth user. his heart could be all dodgy. Me: But he was trying to take my shit. SMP: You asshole. You could have killed him. Not to mention how you forced him to run down the stairs. You should have offered to carry the projector down for him. Me: But it’s OUR projector. SMP: By the way. I resent you calling him a junkie. He’s suffering from a broken home or flat feet. He can’t help the way he is. You should have let him take the projector. Because of his condition I bet he doesn’t have a job and this is his only way to put money in his pocket. You selfish asshole. I hope you feel good about yourself. Heh heh. That’s half the fun of posting in the pit. It’s fun to guess what minor point someone is going to make a big deal of. Look at this thread. A junkie tries to steal a $1000+ machine ()from us to feed an illegal drug habit. As he is being chased because of this crime, he throws his bag away. By stopping this crime against my company I took drugs off the street and bolt cutters away from a theif. This guy commited several crimes. Drug possesion, trespassing, theft (which might fall under a felony because of the amount of the unit) and perhaps a breaking/entering type charge. People are more than happy to ignore those points to drag me over the coals about a $6 flashlight HE LEFT BEHIND. I’m the criminal, not him. His jacket was worth more then the flashlight. If that was all he left behind and I reported in this thread I tossed it in the trash, I bet no one would say anything. I take that back. I bet someone would thrash me for not donating it. It’s just the false outrage the media has taught people to buy into. It’s just like Janet Jacksons nipple. No one REALLY gives a shit, but they pretend they do to feel better about their own shortcomings. Or something like that. At this point this junkie owes us (myself, the company and society) more than a $6 flashlight. He owes us a day in court, and if conviceted, time in jail. I consider the minimag a $6 down payment. But like I said. If he’s willing to come back and ask for his stuff I’ll be more than happy to return his minimag to him. ---
**Author:** ![PinkShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/76d3ee/32.png) [@PinkShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/39 "2005-11-11T09:44:43Z")
> [@Anne Neville](#): > > Because of them, when I want to buy Sudafed (read: be able to breathe through my nose at all), I have to go to the pharmacy counter and wait in line, rather than just getting it off the shelf like I used to. Wouldn’t you have to wait in line anyway to pay for the Sudafed? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375/40 "2005-11-11T10:03:52Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Are you familiar with the term “[de minimis](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=de+minimis)”? 🙂 This reminds me of a piece of legendary court dialogue that runs approximately: Judge (heavily): May I enquire whether your client is familiar with the principle of _de minimis non curat lex_? Counsel (urbanely): I am assured, Your Lordship, that, in the remote and inhospitable village where my client lives, it forms the sole topic of conversation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-junkies-long-ish/330375.md?page=3)