# Fucking scammer motherfuckers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 28, 2022, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240 "2022-12-28T21:57:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2024, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/401 "2024-03-19T05:13:05Z")
I am having sich a blast reading your exploits! ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/402 "2024-03-21T00:09:22Z")
It looks like Mr. Goodman from “Publishers Clearinghouse” has given up on me. I sent him a text with the pictures of the cash, deep fryer, and United Parcel Service (UPS) tracking number last night and he has called me 35 times. I hope there wasn’t anything wrong with the tracking number. I didn’t answer but around noon today I had one of my coworkers call him as my intellectually disabled daughter, Victoria. She told him I had gone to Canada but I had forgotten my phone and left it at the farm. Mr. Goodman called her a liar. She told him that her daddy said it’s not nice to make fun of retarded people and that she wants to go to Portugal. I got a text from him about an hour later asking, “Why do you lie about everything[?]” Just like most other scammers, he is now trying to make me look like the bad guy. Does he really think I am the bad guy in this relationship? I think maybe he does. What do you guys think? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/403 "2024-03-21T01:03:57Z")
You should send him more money as compensation. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/404 "2024-03-21T01:30:49Z")
I’d be angry that he called your mentally challenged daughter a liar. Hope she handled that without any residual concerns. How is she doing? Maybe she (or her therapist) needs to demand an apology from him. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/405 "2024-03-21T12:38:22Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > > [@Skywatcher](#): > > > > \*Curiously, the vast majority of them seem to be of porn stars. > > Huh. All of mine are middle-aged divorced (or widowed) men. Should I feel insulted? Not that some of them might not have been porn-worthy at some point, and they still look decent enough, but I don’t think they’d be starring in any current productions. Same here……attractive middle-aged men, but definitely middle-aged or older. And usually widowed. They frequently have an older teenaged daughter, 15 or 16. I figure that’s the sweet spot, too old to be an encumbrance to a relationship but young enough that her daddy might need money to pay for an imaginary emergency surgery. There was one that had his home town listed as a city about a 90 minute drive from me. I figure that was another sweet spot, close enough to hold promise but a little too far for a casual meet-up. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/406 "2024-03-21T13:13:11Z")
I think I mentioned upthread my propensity to be absolutely disgusting to spammers. I respond with carefully masked files containing: Incest/weird stuff for Nigerians (nominative Christians, though in a country that big religions differ) Gentlemen having coitus with cattle: India, in the hope they are Hindu Weird stuff, and you probably do not want to know my mental collection of “weird stuff” because I was a young developer in the early 2020s with no monitoring and free ADSL. Rotten dot com, I am looking at you. And the entire Japanese live action Hentai octopus porn. Sorry that I made you think of that, but it is real. ETA- broke the link to rotten, it is beyond NSFW. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/407 "2024-03-21T17:14:34Z")
I just got a scammer e-mail, one of those “Your purchase of $494.34 worth of bitcoin was successful, if you did not place this order call us at 1-888-SCAMMER. The funny thing about this one was it was sent to me and about 1000 other e-mail addresses. Not BCC, not even CC. I had to scroll through 3 pages of To: addresses to even get to the body of the e-mail. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/408 "2024-03-21T18:17:46Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > I just got a scammer e-mail, one of those “Your purchase of $494.34 worth of bitcoin was successful, if you did not place this order call us at 1-888-SCAMMER. I got a similar one but it was pretending to be from the Geek Squad. It did not mention my name at any point and was sent to a very old email address I pretty much never use for anything anymore and just keep access to in case. Almost any email that gets to that mailbox is automatically suspicious. Anyway, it was obviously deleted. I can’t even remember what email address it came from but it was some generic thing not even close to anything the Geek Squad or Best Buy would use. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/409 "2024-03-21T20:49:56Z")
I guess a scammer just tried calling our quasi-call center. I picked up and was greeted by an automated menu (paraphrased):“Press 1 to accept this free call. Press 6 to be removed from our list.” Our call volume is very low so we only have one employee handling phones at a time. If not for that, I would have pressed 1 to see what they would do when I gave them my standard federal government office drone greeting. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2024, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/410 "2024-03-21T22:49:41Z")
I got a message from Microsoft that completely locked up my computer, and I did call the customer service number, and even better yet got someone who spoke fluent English. He said that my computer was hacked into; no kidding, because he ran some kind of history and found evidence of CSAM being downloaded! I sure didn’t download it, although I’ve accidentally clicked on a few Trojan horses over the years and also sometimes post on a very controversial website (kiwifarms dot com, if you’re curious) for unrelated reasons, although I’m going to avoid that site for now. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/411 "2024-03-23T18:55:10Z")
Whatsapp message from the blue (Makro is a local large discount/bulk good store). FWIW, a R2000 to R3000 / per day is pretty good. Unfortunately I, as a senior software developer already earn in that range, and I have no intention of writing scam reviews for products all day, rather give me a juicy software problem. Scammer: Hi. How are you Me: My anal prolapse is getting better, thanks. But I have hemorrhoids now. Scammer: Hi!, It’s a pleasure to contact you. My name is Lise Lore, I am an online Virtual Assistant at MAKRO ONLINE SHOP. We got your number from LinkedIn or different websites. Can you work from home with us as a part-time freelancer for MAKRO ONLINE SHOP. Hype Team? Joining is totally free, with a salary range from R2000-3000 per day. Me: My testicles ache for you, my love Scammer: Perfect, I’ll show you how this works. Before we start, I’ll ask you THREE qualifying question. 1. How old are you? 2. Do you have telegram? 3. Do you have data or wifi? Me: I am 13, no, and no. I got banned from the internet for posting dick pics “She” is messaging from an Indian number, so a good choice would be to invoke having sex with a cow to test if “she” is Hindu. Else we move onto pigs. My mind is a sordid place and I want to share it with the world! ---
**Author:** ![bobsmom101](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobsmom101/32/2867_2.png) [@bobsmom101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobsmom101)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/412 "2024-03-23T20:38:28Z")
I got a new one on my voice mail today: a young man yclept (love that word, seldom get the opportunity to use it) Andrew who told me that his (unspecified) company was aware I had unpaid back taxes and could square things with the gov’t no matter how large the amount, just give them a call. The odd thing was that he was either the _rarest_ of _aves_, a home-grown N American scammer, or voice synthesizers have gotten frightfully sophisticated. Not only were his syntax and usage colloquially correct but even the “ums” and “wells” and other interjections were what you would expect of a native speaker. Mighty scary if he was in fact a bot. ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/413 "2024-03-23T23:28:59Z")
I thought maybe Mr. Goodman from “Publishers Clearinghouse” had had enough after speaking with my intellectually disabled daughter, Victoria, but he as called quite a bit and left some text messages. I have not answered the calls but began responding to the text messages this afternoon. I think he might be upset. Here are the text messages after he spoke with Victoria: GOODMAN: What’s going on GOODMAN: Why do you lie about everything GOODMAN: LIst [_sic_] GOODMAN: Lier [_sic_] GOODMAN: Lier [_sic_] GOODMAN: Tell CJ he’s Lier [_sic_] won’t help him B\*UDREAUX: I just go back from Canada and I found out you called my mentally retarded daughter a liar! How dare you. She may be 42 years old but she has the mind of a 5 year old. She wasn’t supposed to be playing with the phone but I guess she found it. Unless you apologize immediately I am going to the media with this. All phone calls in and out of this farm are recorded for security purposes. Your job with Publishers Clearinhouse may be in jeopardy. GOODMAN: You send no money Lier [_sic_] GOODMAN: lol GOODMAN: List [_sic_] GOODMAN: Lair [_sic_] GOODMAN: Liar B\*UDREAUX: I think I have figured out your little scheme with the deep fryer. I could have just sent the money. If you are too poor to buy a deep fryer you should have told me. I would get one for you. I would have just sent you the deep fryer directly. Your accountant in Florida should have got the money by now. Is she sending the deep fryer to you? GOODMAN: Hahaha GOODMAN: Put your balls in the deep fryer GOODMAN: And fry it ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/414 "2024-03-23T23:32:38Z")
Hey, at least he finally learned how to spell liar. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2024, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/415 "2024-03-24T00:14:50Z")
A scam artist irate because you lied to him is absolutely delightful. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2024, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/416 "2024-03-24T00:30:13Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > A scam artist irate because you lied to him is absolutely delightful. - 'How _dare_ you stop me from stealing from you!!!" ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2024, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/417 "2024-03-24T00:42:18Z")
> [@Ynnad](#): > > GOODMAN: List [_sic_] > > GOODMAN: Lair [_sic_] > > GOODMAN: Liar Not sure if he thinks you are a classical composer, a bear, or a bearer of false witness. ---
**Author:** ![Eric1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@Eric1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eric1)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/418 "2024-04-14T21:46:55Z")
I got prodded by a live person scammer at work. I was coaching this woman with a developmental disability. Sometimes I’ve talked with some clients’ siblings over the phone for work. This woman my age came up next to me, said she was the woman’s sister and then asked me what I was doing after work. At this point, i humorously gushed “I appreciate your criminal intent.” She got enraged at me when I walked away from her. I must look like a cherub who’d go for a love scam! Snarf!!! ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/419 "2024-04-14T22:04:16Z")
> [@Eric1](#): > > Snarf!!! What is meant by this? And was it definitely not her sister? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240/420 "2024-04-14T22:06:24Z")
I just got an email about an order I don’t remember placing. I apparently also forgot that my name IRL is “saintcady”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-scammer-motherfuckers/977240.md?page=22)