# Fucking Plenty of Fish **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 25, 2015, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344 "2015-12-25T19:43:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/61 "2015-12-26T22:50:07Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > I’ve said before that I liked you, Leaffan, and this confirms it. Once a month (or less) would heaven for me. So move to Oregon, why doncha? Well, come on over to Ontario! Maybe we could meet half way in Winnipeg! I jest, of course. Oregon sounds lovely. I’ve been to Vancouver and southern California, but not Oregon. I think I’d like it… ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2015, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/62 "2015-12-26T22:56:46Z")
If Donald Trump becomes president, I will be looking to move to Canada. I’m more of a once-a-day kind of gal, but maybe we could work something out. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/63 "2015-12-26T23:08:09Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > If Donald Trump becomes president, I will be looking to move to Canada. I’m more of a once-a-day kind of gal, but maybe we could work something out. I’ll sponsor you if Trump wins. 🙂 And **jayrey** too. We’ll figure something out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2015, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/64 "2015-12-26T23:59:10Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/65 "2015-12-27T00:29:17Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > If Donald Trump becomes president, I will be looking to move to Canada. I’m more of a once-a-day kind of gal, but maybe we could work something out. Ignore me if what you said was in jest, but [it ain’t that easy.](http://www.cracked.com/article_19363_6-reasons-your-plans-to-move-abroad-might-not-work-out.html) You typically need particular in-demand job skills plus a good story (preferably from a sponsoring employer) why you should get the job over a qualified Canadian: > [@](#): > > Immigration to Canada, Australia and New Zealand works by giving “points” to immigrants who have skills or other things that the country needs. For example, New Zealand and Canada have lists of “preferred professions,” most which require college degrees and years of experience. and I don’t think they’ll be granting asylum to people just because they don’t like the guy who won the election. And yes, they’re hard-asses about this. Most of my trips into Canada in the past have been to Oakville for work-related meetings, and I always got a lot more intensive interviews from the CBSA agents 'cos they wanted to be damn sure and satisified that I wasn’t coming in to work w/o a work visa. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/66 "2015-12-27T00:54:39Z")
No, I will be moving to Canada to live with my new _husband_, **Leaffan** , and his friend **jayrey**. Perfectly legit. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/67 "2015-12-27T01:30:10Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m thinking of just walking down the street and asking random women for a date. I think I’d have better results. why not try this, seriously? not on the street (which would be creepy) but somewhere people actually talk to each other. wild idea, I know. 😛 oh, and sex once a month will be fine, thank you ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/68 "2015-12-27T02:36:27Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > If Donald Trump becomes president, I will be looking to move to Canada. I’m more of a once-a-day kind of gal, but maybe we could work something out. Find your own Canadian, Alice the Goon! This one is MINE. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/69 "2015-12-27T02:37:51Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > No, I will be moving to Canada to live with my new _husband_, **Leaffan** , and his friend **jayrey**. Perfectly legit. See Post 68. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/70 "2015-12-27T02:38:47Z")
You guys are making me blush. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/71 "2015-12-27T03:14:37Z")
In my online dating days I found a ‘No thank you.’ message of mine was nearly always met w/, ‘But why not?’ or some form of insult or threat from the men I was responding to. The pressure to be nice to men who paid attention to me went from common courtesy to potentially bad for me. You know you’re a decent fellow but the woman who’s been called a variety of ugly names or threatened w/ a corrective rape for not validating a man’s interest doesn’t know that about you. Do you have [Meetup](http://www.meetup.com/)in your area? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/72 "2015-12-27T03:59:15Z")
Doesn’t appear to be. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/73 "2015-12-27T13:14:54Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > In my online dating days I found a ‘No thank you.’ message of mine was nearly always met w/, ‘But why not?’ or some form of insult or threat from the men I was responding to. The pressure to be nice to men who paid attention to me went from common courtesy to potentially bad for me. > You know you’re a decent fellow but the woman who’s been called a variety of ugly names or threatened w/ a corrective rape for not validating a man’s interest doesn’t know that about you. > Do you have [Meetup](http://www.meetup.com/)in your area? “Pressure”?? From total strangers? People you’ve never met and whose real names you don’t know? People who cannot contact you without your active participation by clicking on their message? It is impossible for there to be any “pressure” on you from such a source, unless they know where you live and/or are holding your dog hostage. That pressure isn’t coming from nameless, faceless strangers. The pressure is from voices inside your own Nice Girl head. No one out there can pressure you. Here’s the thing-- use this model: _internet dating is like catalog shopping_ from both directions at once. You are looking through the catalog, and so are all the other people. The etiquette is not the same as IRL. If someone contacts you, and you are not interested, _do not reply_. This is NOT rude. This is NOT like ignoring someone who is speaking to you in person. When someone on a dating site contacts you through the internet, it is like a stranger with very detailed caller id calling you on the phone. You do not have to answer the call. In fact, _I_ think it’s more rude to “answer the call” and say, “I don’t want to talk to you,” than it is to simply “let the phone ring.” If you feel you MUST reply with, “No, thank you,” (which any red-blooded man is going to take as a challenge), and you get another reply, for God’s sake, do the man a favor, and ignore that one. If you let the exchange go on to the point where you have “been called a variety of ugly names or threatened w/ a corrective rape,” then my question is, “what are you trying to prove by continuing to interact with these men?” If a guy you don’t know calls out to you on the street, do you stop and engage in a lengthy conversation about how and why you don’t want to get to know him? (If a guy calls out to you on the street and you DO want to get to know him, then by all means, stop and talk.) Look at internet dating as catalog shopping. Online dating is a way of seeing the faces and profiles of hundreds and possibly thousands of people whom you would never meet in person. Who knows why this person catches your eye and that one doesn’t? Who knows why you catch some guy’s eye but not another’s? But there **has to be mutual interest for a conversation to begin**. If there is No Mutual Interest, then do not begin the conversation. Period. This is not rude. This is not rejection. You look through catalogs and stop when some combination of appearance, price, style, and the sense that _this would fit into my life_ strikes you. Meanwhile the catalog item is looking **you** over with the same things in mind. If there’s a match, great. Communicate. If not, move on without a word. If you don’t want to be in touch with that person, do not click into their messages. It’s that simple. No harm. No foul. No problem. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/74 "2015-12-27T13:57:27Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > In my online dating days I found a ‘No thank you.’ message of mine was nearly always met w/, ‘But why not?’ or some form of insult or threat from the men I was responding to. The pressure to be nice to men who paid attention to me went from common courtesy to potentially bad for me. > You know you’re a decent fellow but the woman who’s been called a variety of ugly names or threatened w/ a corrective rape for not validating a man’s interest doesn’t know that about you. > Do you have [Meetup](http://www.meetup.com/)in your area? I’ve heard other women say this too, a ‘no thanks’ response to a guy you aren’t interested in tends to open the door to the guy either trying to pressure you to change your mind, or him becoming belligerent. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/75 "2015-12-27T14:15:34Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I’ve heard other women say this too, a ‘no thanks’ response to a guy you aren’t interested in tends to open the door to the guy either trying to pressure you to change your mind, or him becoming belligerent. because some guys’ dating skills never progressed past adolescence. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/76 "2015-12-27T14:24:32Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I’ve heard other women say this too, a ‘no thanks’ response to a guy you aren’t interested in tends to open the door to the guy either trying to pressure you to change your mind, or him becoming belligerent. Or maybe ThelmaLou is right, and an entirely different set of social rules apply, so if someone writes back, even if the message is “no thanks”, it means “I have some interest”. Dunno. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/77 "2015-12-27T14:46:00Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Or maybe ThelmaLou is right, and an entirely different set of social rules apply, so if someone writes back, even if the message is “no thanks”, it means “I have some interest”. Dunno. YES! It’s like when women get phone calls from men they’re not interested in. And you’ll hear a woman say, “I keep calling him and telling him to stop calling me!” DUH. Calling him is contact. If you want NO contact then do not have any contact. It’s very simple. To simply refrain from replying to an internet dating wink/email (whatever the site calls it) is not rude and it is not rejection. However, to reply and say “No, thanks, not interested”-- that IS blatant rejection and it will feel like a challenge to the person on the receiving end. So don’t do that. Only reply to people with whom you want further contact. A reply of any sort sends the message that you \*\*do \*\*want contact. Why? Because the reply \*\*IS \*\*contact. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/78 "2015-12-27T15:26:39Z")
Leaffan, I’m almost 52 years old and looking to get back into the dating world. I feel like my sexual desire has lessened and was a bit concerned about trying to keep up a 2 or 3 time a week romp. Seems like when I browse some of these dating site, the men portray themselves as highly sexual and that intimidates me. Thanks for admitting that once a month is plenty for you. That sounds about right for me too. Maybe that is more common than we think. Good luck out there! ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/79 "2015-12-27T15:54:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Thanks for admitting that once a month is plenty for you. That sounds about right for me too. Maybe that is more common than we think. sounds like we need a poll… ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2015, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/80 "2015-12-27T16:31:52Z")
Good Luck, Leaffan. Its a cold, hard, shallow world out there you’re stepping into. It has no shortage of psychopathic asshats in it either (many with zero standing or claim to your relationship status and who are just trying to trip you up for their own neurotic lulz). Chin Up & Best Wishes! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344.md?page=5)