# Fucking ping-pong tables and the fucking fucks who fuck with them **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 20, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716 "2008-11-20T21:15:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/21 "2008-11-20T22:46:04Z")
FTR, the ping pong area at work routinely gets massive holes in the drywall from people playing full contact ping pong. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/22 "2008-11-20T22:46:42Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > I do not think this means what you think it means. Does it not? [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/titular](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/titular) \*\* titular adjective ā€¦ 3. of or pertaining to the title of a work of art; ā€œperformed well in the titular (or title) roleā€; ā€œthe titular theme of the bookā€ ā€¦ \*\* Now granted, you can argue the thread has a **subject** rather than a **title** , but I think thatā€™s splitting hairs. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/23 "2008-11-20T23:35:25Z")
> [@Earthworm\_Jim](#): > > No, Iā€™m ragging on them for lobbing ping pong balls at my head while Iā€™m hurrying to scurry back to my dank little cave to continue staring at this monitor and answering inane questions. You say dank little cave like itā€™s a bad thing, earthworm boy! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/24 "2008-11-20T23:56:54Z")
I, for one, would love to see a sentence diagram of that title. And one of the things I absolutely love about this place is that I know for a fact someone will post one shortly. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/25 "2008-11-21T00:00:00Z")
> [@xanthous](#): > > We donā€™t have shit but a microwave. You all suck. We have shit \*in \*the microwave. ā˜¹ ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/26 "2008-11-21T01:12:52Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > I, for one, would love to see a sentence diagram of that title. > > And one of the things I absolutely love about this place is that I know for a fact someone will post one shortly. Hah! Nobody did one in an hour! ---
**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/27 "2008-11-21T01:52:44Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > I, for one, would love to see a sentence diagram of that title. > > And one of the things I absolutely love about this place is that I know for a fact someone will post one shortly. Ask and ye shall receive: [A product of a product of our nationā€™s public school system](http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y80/smillachan/00Straightdope/straightdope_diagram.jpg) Please bear with me: I havenā€™t diagrammed a sentence since 4th grade. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/28 "2008-11-21T02:06:55Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > The campus I work on has a volleyball court, ping pong table and life size chess set. Itā€™s pretty sweet. What size are chess pieces in the wild? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/29 "2008-11-21T02:08:13Z")
What the fuck is a sentence diagram? ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/30 "2008-11-21T02:53:32Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > What the fuck is a sentence diagram? Itā€™s one of those ways to achieve orgasm by reassuring yourself youā€™re smarter than all of those other fuckers who can speak English competently. ---
**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/31 "2008-11-21T03:04:26Z")
Yeah, itā€™s totally elitist and shit. Also, because the power of Mrs. Elementary School English Teacher compels me, I have to point out that the thread title isnā€™t actually a sentence, what with not having a verb and all. ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/32 "2008-11-21T03:35:12Z")
Thread titles need to be sentences? Who knew? Ah hell - I never learned to diagram sentences in the way thatā€™s been demonstrated here. I did use marks to call attention to NP, VP, AdvP and so on, but that little tree thing is alien to me. Oh well. I always knew I was an illiterate cretin. ---
**Author:** ![laughingboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@laughingboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laughingboy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/33 "2008-11-21T03:50:18Z")
> [@Earthworm\_Jim](#): > > Iā€™m ragging on them for lobbing ping pong balls at my head I suspect theyā€™re lobbing ping pong balls **near** your head. If theyā€™re actually lobbing ping pong balls **at** your head, you have bigger problems to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/34 "2008-11-21T03:56:31Z")
> [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](#): > > Yeah, itā€™s totally elitist and shit. > > Also, because the power of Mrs. Elementary School English Teacher compels me, I have to point out that the thread title isnā€™t actually a sentence, what with not having a verb and all. Actually, I think that the last ā€œfuckā€ in the title is a verb. I never learned to diagram sentences. My eighth grade English teacher told us it was useless. I feel so unhip now. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/35 "2008-11-21T04:01:27Z")
Kudos to you for not bowing to silly pressure to not swear in the title on an adult message board. I think the mods should add extra ā€œfucksā€ to all the titles that donā€™t have swears in them, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/36 "2008-11-21T04:08:22Z")
> [@laughingboy](#): > > If theyā€™re actually lobbing ping pong balls **at** your head, you have bigger problems to worry about. True. That would mean his coworkers either donā€™t know or donā€™t follow the rules of table tennis! Problems donā€™t get much bigger than that. ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/37 "2008-11-21T04:09:16Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > Actually, I think that the last ā€œfuckā€ in the title is a verb. > > I never learned to diagram sentences. My eighth grade English teacher told us it was useless. I feel so unhip now. Well, Iā€™d say the entire thread title is a noun phrase, even though the last ā€œfuckā€ is used as a verb. If it were ā€œI intend to kill the fucking fucks who fuck with the fucking ping-pong tablesā€ Iā€™d see it as a sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/38 "2008-11-21T06:50:01Z")
I think I have to agree that there are too few ā€œfucksā€ in the title. I wouldā€™ve maybe gone with ā€œFucking ping-pong fucking tables and the fucking fucks who fuck with them fuckers.ā€ šŸ™‚ We have a ping-pong table and a pool table in our lunch room, but neither are anywhere near the microwave. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/39 "2008-11-21T06:51:28Z")
Jim and I just had a five minute discussion over this, and concluded that the title is fine for a title, but it is not a sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716/40 "2008-11-21T13:46:48Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Kudos to you for not bowing to silly pressure to not swear in the title on an adult message board. I think the mods should add extra ā€œfucksā€ to all the titles that donā€™t have swears in them, in fact. The surgical precision of ā€˜witā€™ and ā€˜charmā€™ are, sadly, beyond my ability. Poor fine-motor skills. So I have to settle for the whackin-stick of profanity. Besides, sometimes giving in to that adolescent need to type bad words as anonymously as possible is just so fulfilling. Oh, sweet sweet ā€œfuckā€, what would I have done without you?! Youā€™re my favorite of the four-letter-words! Iā€™ve composed you a love-poem: When Iā€™m feeling down on my luck As my prose has become sort-of stuck I think, with a grin Itā€™s time to give in! And libā€™rally sprinkle in ā€œFUCK!ā€ See what I mean?? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-ping-pong-tables-and-the-fucking-fucks-who-fuck-with-them/473716.md?page=3)