# Full-time job? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 1999, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904 "1999-10-12T18:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/1 "1999-10-13T05:55:00Z")
As most regular posters are aware, the profile for Imthecowgodmoo lists his/her occupation as “full-time cow god.” What tasks make this a full-time job? Could it not be handled on a part-time basis? Would there be any value in outsourcing it? Your thoughts are solicited… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 1999, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/2 "1999-10-12T18:37:00Z")
I can’t imagine trying to be the cowgod on anything BUT a full-time basis. Cowgods do more before 5AM than most cows do all day… * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![beefymeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@beefymeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beefymeg)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 1999, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/3 "1999-10-12T18:40:00Z")
Also, is the “moo” in “Imthecowgodmoo” a command? Or does the god of cows make the same noises as his followers? The latter is logical, since he would need some means to communicate with his disciples. * * * Sucks to your assmar. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 1999, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/4 "1999-10-12T18:45:00Z")
Also, wouldn’t the cow god lose insurance benefits if he/she went only part time? Unless you’re into devine (or is it bovine - I’m confused) healing and miracles and such, that could pretty much suck, I would think. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 1999, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/5 "1999-10-12T18:45:00Z")
It can’t possible be easy to be the Dairy King. Plus, there are all those cows responsible for getting much needed milk on the upper lips of celebrities involved in photo shoots. And really, did you think a cow could possibly jump over the moon without a little spiritual guidance? * * * I got a lot of energy ready to be wasted on somebody - Mookie Wilson ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/6 "1999-10-13T04:46:00Z")
I think the answer depends on whether the cow god is for dairy cows only, which could probably be done part-time, at home, or for all breeds of cattle and other bovines such as water buffalo and aurochs, which would be pretty much a full-time job. ## p.s. I’m assuming a 40-hour week, with occasional overtime. Strangers have the best candy. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/7 "1999-10-13T04:56:00Z")
Any genuine position in the deity field involves full-time work. All those ads you see in the magazines for work-from-home, part-time gods are just a scam. Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![Pickman\_s\_Model](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Pickman\_s\_Model](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pickman_s_Model)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/8 "1999-10-13T05:06:00Z")
Considering that cows of a feather stick together, I’m wondering if the cowgod on his days off is off in a meadow somewhere, cavorting with Pushan, the Hindu god of pastures, and Isis, the Egyptian goddess of cattle? It’s such a peaceful and bucolic scene… ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/9 "1999-10-13T05:27:00Z")
I’m thinking the moo is more of an answer to a koan…Apparently the Cow God is a very zen thing to be. ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/10 "1999-10-13T11:56:00Z")
My girls say it’s a full time job. They’re high maintenance and they’re always getting into trouble and constantly calling on their god for guidance and support. That’s not even taking into consideration the fact that dairy cows are spread the world over and the through most all the time zones. * * * Tenacious, like a coonhound tracking a poodle in heat. ---
**Author:** ![mikehardware](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mikehardware](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikehardware)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/11 "1999-10-14T05:55:00Z")
Hay everyone! I herd it was a noble full-time position. The steaks are high in hearing your subjects’ beefs, steering things just right, and revealing bovine wisdom. The plus side is listening to “Amazing Graze” and drinking decalf. Sorry if this has been udderly ridiculous, I’m only ribbing you all. (Hope you think it’s well-done.) Just trying to milk this for all it’s worth. I’m a coward, so I’ll just mooove on and hide now. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/12 "1999-10-14T05:58:00Z")
Well, I did have a heavenly ribeye over the weekend. It had to have been blessed by the beef diety. * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/13 "1999-10-13T18:30:00Z")
Am I the only one who’s noticed that cows are female, but gods are male? Shouldn’t it be Imthecowgoddessmoo? Or Imthebullgodmoo? What’s going on here? Is there some kind of exchange program going on? Will someone show up one day claiming to be Imthebullgoddessmoo? Of course “bull god” has an entirely different connotation than “cow god”… If you wanted to have a non-gender oriented deity, he could be Imthecattlegodmoo, I suppose. * * * Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/14 "1999-10-13T18:36:00Z")
Well, it looks like the Cow God can stay on the job full time; I think we have a consensus. Though to tell you the truth, what convinced me was Funneefarmer’s post; I’ve learned never to argue with someone from Otsego County. NTG, it’s just another case of gender-bending. (We’ve been getting into a G.D. at church about the question of whether God has feminine aspects, and don’t ask!!) ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/15 "1999-10-13T19:06:00Z")
So, does God have feminine aspects? * * * If you’re hot, that’s good. If you’re cool, that’s good. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/16 "1999-10-13T19:11:00Z")
It must be a full-time job… He doesn’t even have time to respond to this lengthy thread about him! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/17 "1999-10-13T19:15:00Z")
Just like any deity, too busy at the bacchanal for the pleas of the merely mortal. * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/18 "1999-10-13T19:35:00Z")
Let me break up his screen name with a little punctuation: imthecowgodmoo: I’m the Cow God “Moo” Moo is his name. Next time you’re in the pasture, don’t be confused. The cows are all calling Him (Moo) by name to strike you down. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/19 "1999-10-13T19:48:00Z")
Unc, if **your** job description included: 1. Getting boozed up with beautiful nymphs and doing what comes naturally 2. Answering the prayers and invocations of PITA mortals {Incumbent of position shall determine prioritization of duties 1 and 2.) which would **you** put the emphasis on? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 1999, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904/20 "1999-10-13T19:48:00Z")
MrThinSkin, the “Moo” is to distinguish him from other full-time cow gods who post here, right? 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/full-time-job/9904.md?page=2)