# Fucking soap dispenser... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 27, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376 "2004-05-27T17:29:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/1 "2004-05-27T17:29:33Z")
So I’m in the bathroom at work, washing my hands, and I need to get some soap. The soap dispenser is on the upper-right corner of the sink, and it’s one of those models where you push down on the top and a dollop of soap comes out of a nozzle. Well, usually. Today there must have been some serious pressure in there, cause when I pressed down, the damn thing ejaculated soap all over the left side of my shirt (a distance of 2, 2.5 feet). Just my luck, the soap is off-white… I cleaned off what I could, but there are still suspicious-looking dark stains on my shirt. I can’t really go home just to change shirts, so I guess I’ll just act casual and hope no one notices. Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Tower\_Dweller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tower\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tower_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/2 "2004-05-27T18:28:06Z")
The one here is kinda jammed or something. When you pull the little lever down, it doesn’t actually put the soap in your hand. It cunningly waits and - just when you’ve moved your hand away, it drops the soap on the counter. There’s a 5" puddle of Prell-green soap on the counter right now plotting it’s escape. Can you tell people that you were in the bathroom squeezing one off and it got on your shirt? Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/3 "2004-05-27T18:46:39Z")
I shouldn’t laugh… but… BWAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! ---
**Author:** ![JerH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@JerH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerH)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/4 "2004-05-27T21:06:41Z")
The exact same thing happened to me today - except instead of soap, it was the ketchup dispenser at the food court. So consider yourself lucky. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/5 "2004-05-27T21:34:01Z")
I used to sell soap dispensers at that shitty warhouse place I worked at for eight years. Eventually the dispenser would fail and leak. It was cheaper to buy a new one than get the replacement parts for the old one. It was a “pay me now or payme later” kinda thing. Very rarely will the custodial staff take the soap dispenser off the wall and flush it out with hot water like they should. Yours was probably refilled recently and there was some soap-smegma built up in the nozzle. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/6 "2004-05-28T01:19:42Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > the damn thing ejaculated soap all over the left side of my shirt (a distance of 2, 2.5 feet). Just my luck, the soap is off-white… A likely story! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Papermache\_Prince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Papermache\_Prince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Papermache_Prince)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/7 "2004-05-28T01:30:34Z")
I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m unfamiliar with “fucking soap.” Where could I buy some? ---
**Author:** ![cj\_finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@cj\_finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cj_finn)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/8 "2004-05-28T02:39:18Z")
You think you had it bad? Five minutes after I got on the bus this afternoon, I noticed that a pigeon had let me have it on the right shoulder. And no one mentioned it. Very cool folks. Well fed pigeon too. cj ---
**Author:** ![Toddly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@Toddly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toddly)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-soap-dispenser/247376/9 "2004-05-28T04:06:34Z")
Next time it happens just spill some coffee on it and then everyone will know exactly what happened and you won’t have to worry what people might be thinking. 🙂