# Fun and games with Mr Austin Wemba **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126 "2004-03-02T16:48:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/21 "2004-03-09T00:47:36Z")
**Mangetout** You are a genius. There is no other word for it. Might I suggest you attemtp to contact the South African authorities? I’m sure they’d love to pick this guy up, even if they couldn’t ultimately charge him. And just think if they did! Can you imagine this e-mail exchange being introduced into evidence in court? At the very least, you’d get a free trip (legitimate this time) to South Africa. You’d probably also become an international comic hero! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/22 "2004-03-09T10:33:59Z")
> [@](#): > > From: Austin Wemba > My dearest Dick, > > Concerning your worry about your safety on your arrival. I would want to understand that South Africa is one of the country’s in Africa with good security nation wide due to their good and stable government. I am giving you the assurance that no body is going to touch you under the Surveillance of their well trained securities. The reason for not using a play card as you suggested is to avoid publicity. I will try to go Johannesburg center to send my picture via email scanning so that your mind will be at rest. > > On the issue of money.US$9,650.20 is the computation summary clearing bill from the security company. My ex-financial director assured is going to give me the money to offset the bill at the security company while US$3,000.00 is the money you are required to bring to open and activate the NON-RESIDENT ACCOUNT you shall open here on your name where the said fund will be deposited for onward transfer to your overseas account. So I believe that US$5,000.00 which you said you got will be okay to take care of everything. > > Don’t forget to call either me on (083 982 1892) or Mr. Donald Sylvester (083 362 6365) when you arrive Johannesburg airport. Lastly, never disclose your mission to anybody even at the airport for confidentiality purpose. Dick, your safety is guarrantee because you should know that if you are not safe, How do I actualize this project. > > Hoping to see you face to face tomorrow, have a nice filght to SA. > > kind regards, > > Mr. Austin Wemba. Indeed Mr ‘Wemba’ - it must be safe, otherwise how are you to actualize the project? > [@](#): > > From: Dick Dastardly > Dear Mr Austin > > Thank you for your kind reassurances, but must you understand that this is my first time of international travel since I leave the country of my birth as a small tiny child. And I am much apprehensive of public spaces and people of whom I do not know. It is absolutely required that you can send me photograph of yourself or your driver holding paper with the words of greeting as I asked. I know my fears may must seem foolish to yourself, but it is very real to me and I tremble. > > I am partly relieved that only I must bring the smaller amount of cash money - it was that I planned to bring $US$10,000 from the Wacky Races Prize fund and $US$5,000 from my personal own saving account, but if you say that I will not need the more money, I can leave behind the $US$10,000 in the safe deposit box - shall I do this? > > It is hope that you will excuse my fears and troubles again, but do not please forget the photograph with words - I will check again my email later today before the flight journey departure. > > Warm regards > > Dick Dastardly. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/23 "2004-03-09T11:24:38Z")
Good stuff, Mange! 😃 I would like to share a similar attempt I read a few weeks ago. This person got the scammers to actually show up on a webcam in Amsterdam. [The Adventures of Wendy Willcox!](http://www.wendywillcox.50megs.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/24 "2004-03-09T11:56:55Z")
Nice one! What an attractive young lady is Wendy! I’m wondering how he will react when the penny drops - either impotent threats or simple withdrawal. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/25 "2004-03-09T22:08:39Z")
No further contact from him today - this could be interpreted in a couple of ways: -He thinks I’m on my way and thus can’t be bothered to get a photo -He asked someone to take a picture of him holding a card with the wording I specified and they understood the joke. Assuming he’s still not wise, I’m going to wait until Wednesday evening and tell him my connecting flight was diverted to somewhere improbable. - This should buy me a few more days to really build up the pressure for a photo. ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/26 "2004-03-09T23:01:25Z")
Why don’t you just tell him that because of your “great fearing,” you delayed your flight because you hadn’t yet received the picture? Can you trace his ISP from the e-mails or is he using hotmail? Either way, when you decide to drop the other shoe, it would be hilarious to send him a very official looking e-mail from another e-mail address announcing that the International Fraud Union Committee (IFUC) has been monitoring the transaction and that by opening the e-mail he is currently reading, the “relevant information” has been “copied from his computer” and that his computer is now evidence in a criminal investigation. The e-mail should instruct him to not to erase any data or files and that he is forbidden to physically damage the computer. With a bit of luck, he’ll feed his laptop to a shredder. If you could track down his ISP (even if it’s hotmail) you might be able to get them to disable his account. That would definitely leave him in need of clean shorts! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/27 "2004-03-09T23:13:01Z")
I think I’ll tell him that my flight was diverted to Spain because of Hurrican Ringo, but that I’m going to spend a few days there in search of pigeons, while I wait for him to send the picture (good idea of yours). I very much doubt he has his own computer - his email address is a Yahoo one (and conspicuously a disposable address) - all but one of his emails were sent within the same hour or so (but on different days), except Sunday, when there was none - I think this pattern points to him using an internet cafe or a computer in a library. ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/28 "2004-03-09T23:37:57Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I think I’ll tell him that my flight was diverted to Spain because of Hurrican Ringo, but that I’m going to spend a few days there in search of pigeons Excellent! Pigeons are orginally natives of North Africa but spend much time in Spain where there are many statues of Queen Isabella. This thread is one of the ten best things I’ve ever seen on this board. I can’t imagine why it hasn’t made thread spotting. Maybe **Tuba** is afraid that too much publicity might give the game away! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/29 "2004-03-10T10:53:58Z")
Well, the game is still afoot, or so it would appear… > [@](#): > > From: Austin Wemba > Dear Mr. Dick, > > Thanks for your message. I will try to send you my picture as requested, the driver will be at the airport waiting for you. It is much easier to connect him through phone as I suggested. > > Call me or the ex-financial director on arrival and the driver will be instructed to meet you immediately. > > For the money you are talking about, It is not needed, you can only come with the US$5,000.00 as you mentioned for account opening / activation. > > Call me as soon as you arrive on [snip] direct. > > Awaiting to recieve you upon your arrival. > > regards, > > Mr. Austin Wemba. Odd that he doesn’t want me to take the extra ten thousand dollars, perhaps he feels this adds to his credibility, or maybe my statement that I embezzled it gives him concern that he might be pursued legally. I’ve decided to tell him that my flight was diverted into Lagos, Nigeria due to some implausible event, but not yet; if this was true, I’d be unable to contact him straight away until I found my feet. I don’t think he has any intention of actually sending a photo, so I’ll stay a few days in my Nigerian hotel, watching the pigeons until he can allay my fears. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/30 "2004-03-10T14:57:27Z")
Ooh, I know, I know! Tell him that your flight was diverted because of migrating coconuts! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/31 "2004-03-10T15:34:01Z")
Are you trying to tell me coconuts _migrate_? [sub]Please don’t turn this thread into a Monty Python Recite-a-thon (Pytha-cite-on?)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/32 "2004-03-10T16:36:00Z")
What surprises me is the unbelievable gullibility of the scammers. This thing has been around for a long time and there has been more than one ‘scam th scammers’ scenario yet they continue to believe it will work? Has it ever? Is there a record of anyone actually getting caught up in this crap and giving these guys money? I still get these all the time only now they’re not always from Africa. I loved the Wendy Wilcox story. Can’t believe that got that guy on camera. Sucker! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/33 "2004-03-10T17:06:49Z")
On the scamorama website, there are a few accounts of people who were taken in by the scam - and these are just the ones that owned up to being stung. Apparently the advance fee scam is something like the fifth ranking source of income in Nigeria, which would seem to suggest that a large number of people get taken in by it (although how these figures were calculated is anybody’s guess). I find it incredible that anyone could fall for the scam simply because _you never receive just one of the emails_ - once you’re on the mailing lists, it isn’t just Austin Wemba pleading for your help, it’s Mariam Abacha, Dada Guei, Mobutu Sese-Seko and the whole crew - why anyone would take one such message seriously while ignoring all the (very similar)others is a complete mystery to me. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/34 "2004-03-10T17:09:29Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Are you trying to tell me coconuts _migrate_? Not at all. Wouldn’t dream of it. I’m trying to tell our mark, Austin Wemba, that coconuts migrate. Is the mark gullible enough to fall for a completely ridiculous explanation for why the OP isn’t present in person? IMHO (oops, wrong forum) Monty Python references are about as completely ridiculous as you can get. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/35 "2004-03-10T20:38:38Z")
Well, this is a bit of a long shot; if he falls for this, then he’s either really gullible or living in a hole, as the flight on which I said I was coming will have safely landed in Johannesburg, however, the detail about the fire in Lagos is a real news story, to add a little authenticity: > [@](#): > > From: Dick Dastardly > Dear Mr Austin > > What to tell you? I do not know; the flight journey has so far been both difficult and impossible. The airplane on the second limb of flight journey was much troubled by weather and many passengers were of extreme sickness, but in the cloud also one of the jet engines was made to stop by filled with ice intrusion and the flying could not continue properly. > > The commander was made a special difficult landing in a different place by necessity and this place was also Lagos, which also is in Nigeria. The flight travel company was of apology and made arrangement for hotel accomodation of me here, as well as for the compensation of soiled clothes. I am much shaken about with great weariness. It was terrible and awful. There is also today having been a large and terrible fire here in this city (though not at the place of my hotel), so the world seems like upside-down. > > Onward flight journey travel will have arranged in short times at my selection, it is promised, however, rest here will perhaps possibly require to remove my now terror of the flying travel. Airport at Lagos also was a frightening and difficult place. As I walked out of the room on my legs, a man of whom I do not know tried to take away my bags from me and threw me on the ground, but he went away without holding any of my properties. I shall wish to be recovered before I must desire to go again into that place. > > I am deeply sorry for this trouble, but I cannot alter it. Sorry also for the difficulty of English - they have not even the helper of language program here at the computer of the hotel, just have the helper of word spells. > I will need sleep now so tomorrow to email contact you again from this place in the morning. > > Warm regards > Richard Dastardly ---
**Author:** ![Never\_to\_be\_Queen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Never\_to\_be\_Queen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Never_to_be_Queen)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/36 "2004-03-11T01:47:00Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > As I walked out of the room on my legs… 😃 hee hee ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/37 "2004-03-11T08:57:02Z")
> [@](#): > > From: Dick Dastardly > Dear Mr Austin > > I am sorry for the way of my messages that I email send you yesterday night - it was indeed a great terrible day and I was felt lucky to be living still, but also very frightened and terror about the bad things that have happen. > > Today morning is the sun shine and blue of sky and I was sleeping very good with great rest, so everything does seem not to be as bad. I still have the very fear of people and flying travel, but already also it is get better a little. I will stay here though until you can send email of me your photograph as I ask. > > Today is Lagos seem to be after alll a very nice place with also many things with to look for and also I notice many pigeons, which I love. After eating food I will go out of the room for the walk of looking about. > > Warm regards > Dick Dastardly My plan now (and tell me if you think I’m going too far) is to break off contact completely as Dick Dastardly, leave him to stew for a day or so (he may actually send the photograph), then contact him as Penelope Pitstop, claiming that my fiancé (Dick Dastardly) was murdered in Lagos and left behind a sealed envelope including instructions (although he _said_ he was going to SA) to contact Mr Wemba and tell him what has happened. I want to see if he will stoop so low as to try to lure a widow (of a man in whose demise he has been instrumental) out to complete the scam. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/38 "2004-03-11T11:52:54Z")
To say the very least, this thread has made my like significantly less drab. I am subscribing to this thread. I can’t wait to hear the next installment of the adventures of the soon-to-be-late Dick Dastardly and his berieved fiancee. –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/39 "2004-03-11T11:57:30Z")
I am much humour of this thread. In the mornings of my work if boring I am finding to laugh for it. I have subscription to and can many enjoying. I hope Mr Austin is reply soon! I want to see his beautiful face with the picture email. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/40 "2004-03-11T14:08:38Z")
Oh no! Please don’t kill off Mr. Dastardly! Let him go missing for a while, as Miss Pitstop enters the game. Then later you can get the mark to play Dastardly against Pitstop, and see what he promises each of them! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126.md?page=3)