# Fucking ping-pong tables and the fucking fucks who fuck with them **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 20, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716 "2008-11-20T21:15:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/1 "2008-11-20T21:15:22Z")
Dear titular fucking-fucks, You may not have noticed, but we only have one microwave here at the office. And that one microwave happens to be about 6 inches from the titular fucking ping pong table which you titular fucking fucks are too fucking stupid to stop fucking around with! Is there some compelling reason you can’t fucking stop playing ping pong for the two fucking minutes it take me to warm up a bowl of soup?! You think I fucking like getting hit in the fucking head with a fucking ping-pong ball?? Maybe you’d like me to whack you in the face with my balls for a few minutes, eh? And shouldn’t you be fucking working? Who the fuck plays ping pong at fucking work? What the fuck year do you think it is, 19 fucking 97? You mean to tell me with unemployment at a 16 year high, one week after a layoff, the company is still fucking paying you to fucking play fucking ping pong? Jesus Fucking Christ! In short, get fucked! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/2 "2008-11-20T21:21:05Z")
I would but that middle crease is SCARY, man! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/3 "2008-11-20T21:23:17Z")
You have a ping pong table at work? Sweet! All we got was a lousy foosball game. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/4 "2008-11-20T21:24:04Z")
You have a ping-pong table in the office? I really think you should stop whining. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/5 "2008-11-20T21:24:26Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > You have a ping pong table at work? Sweet! All we got was a lousy foosball game. The campus I work on has a volleyball court, ping pong table and life size chess set. It’s pretty sweet. ---
**Author:** ![xanthous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/53a042/32.png) [@xanthous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanthous)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/6 "2008-11-20T21:24:40Z")
We don’t have shit but a microwave. You all suck. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/7 "2008-11-20T21:28:16Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > You have a ping-pong table in the office? > > I really think you should stop whining. This bears repeating. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/8 "2008-11-20T21:29:13Z")
Your biggest problem at work is getting hit with a fucking ping pong ball? An actual ping pong ball? That weighs like a gram or two? You are a fucking pussy. And I want your fucking life. Getting hit in the head with a ping pong ball is a fucking wet dream compared to my work problems. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/9 "2008-11-20T21:32:51Z")
You have soup? I want soup. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/10 "2008-11-20T21:34:00Z")
> [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](#): > > Your biggest problem at work is getting hit with a fucking ping pong ball? An actual ping pong ball? That weighs like a gram or two? > > You are a fucking pussy. > > And I want your fucking life. Getting hit in the head with a ping pong ball is a fucking wet dream compared to my work problems. Only if you can get nailed while you are warming up a tasty meal, like cup-o-soup. Cup-o-soup, how I pine for you. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/11 "2008-11-20T21:42:15Z")
You got hit in the back of the head with a ping pong ball? :eek: Poor baby! Did it require stitches? So let’s get this straight. You’re ragging on these people for not working while you’re …not working. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/12 "2008-11-20T21:48:37Z")
We have an air hockey table. Blood drawn is not out of the norm. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/13 "2008-11-20T21:56:18Z")
Well, you could always “accidentally” splash them with your soup, I guess. (As for the ping-pong and air-hockey, I have you all beat-WE have a combination trampoline/bungee jump.) ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/14 "2008-11-20T22:01:51Z")
> [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](#): > > Your biggest problem at work is getting hit with a fucking ping pong ball No. That is not my biggest problem. It’s just rude, inconsiderate, and really easy to rant about. > [@BubbaDog](#): > > So let’s get this straight. You’re ragging on these people for not working while you’re …not working. No, I’m ragging on them for lobbing ping pong balls at my head while I’m hurrying to scurry back to my dank little cave to continue staring at this monitor and answering inane questions. Not **your** inane questions. That’s just a hobby. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/15 "2008-11-20T22:07:32Z")
It’s pretty bull shit to be hitting people with ping pong balls when they’re heating up food, and some of that is hot liquids. Cut the table in half lengthwise so there is more space between. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/16 "2008-11-20T22:08:21Z")
Not enough “fuck” in the thread title for me. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/17 "2008-11-20T22:25:40Z")
Move the microwave. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/18 "2008-11-20T22:33:43Z")
> [@Earthworm\_Jim](#): > > Dear **titular** fucking-fucks, > > You may not have noticed, but we only have one microwave here at the office. And that one microwave happens to be about 6 inches from the **titular** fucking ping pong table which you **titular** fucking fucks are too fucking stupid to stop fucking around with! I do not think this means what you think it means. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/19 "2008-11-20T22:40:57Z")
> [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](#): > > Your biggest problem at work is getting hit with a fucking ping pong ball? An actual ping pong ball? That weighs like a gram or two? And travels at an average speed of [54.5658 MPH](http://www.jayandwanda.com/tt/speed.html). ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/20 "2008-11-20T22:42:07Z")
Now I can’t get the thought/image of a ping-pong ball landing -splash!- in the soup, out of my head. Thank you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716.md?page=2)