# Fucking Plenty of Fish **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 25, 2015, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344 "2015-12-25T19:43:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2016, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/161 "2016-01-03T13:37:12Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > You are right that random internet social contact /attempts at finding a date in general was WAY better in the early days than it is now. In that women would actually talk to men and that women could find men that would actually talk back to them > > The gotcha to that was proximity. Unless you lived in a high density metro area, any random person you tried to meet and “date” online was most likely a few hour drive away. This. I met my first husband through a dating site; I got about 40 expressions of interest in the first week that my profile was up, and there were none of the weird and obnoxiously aggressive types. Most of them were quite well-spoken and all were well-behaved. He was one of the last few to contact me that week, and we just clicked right away, but the proximity issue was international. I ended up immigrating. The marriage didn’t last, but we are still friends, and I got to spend just over a decade in Canada. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/162 "2016-01-03T19:45:15Z")
I saw this article this morning. Neither of my forays into online daring started in the new year, but I guess it makes sense. GOOD LUCK to those who are looking. > **[Today is the Busiest Day of the Year for Online Dating](https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/news/a40915/busiest-online-dating-day/)** > > Statistically your best chance to end your crippling loneliness. ---
**Author:** ![NJ22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@NJ22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NJ22)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2016, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/163 "2016-01-03T20:25:01Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > I saw this article this morning. Neither of my forays into online daring started in the new year, but I guess it makes sense. GOOD LUCK to those who are looking. > [http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/news/a40915/busiest-online-dating-day/](http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/news/a40915/busiest-online-dating-day/) I can see that, new year and new goals of finding the right one. I did notice a lot of new women on POF last night. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2016, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/164 "2016-01-03T23:10:00Z")
> [@Dunkelheit](#): > > Problem with that is, you also get men who keep contacting you to find out why you haven’t replied even with a polite refusal, and further lack of reply causes them to escalate as described above, so you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. No, there is no problem. You are not damned either way. When people contact you and you don’t want to be in communication with them, this is the solution: \*don’t read their messages. \* That’s all there is to it. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/165 "2016-01-04T01:21:37Z")
> [@Cognoscant](#): > > J > An idea like yours (maximum of five messages a week, though I would suggest five connections a week instead) might work. But people looking for love are going to be drawn to a site promising UNLIMITED COMMUNICATION!!! over a site like that. And women used to overflowing inboxes might start thinking “but on this site I’m lucky to get a message a week, this sucks.” And the newer sites like Tinder are SO instant gratification, this would be hard to compete with. I don’t know about that. I think a site with limited communication would simply attract a different crowd–one that really wants to make worthwhile connections, rather than just get an ego boost and/or a quick roll in the hay. I’d sign up on a site like that. And I’m a woman who’s gotten plenty of crappy drive-by messages from men on online dating sites. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/166 "2016-01-04T01:29:57Z")
Well, I actually got a nibble. I nibbled back with no response. ---
**Author:** ![NJ22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@NJ22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NJ22)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/167 "2016-01-04T01:42:34Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > No, there is no problem. You are not damned either way. When people contact you and you don’t want to be in communication with them, this is the solution: \*don’t read their messages. \* That’s all there is to it. I guess that’s why they have the block feature:smack: ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/168 "2016-01-04T01:48:16Z")
> [@NJ22](#): > > I guess that’s why they have the block feature:smack: To me actually blocking someone is kind of brutal. (I’m assuming they know they’ve been blocked? Maybe they don’t.) Unless they’re being absolutely obnoxious. To refrain from responding when you’re not interested is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Let the messages pile up or delete them without reading. Is there anyone who simply cannot bring herself to do this? 😕 You know, you don’t have to answer your phone or open your door to someone either. You can control to a certain extent (certainly on a dating site and on the internet in general) what comes into your personal space. ---
**Author:** ![NJ22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@NJ22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NJ22)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/169 "2016-01-04T01:51:34Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > To me actually blocking someone is kind of brutal. (I’m assuming they know they’ve been blocked? Maybe they don’t.) Unless they’re being absolutely obnoxious. To refrain from responding when you’re not interested is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Let the messages pile up or delete them without reading. Is there anyone who simply cannot bring herself to do this? 😕 You know, you don’t have to answer your phone or open your door to someone either. You can control to a certain extent (certainly on a dating site and on the internet in general) what comes into your personal space. when I get more than 1 message from a woman I don’t find attractive, I do two things Delete the message Block the user ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/170 "2016-01-04T04:51:10Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Well, I actually got a nibble. I nibbled back with no response. I’ve had a couple recently that I might describe that way. There doesn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason to any of it. But, good luck, as always. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/171 "2016-01-04T13:03:32Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’ve had a couple recently that I might describe that way. There doesn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason to any of it. > > But, good luck, as always. No there isn’t. There is no way that you can know what is going on with their lives. Maybe they were talking to someone else at the same time and that turned into something before it did with you. Maybe their life suddenly got complicated and they stepped away. Maybe they got hit by a meteor. It’s basically an anonymous person on the other end. They owe you nothing. I know I’ve had some communication with women and then wandered off because someone else distracted me. In real life that would be horrible. After a couple of messages on an online dating site its not even worth thinking about. I’m sure they have plenty of attention. Right now I had a few dates with someone I met on Match. We are certainly compatible physically but I’m seeing some yellow flags that might turn red. I have three others that want to meet. As a single father with full custody I just don’t have the time. I’m 48, have a few extra pounds, a lot of road miles and although a few women in my life have told me I’m good looking I think they are crazy. It’s a numbers game. You have to keep plugging away. It can be exhausting but it’s better than the alternative. ---
**Author:** ![TheAllSeeingEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/919ad9/32.png) [@TheAllSeeingEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheAllSeeingEye)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/172 "2016-01-04T13:17:08Z")
If you’re not on there to get laid by an ugly siphillitic MIwould not like to F, then forget it bro ---
**Author:** ![TheAllSeeingEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/919ad9/32.png) [@TheAllSeeingEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheAllSeeingEye)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/173 "2016-01-04T13:19:59Z")
The best way to meet the girl of your dreams is to become a wedding singer, a paid killer for a gov agency, or dress up as an old woman on an FBI undercover mission. Source: American TV ---
**Author:** ![NJ22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@NJ22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NJ22)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/174 "2016-01-04T18:33:23Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > No there isn’t. There is no way that you can know what is going on with their lives. Maybe they were talking to someone else at the same time and that turned into something before it did with you. Maybe their life suddenly got complicated and they stepped away. Maybe they got hit by a meteor. It’s basically an anonymous person on the other end. They owe you nothing. I know I’ve had some communication with women and then wandered off because someone else distracted me. In real life that would be horrible. After a couple of messages on an online dating site its not even worth thinking about. I’m sure they have plenty of attention. > > Right now I had a few dates with someone I met on Match. We are certainly compatible physically but I’m seeing some yellow flags that might turn red. I have three others that want to meet. As a single father with full custody I just don’t have the time. I’m 48, have a few extra pounds, a lot of road miles and although a few women in my life have told me I’m good looking I think they are crazy. It’s a numbers game. You have to keep plugging away. It can be exhausting but it’s better than the alternative. And when it comes to a guy it can;t be too much of a numbers game because you are expected to pay. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/175 "2016-01-04T18:59:58Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > That is an interesting study, and would help explain why on internet dating sites the guy with a good face and good body (but average income/profession) does better than the man with an average face and average body but good income/profession. In a larger selection pool they use more visual cues to pre-select, in a smaller pool they use non-visual cues. Like I was saying earlier, a man with a face and/or body in the top 5% does far better in online dating sites than a guy with an income or profession in the top 5%. I was actually thinking of your earlier post when I looked into this - and yes, the study does tend to confirm it. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/176 "2016-01-04T22:56:52Z")
> [@NJ22](#): > > And when it comes to a guy it can;t be too much of a numbers game because you are expected to pay. Whine whine whine. The problem the people in this thread are having is about getting to the “face to face date” part, which is indeed a numbers game. If you have so many ladies responding to your requests that you are going broke buying them introductory coffees, then you’ve got another problem all together. ---
**Author:** ![NJ22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@NJ22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NJ22)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2016, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/177 "2016-01-04T23:05:39Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Whine whine whine. > > The problem the people in this thread are having is about getting to the “face to face date” part, which is indeed a numbers game. If you have so many ladies responding to your requests that you are going broke buying them introductory coffees, then you’ve got another problem all together. would that be called a “good problem” lol ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/178 "2016-01-05T01:54:00Z")
Sometimes some bizarre circumstances come up when you are online dating. I took a screen shot today of the last 4 people who looked at my profile. One was a scammer, one was a nice woman I’m conversing with, one is the ex-wife of a friend from high school and the last one was my ex-girlfriend. You can’t make it up. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/179 "2016-01-05T03:31:56Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Sometimes some bizarre circumstances come up when you are online dating. I took a screen shot today of the last 4 people who looked at my profile. One was a scammer, one was a nice woman I’m conversing with, one is the ex-wife of a friend from high school and the last one was my ex-girlfriend. You can’t make it up. A guy I went on two dates with in 2005 keep a showing up in my “people you may know” suggestions on Facebook. I have a different email, different everything but we know a few of the same people, Like enough places and things that I guess some strange algorithm keeps throwing us together. Just before Christmad he sent me a friend request (on Facebook)and a message asking if we knew each other. I have not replied. He is probably a decent guy now but when we met he had a bit of an inflated ego and made some comments about parenting which I didn’t appreciate. There is no way to respond that doesn’t make me sound like I am holding a grudge. I just don’t live there and have no interest in persuing a friendship with him. Interestinly his profile lists him as “Single”. ---
**Author:** ![Grim\_Render](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@Grim\_Render](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grim_Render)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344/180 "2016-01-05T19:59:37Z")
Just after the turn of the millennium, I was single. I used those days equivalent of [Match.com](http://Match.com), and would say I had some success with it. I got dates, got laid, and met nice girls. Perhaps I used it differently? To be fair, it is a different culture, and in those days the… netiquette wasn’t set. It felt like we didn’t have a set of unspoken rules yet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-plenty-of-fish/741344.md?page=10)