# Fucking News Managers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958 "2012-08-19T14:13:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bouncer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@Bouncer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bouncer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/21 "2012-08-19T20:23:52Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > It’s a publicity stunt for a floating museum. Color me unimpressed. You sir, are absolutely wrong. As a person who deals with the Navy on a daily basis, I can tell you that this is a sea trial for when this whole “steam powered nonsense” doesn’t work out. Not that the Navy is slow to embrace new technology or anything… Regards, -Bouncer- ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/22 "2012-08-19T20:49:41Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > The navies of both Canand the USA are sending out ships on tour as part of the bi-centenial commemoration of the War of 1812-1813. > > The brief sailing of the USS Constitution is a nice event. Pity it is only sailing for ten minutes, but I understand why the do not want to put it at risk. > > I look forward to the vid. If there’s not enough wind, they’ll put a giant fan on the stern to push the sail. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/23 "2012-08-19T21:13:39Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > If there’s not enough wind, they’ll put a giant fan on the stern to push the sail. A true fantail. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/24 "2012-08-19T21:26:05Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > If there’s not enough wind, they’ll put a giant fan on the stern to push the sail. Think about it. That’s not going to work. They’ll have to douse the sails and reverse the fan. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/25 "2012-08-19T22:15:39Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > Think about it. That’s not going to work. They’ll have to douse the sails and reverse the fan. Reverse the fan? That’ll send them back through time! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/26 "2012-08-20T03:27:13Z")
…to when people cared about sails? Brings us nicely back to the OP, really. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/27 "2012-08-20T03:43:35Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > …to when people cared about sails? Brings us nicely back to the OP, really. Well, if they traveled back in time but could keep their synthetic sailcloth, they’d have a huge advantage over contemporary vessels. Y’know… _The Vinyl Countdown_. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/28 "2012-08-20T13:58:26Z")
You know, maybe firing squads _do_ have their uses. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/29 "2012-08-20T15:28:19Z")
Now that the event has actually occurred: > **[USS Constitution sails to mark 1812 battle that earned it 'Old Ironsides'...](https://www.foxnews.com/tech/uss-constitution-sails-to-mark-1812-battle-that-earned-it-old-ironsides-nickname)** > > The U.S. Navy's oldest commissioned warship will sailed under its own power for just the second time in more than a century to commemorate the battle that won it the nickname "Old Ironsides." [http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gJ3VMKumgUMG-k-\_xXF9B\_QlUm0w?docId=1e420408162e4408ba52255b6be92523](http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gJ3VMKumgUMG-k-_xXF9B_QlUm0w?docId=1e420408162e4408ba52255b6be92523) > **[Photo: Latest Compelling Image Galleries. Photos & More - NBC News](https://www.nbcnews.com/photos)** > > Find photo galleries with beautiful, provoking images on latest news stories on NBCNews.com. Read headlines with photos covering natural disasters, world news, culture, and more. And Google lists 447 stories in response to “USS Constitution sails.” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/30 "2012-08-20T16:34:57Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > A Warship owned by the US gov’t sailing to commemorate a famous battle doesn’t have anything to do with death, destruction war or politics? This. The USS _Constitution_ was a total badass in her day – a near-perfect balance of conflicting military design objectives. She was strong enough to overpower anything that could match her speed, and fast enough to evade anything stronger. A beautiful piece of woodwork, but unequivocally an engine of war. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/31 "2012-08-20T16:56:23Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Well, if they traveled back in time but could keep their synthetic sailcloth, they’d have a huge advantage over contemporary vessels. > > Y’know… _The Vinyl Countdown_. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/32 "2012-08-20T17:57:08Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Now that the event has actually occurred: > > [http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2012/08/19/us-navy-oldest-commissioned-warship-to-sail-to-commemorate-battle/](http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2012/08/19/us-navy-oldest-commissioned-warship-to-sail-to-commemorate-battle/) > [http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gJ3VMKumgUMG-k-\_xXF9B\_QlUm0w?docId=1e420408162e4408ba52255b6be92523](http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gJ3VMKumgUMG-k-_xXF9B_QlUm0w?docId=1e420408162e4408ba52255b6be92523) > [Photo: Latest Compelling Image Galleries. Photos & More - NBC News | NBC News](http://photoblog.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/19/13368356-uss-constitution-sets-sail-again-in-boston-harbor) > > And Google lists 447 stories in response to “USS Constitution sails.” So, yeah, what was this pitting about again? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/33 "2012-08-20T18:00:11Z")
Time to change gears and pit news managers for showing so much video of the USS Consititution being pushed by a tug and so little of it under sail. Although I have to admit, that even then I can’t work up much of an eleventy rage. If truth be told, I enjoyed the vids of it out on the water. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/34 "2012-08-20T18:06:50Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Is it being crewed by C-List celebrities who may get kicked off? Kicked off into the ocean? I would totally watch that show. “Kathy Griffin, you will now walk the plank…” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/35 "2012-08-20T22:35:17Z")
Not bad, but I’m holding out for _Katapulting the Kardashians_. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/36 "2012-08-20T22:43:01Z")
I would watch _Walk the Plank_ ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/37 "2012-08-20T22:43:02Z")
> [@fumster](#): > > If they can make watching cars turn left for 500 miles interesting then this would have been a cinch. People don’t watch races to see cars turning left, they watch in hopes of seeing a big, fiery crash. Which makes me wonder why more people didn’t watch the landing. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958/38 "2012-08-20T23:17:58Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > People don’t watch races to see cars turning left, they watch in hopes of seeing a big, fiery crash. Which makes me wonder why more people didn’t watch the landing. That should have landed it on a Nascar track. Or crowd. Whatever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-news-managers/631958.md?page=1)