# Fucking lawn mowing at 10 AM cocksucker! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 22, 2000, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462 "2000-07-22T13:31:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/1 "2000-07-22T13:31:20Z")
Its Saturday… Its a hot day, the windows are all open, its almost 10 AM, and I hear it… the distinctive rumble of a lawn mower. I try to ignore it, I doze back off. And then he starts doing around his shed (next to my bedroom window) rrrrrrrrrr-chuka-chucka-chucka-chucka-rrrrrrrrr GET A FUCKING WEED WACKER YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!! So he just keeps ramming the stupid mower against the shed, trying to get all the grass, when clearly you cant with a mower, and I give up. Now its 10:30, I am WAY FUCKING BITCHY and I am still tired. (this is the same son of a whore that let his car alarm go off for an hour early this summer - at 9 am on a Saturday morning!) Fucking neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![JBurton99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ea5d25/32.png) [@JBurton99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBurton99)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/2 "2000-07-22T13:35:47Z")
Sounds like it’s time for a well placed landmine or two. Here dickface, mow that little spot right over there. Don’t worry about that little lump, it’s just a tree root. BOOM!!! ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/3 "2000-07-22T13:50:26Z")
Ahhhhhhhh… Thanks for the image! I can stop beating the children/kicking the cat now, and calmly fantasize about land mines… Mmmmmm…landmines… ---
**Author:** ![JBurton99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ea5d25/32.png) [@JBurton99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBurton99)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/4 "2000-07-22T13:53:28Z")
Anytime Kelli, glad to be of service. Now why would you want to stop beating the kids and cat? That’s always fun too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sneevil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@Sneevil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sneevil)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/5 "2000-07-22T14:56:01Z")
10 am seems awful late for you to be sleeping. Could it be you were keeping this guy awake at 2 am with loud hip-hop music? ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/6 "2000-07-22T15:11:27Z")
Oh, now _thats_ funny!! I dont play loud music - how could I? It would wake the kids. I dont think 10 is that late to sleep - its Saturday for petes sake! And he could have started in the FRONT… but Nooooooo, he has to start by the back, where the bedrooms are… Where the hell did the cat go? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/7 "2000-07-22T15:40:04Z")
Yeah, 10:00AM is way too late to be sleeping. Get up, go over and help the neighbor do his yard work. Take the kids and make them pull weeds or something. Get outside and grab some fresh air. Do something useful. Are you going to waste your entire life, lounging around in bed all day? How about your kids? Who is watching your kids? How do you know what they are up to? Show some interest. Take your mother shopping. Go shopping yourself. Buy me a present, why don’t you? Get the hell out of that damn bed and _carpe the fucking diem_. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/8 "2000-07-22T15:45:47Z")
I carpeid the fucking diem last night till nearly 2 am! I get up every stinking day at the crack of dawn - I want to sleep in one day - just one bloddy day! Almost every single weekend, I have had the kids out camping (up at dawn), and I pulled a muscle in my back last week, so I havnt slept too much all week. Why not wait an hour? Why not show your neighbor a little respect? I should have sent the kids over to help though… that woulda been pretty funny! ---
**Author:** ![Sneevil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@Sneevil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sneevil)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/9 "2000-07-22T16:00:55Z")
Actually, kelli, I know what you mean. I used to live in a place where the next door neighbor would stand outside every morning and smoke and cough. Sounded like he was about to lose a lung. Now I’m in a place where the neighbor across the way shouts obscenities every night-but he always cuts it off at 10:00 pm (thoughtful?). I’d like to move to the country–btw, what time do the squirrels get up and start cracking nuts? ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/10 "2000-07-22T16:01:00Z")
I feel your pain. For me it our children’s friends who think its perfectly acceptable to come knocking on our door at 7am, not even our kids are up that early. You shouldn’t go postal on kids who do this but shit happens. They don’t do this as much as they used to. Your neighbour may think that he is being considerate by waiting until 10am to mow his lawn but since you are probably wishing him bodily harm right now and it took you away from the all important parental responsibilities such as beating your kids, I would suggest that you go and have a talk with Mr. Motherfucker. After that you can get back to flogging the cat. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/11 "2000-07-22T16:14:11Z")
You should be thanking your lucky stars that you don’t live next to me. It is just now 10:00 a.m. and I had my lawn mowed an hour ago. I didn’t get home from a date until 3:00 a.m. (a blind date and worthy of it’s own thread - the guy is GREAT! I’m in LUST! I’m in LOVE! I’m willing to have his children!!!). I have a huge yard, it is supposed to hit 100 F before noon, and I have plans later this evening. I am not sure, but I think most of my other neighbors were out as well. At least I hope so. I really need a nap and I damn well don’t want to be woke up at noon by a late straggler. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/12 "2000-07-22T16:44:06Z")
**Kelli baby,** what was going on till 2:00AM? Come on, you can tell us, we won’t spread it around, right guys? So who were you carpeing(sp?)? And how did you pull the muscle in your back, hmmm? More carpeing? Huh? Huh? What’s going on in the Great White North? Old guys in Florida don’t have much fun. ---
**Author:** ![PRISM02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@PRISM02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PRISM02)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/13 "2000-07-22T17:08:26Z")
_DIANE_ Go ahead, tell him you want to have his children - and watch him leave skid marks out of the door. In my last domicile, I resided on ‘happy street,’ where every Saturday _the men_ got up at the crack 'o dawn, fired up their lawn mowers/tractors/manglers/shredders and proceeded to cut the grass. From there they fired up those damn weed eaters and beat the crap out of any surviving blades of grass. Afterwards, during the time grumpy, baggy eyed, me had finally given up on attempting to sleep and was looking for my shotgun, they brought out those nightmare creations – the yard blowers and fire them up. That caused me to writhe in agony upon my carpet and vow to attend the next city council meeting with a lengthy diatribe concerning noise laws. By the time merciful silence falls, I was consuming aspirin and whisky. My lawn was pleasantly shaggy, a little weedy and I had a lawn guy who showed up **ONCE** a month in the afternoon to give it a trim. (My neighbors hated me.) They were not through with me yet. It was a Saturday after all. After a respite designed cleverly to let me drift almost back to sleep, all up and down the street, out came the **tools**! It was time to tinker! Boat motors roared, car engines rumbled, ATV power plants snarled and motor cycles whined!! I often wonder if they knew it was me who, as I moved, wrote nasty words in their lawns with a sprayer full of iron and high nitrogen fertilizer in the dark of the night? ---
**Author:** ![ubermensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bcef8e/32.png) [@ubermensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ubermensch)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/14 "2000-07-22T18:52:23Z")
i think your neighbor might be me… i work third shift on the weekends, and there’s nothing i like to do more than mow my lawn at 7 or 8 am on saturday mornings, for the sole reason of pissing off my neighbors. the air is much cooler then, no direct sun, and so on…but really, the only reason i do it is to piss people off… ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/15 "2000-07-22T19:09:35Z")
If you want to slay your evil neighbors, a landmine is no good. The mower will set it off before the neighbour steps over it, and the mower will take most of the blast. The neighbour may not be seriously injured. I would suggest a claymore bomb, which is a mine-like explosive full of little ball bearings that can be affixed to a vertical surface and set off with a tripwire. Set it on a tree he mows by and trail the tripwire loosely on the ground. The mower blade will catch the tripwire, setting off the claymore and blowing your neighbour to giblets. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/16 "2000-07-22T19:47:16Z")
Sorry, Kelli, but it’s hard for me to have sympathy for you. Even on my days off, 7:30 is late for me to get up. Try 6:00 am this morning. I see nothing wrong with your neighbor mowing his lawn at 10:00 in the morning. I had my breakfast, got a haircut, returned two videotapes to the library, put gas in the car, and made a withdrawal from the ATM all before 10 today. The weekend is the only time some people have to do errands and work around the house. And not every weekend, since some people, myself included, work some Saturdays. Just cause you stayed up too late last night is no reason to expect everyone else to conform to your schedule. Cut the guy some slack. ---
**Author:** ![tubagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@tubagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tubagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/17 "2000-07-22T20:21:22Z")
Oh yeah, Well I work a late shift and get to bed at 2-3 every night. But the workment at my apt complex decided to shave a tree today at 8:30!!! I come out of the apt. to walk the dog and the tree is wading in 5 feet of braches. So much for the shade I always likes grumble grumble. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/18 "2000-07-22T20:27:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Go ahead, tell him you want to have his children - and watch him leave skid marks out of the door. Trust me, the only way I could wind up pregnant is if I re-grow my uterus, however, I am always willing to try. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/19 "2000-07-22T20:45:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diane \* > \*\*(a blind date and worthy of it’s own thread - the guy is GREAT! I’m in LUST! I’m in LOVE! I’m willing to have his children!!!). > \*\* Is **Diane** the most amazing woman in the world, or what? Not only does she give up the huge earnings potential of modeling to work with disabled veterans, she dates blind guys! :: d&r :: ---
**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462/20 "2000-07-22T20:54:08Z")
I have to agree with those who said 10:00 is fine for lawn mowing. I mean, Kelli, yes, I understand that you want to sleep late, but that doesn’t mean that all your neighbors must abide by your schedule. Personally, I refuse to mow my lawn before 10:00 on a weekend, as I do want to have consideration for the neighbors. But if I plan to do it, I’ll be out there right about 10 to get it done before the heat of the day. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-lawn-mowing-at-10-am-cocksucker/26462.md?page=2)