# Fucking people who walk 90% of my speed. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 6, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419 "2004-11-06T23:30:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/21 "2004-11-07T05:34:36Z")
A guy I work with walks really fast. He was sued by a motorcyclist that he ran into while crossing the road. He had to pay all the repairs and medical bills out of his own pocket - who has pedestrian insurance. For the comfort of the majority I think all shopping centres should have moving walkways at their doors. The walkway should travel away from the doors at slightly less than walking pace. If you can’t walk faster than the walkway carries you away from the doors, you can’t get in. The snipers with rubber bullets will take care of other pedestrian transgressions - stopping to talk at the top/bottom of stairs/escalators, leaving insufficient gaps between friends, veering, sudden stopping etc. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/22 "2004-11-07T06:49:37Z")
My beloved husband is one of those people, God love him. He walks justalittlebit slower than I do. I’m all right with it most of the time, since I just slow down. But on the stairs…he gets even slower. And I tend to sprint up them. I always seem to be about three nanoseconds from crashing right the fuck into him, and it’s not as though he has any REASON to walk slowly, and he’s ALWAYS in front of me! Grrr… ---
**Author:** ![Nightime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nightime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightime)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/23 "2004-11-07T07:05:04Z")
I’ve given up on the stairs. At this point, I just wait until the person in front of me reaches the top, and then sprint up. Then repeat for more flights. The only exception is when there are also people behind me, in which case I start to feel very claustrophobic and boxed in, and it is sheer torture walking slowly up the stairs. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/24 "2004-11-07T08:32:29Z")
People who walk slow and people who stop for communion in the fucking middle of the footpath… And families/girlfriends who all hold hands so you can’t get past. Oh, yeah, I wanna kill them all. Getouttamywayfuckers. Slow me down and you will incur my huffing wrath. Thankyou. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/25 "2004-11-07T08:57:40Z")
Does this happen to you guys? I swear it happens to me all the time. I’m walking down the sidewalk, and another person is, say, half a block in front of me, walking in the same direction. The other person stops for whatever reason, let’s say to buy a newspaper. As I catch up to the stopped person, and am about to pass him, he picks that _exact moment_ to continue walking again, stepping directly in front of me and blocking my path. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/26 "2004-11-07T13:46:32Z")
Damned Straight. Also, sometimes, these slow people gang up, and walk in a line that fills up the entire sidewalk. I also hate it when you’re shopping, so you stand some distance away from the shelves while you’re looking for what you want so other people can come get what they want, and there’s always one fucker who pulls up their trolley right in front of you so you can’t see a fucking thing! ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/27 "2004-11-07T14:27:50Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > All I can say is, I really, really wish I had your problems. I don’t get this little snide remark. As if you have real problems that the OP does not. This was simply a mini rant. I seriously doubt the OP goes about his day dwelling on this little pet peeve. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/28 "2004-11-07T16:46:22Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > Never heard of the words, “excuse me?” Sidewalks in your part of the world are only wide enough for one person? Sometimes they get narrow, especiially if there are parked cars and trees and trash cans and stuff. It’s got to be at least wide enough for two people to pass. And don’t forget oncomming pedestrians. If I’m trying to pass and someone comes down the other side, all of a sudden we are in a game of chicken. > [@Nightime](#): > > Remember that his rant is not about people who walk slow, but people who walk 90% of your speed. > > It is no problem passing slow people, but passing people who are almost as fast as you is a problem. EXACTLY! If no one changes speed, you have this awkward ten minutes or so of walking next to a complete stranger. “hey…what’s up…I’m just going to walk here for awhile”. And if I pass the person like I’m in hurry and all of a sudden go back to normal speed, they KNOW I was just passing them. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/29 "2004-11-07T17:41:51Z")
“Also, sometimes, these slow people gang up, and walk in a line that fills up the entire sidewalk.” Something about that just sounds funny, like the old Python skit about roving gangs of old people. Then again, the title of the thread is funny too. It would be awful difficult to fuck someone walking faster. If they walk at 90 percent of your speed, at least you have a chance to catch up and “couple”. Just like a couple of locomotives? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/30 "2004-11-07T18:02:03Z")
**Lobsang:** _This is going to be a fun new way to evaluate the 5 minute walk through town that sends me into a murderous rage every day._ Mercy me, I’ve heard of road rage, but sidewalk rage is a new one. Have you tried switching to decaf? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/31 "2004-11-08T00:37:05Z")
This would’ve made a good Seinfeld episode… I can picture it now. Jerry (agitated voice): “I don’t know if I can stay in this relationship!” George (while eating some chips on the couch): “What’s the problem?” Jerry: “She’s a _slow walker_.” ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/32 "2004-11-08T00:46:14Z")
I don’t mind the slow walkers. It’s the near pissers that get me. You know what I mean, guys. You’re alone in the men’s room, entire wall of urinals, you take the first one cause you’re lazy and why not. Another guy comes in. But instead of taking a pisser down the wall a bit, he takes the second one, right next to you. Then he starts whistling. Just one of these days when that happens I swear I’m gonna turn around and shout at the top of my lungs, “Hey, buddy, take a hike, you’re fucking freaking me out here!” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/33 "2004-11-08T01:06:39Z")
\*\*Fucking people who walk 90% of my speed. \*\* Analysys of the space-time relationships involved suggests that fucking people who are walking 90% of your speed should be easier than fucking people who are walking 110% of your speed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/34 "2004-11-08T01:30:23Z")
Just from the title of the OP I can say fuckin A! I’m always in a rush, and these people drive me batty. I’m working on a “people wedge”, two pieces of plexiglass at at angle with handles on the back that I can use like a human cow catcher. I’ll let you know how it goes. Hmmm, I can sell ad space on it as well. ---
**Author:** ![TonyF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@TonyF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonyF)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/35 "2004-11-08T01:49:29Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Another guy comes in. But instead of taking a pisser down the wall a bit, he takes the second one, right next to you. Happens to me a lot. Once, a classmate did this, so I stare at the wall thinking “Why don’t you give me some personal space…” when he asks “HEY! Whatcha looking at?!” Asshole! As for the OP - amen. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/36 "2004-11-08T06:41:50Z")
Ever go in the men’s room and have another guy act suspiciously, and then wonder whether he’s just weird, or if he’s propositioning you? ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/37 "2004-11-08T07:01:50Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Ever go in the men’s room and have another guy act suspiciously, and then wonder whether he’s just weird, or if he’s propositioning you? Erm… no. What’s even worse than the slightly-slower-walker, is the slightly-slower-walker-that-you-happen-to-know-but-not-very-well. You know the guy, but you have nothing in common and don’t particularly want to talk to him. If you pass, you are forced to say hello, then if you carry on, you look rude. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/38 "2004-11-08T13:13:38Z")
My interpretation of the rant wasn’t a criticism of the person in front, since we’re all that person half the time, but a vent at the frustration of not being quite sure what to do. Someone who’s blocking yuor way has an obvious fix: stand to one side, but someone walking doesn’t, and if there’s nothing they can do it’s not their fault. It could have come equally well from the other side. The frustration isn’t someone walking slowly, but just slightly slower, because you have to chase them to say “excuse me” ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/39 "2004-11-08T13:28:04Z")
To the OP: although some people in this thread seem to have misunderstood you, I understand you COMPLETELY. I have a couple add-ons. ONE: It’s almost worse when you’re jogging. Well, you need to pass them, but you don’t know if maybe they’re just warming up, so they’ll be passing you again. So, you look like you were “competing” and now they trounced you. Also, if you do the “passing gear” manouver, which can work for walking, it can bite you on the ass if you used up too much energy, and pretty soon you’re going 90% of the speed of the guy you just passed. TWO: When you’re going somewhere in particular, like a coffee shop. You need to make an assessment of whether it’s worth the discomfort to actually make the pass, or just stay behind until you get where you’re going. Invariably, if you make the pass, they come in right behind you. Sometimes so close that you need to hold the door for them. Now, who gets in line first? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419/40 "2004-11-08T13:43:15Z")
Oooh! how about this one; person walking towards you, but with their head turned, talking to someone (more or less) behind them; no matter which way you go to avoid them, they just seem to wander towards you and it will somehow be YOUR fault when a collision occurs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-people-who-walk-90-of-my-speed/273419.md?page=3)