# Fun and games with Mr Austin Wemba **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126 "2004-03-02T16:48:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/101 "2004-03-18T09:14:00Z")
Yes, excellent link **Tabithina** - I really enjoyed reading the stuff on that site. I plan to extract at least one more response out of Wemba, by sheer tenacity, if necessary; he must either respond or shut down his Yahoo account - there is no third option. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/102 "2004-03-18T23:41:51Z")
Further developments… > [@](#): > > From: Penelope Pitstop > Dear Mr Wemba > > Please forgive me for repeatedly pestering you like this, and I now understand your reluctance to reply, but the situation is beyond desperate! > > I arrived in Lagos this evening and am now at the hotel where Richard was staying and was last seen - among the papers in his room was a note with the login details to the email account by which he has been in communication with you; I see from the few messages in the sent items folder that he was trying to help you with some kind of important transaction (how like him, to always be thinking of others), but most importantly, there was a new message in his inbox, a copy of which I include here: > > Sender: [snip] > Reply-to: [snip] > To: [RICHARDDASTARDLY2004@YAHOO.COM](mailto:RICHARDDASTARDLY2004@YAHOO.COM) > Subject: WE HAVE DICK YOU SEND MONEY NOW > Date: Mon, 15 Mar 2004 12:24:02 > WE HAVE DICK IF YOU WANT TO SEE ALIVE AGIAN YOU WILL PAY > SEND EMAIL BEOFORE 48 HOUR OR WE CAN HURET HIM THIS IS NOT JOKE > > I am beside myself with worry - I had hoped against hope that he had simply wandered off or might be found with some minor injury in a hospital or something like that, but he’s really been taken! What should I do? > I could not understand why the kidnappers would send the message to his own account, but given his mental state (it is clear from the language in his emails I read that he was spiralling into one of his ‘episodes’), maybe that is the only address he can remember under pressure. > > The 48 hour deadline they set has already expired - I have sent them a desperate note pleading for more time. What will I do if they have harmed him? I should have come out here sooner. > > Mr Wemba, I understand that your transaction with my dear Richard was of the utmost confidence and I hope you will accept my assurance of complete secrecy - you are the only person I can trust in this awful place. Can you help me? The hotel manager insists that it is not a good idea to involve the police, but this seems like madness. What do you think I should do? > > Please help > > Begging your kind assistance > Penny I’ve deliberately included the ‘kidnappers’ address in the pasted message, I’m sort of hoping Wemba will contact them himself. ---
**Author:** ![tigereye001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@tigereye001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tigereye001)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/103 "2004-03-19T00:04:18Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Further developments… > I’ve deliberately included the ‘kidnappers’ address in the pasted message, I’m sort of hoping Wemba will contact them himself. Mangetout, I grovel before your greatness. _worships_ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/104 "2004-03-19T00:28:40Z")
Dear Dr. Sir/Madam Mangetout, Impressed I am for your sheer tenacity to wind up these nefarious Nigerian scammers. Wish you I to give $20,000 of local my money to you as a kindness gesture for the received entertainment and doing selfless civic duty. Meritorious you are. Provide to me, most kind Dr. Sir/Madam, your checking account number and I shall deposit it in happily. Yrs. Warmly, Mrs. Prunella Nodcock Clunch-Ovrbite III Elbonia ---
**Author:** ![bat312](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c77e96/32.png) [@bat312](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bat312)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/105 "2004-03-19T03:35:33Z")
Ok gang, I will be as unhappy as the next to see this thing end…but what then? I suggest a spam attack of our own. What about spaming this guy. 10, 20, or more email a day by each of us! Flood him with crap. Mangetout when it is done, you give us address and we will address him. Eeegh, just an idea. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/106 "2004-03-19T23:00:17Z")
Hay-ulp! Hay-ulp! the kidnappers want more money than Penelope can raise! (rather unsurprisingly) > [@](#): > > From: Penelope Pitstop > Dear mr Wemba > > Please would you reply - you are now my only hope in this dire situation. I received a reply from the kidnappers today, again on Richard’s account here: > > Sender: [snip] > Reply-to: [snip] > To: [RICHARDDASTARDLY2004@YAHOO.COM](mailto:RICHARDDASTARDLY2004@YAHOO.COM) > Subject: Re: Please don’t hurt Richard > Date: Mon, 19 Mar 2004 12:35:14 > WHY SO LONG FOR YOU REPLY? LUCKY WE DID NOT KILL IF YOU WANT TO SEE ALIVE AGIAN YOU WILL GIVE US DOLLARS 85 THOUSAND CASH WE KNWO YOU HAVE MUCH MONEY AND MORE EMAIL AGIAN WHEN READY AND WE TEL WHERE TO TAKE WE WILL KILL HIM IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS > > Mr Wemba, I don’t have this much money; there is about twelve thousand in cash that Richard left in his room and there are some valuable watches that I suppose I could sell, along with a brand new computer and camcorder, but this will still leave me far short of 85,000 dollars, I’m sure. > I think I’m right in my understanding that Richard was in the final stages of some kind of transaction or service to you, for which there was a considerable financial reward; are you still in need of this service? I know it is terribly forward of me to be asking this, but is there any way that I can perform the service for you, in order to raise the ransom money? There is very little time and I fear greatly for Richard’s safety - his medication was not found in the room, which I hope means he has it with him, however he must be nearing the end of the prescription and without it, his condition will deteriorate rapidly, even if he is not harmed by the abductors. > > Please respond to me this time, I beg of you. > > Penny ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Austin\_Wemba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@Mr.Austin\_Wemba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Austin_Wemba)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/107 "2004-03-20T07:07:17Z")
**AHA!! I’ve tumbled onto your little secret.** :eek: It appears that Mr. Dick Dastardly will not be able to complete our transaction. Would anyone else care to assist me? Don’t forget, it’s 100% risk free. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/108 "2004-03-20T07:54:07Z")
Very very good try ManGetOut. Wow. Wonderful stuff. I like your tenacity. And maybe the final email to Mr. Wemba should be in Morse code. CC the message to some phony South African Internet Law enforcement Agency. Something like … —… (SOS) and a letter from Dick or Penelope. In Morse code of corse. Make references to law enforcement, the FBI, whatever. A bitch to decipher. I’m sure there must be a doper or program around that could do it. And at the end. Nice to talk to you, “I finally found my pigeon”. Kisses Dick D ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/109 "2004-03-20T07:55:44Z")
I know Morse if that would help you. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/110 "2004-03-20T08:51:24Z")
The following is the Johannesburg police web site. [http://www.joburg.org.za/metro\_police/index.stm](http://www.joburg.org.za/metro_police/index.stm) Just to get Austin to read the Morse, include a believable CC to someone like - johnbanner@joburg.org.za/met\_police (that address will bounce) John Banner was Sgt Shultz in Hogan’s Heros. I KNOW NOTHING! ---
**Author:** ![mindputty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@mindputty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mindputty)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/111 "2004-03-20T21:05:05Z")
I dread to think that Mr. Austin Wemba was flown the coop. Can anyone think of a way to get him back, or at least to bring some sort of finality to the Dick Dastardly saga? I daresay that it’s come to a point where there is no going back to something reasonable - it’s too absurd now. Perhaps Dick has been disposed of, but not before spilling the beans about the millions to his kidnappers, and they are on their way to SA to find Mr. Wemba and his millions, while posing as him? Penelope, utterly broken from the news of her fiancee’s death, reveals the evidence that she has found to the local police, who inform her that Mr. Wemba is in great danger (they found a note scrawled in blood from Dick’s last moments, warning of the kidnapper’s intentions to find Mr. Wemba). As such, an e-mail warning Mr. Wemba to seek refuge with the local police is sent to him, and that they are looking for him in order to protect his very life. This could be followed up by a phone call from the kidnappers to Mr. Wemba, posing as Dick (good thing you have a phone number, huh?), as well as frantic e-mails from Penelope urging Austin to seek refuge with the local police. Just an outlandish suggestion… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/112 "2004-03-20T22:27:31Z")
Sadly, it would appear that Austin now knows that Mr. Dastardly is not person of serious. But the good news it that he also knows that he himself is not person of much intelligent. I suppose \*\*Mangetout \*\* will have to comfort himself with the knowledge of a job well done. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/113 "2004-03-20T23:10:10Z")
I’ve sent one more desperate, pleading message from Penelope; if he doesn’t respond now, I think I’ll just contact Yahoo and have his account shut down (which probably won’t inconvenience him at all. I get up to a dozen scam emails per week and this has been my first attempt at the game; there will be more in future, possibly featuring Mr Richard Dastardly Esq. ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/114 "2004-03-22T03:49:02Z")
You know, for your next trick, you should try to set two of these guys up _with each other_. Suppose you get two e-mails, one from scammer A and one from scammer B, both located in Lagos or Johanesburg or wherever. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to maneuver scammer A into a face-to-face meeting with scammer B (while posing, of course, as pigeon C). Much hilarity will, no doubt, ensue. ---
**Author:** ![DrPlatypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d2c977/32.png) [@DrPlatypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrPlatypus)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/115 "2004-03-22T06:04:37Z")
> [@Truth Seeker](#): > > You know, for your next trick, you should try to set two of these guys up _with each other_. Suppose you get two e-mails, one from scammer A and one from scammer B, both located in Lagos or Johanesburg or wherever. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to maneuver scammer A into a face-to-face meeting with scammer B (while posing, of course, as pigeon C). Much hilarity will, no doubt, ensue. I think Truth Seeker is on to something here. If you get as many of these scams a week as I do, you could probably make contact with seven or eight scammers at a time. Try to have them all show up at the same airport at the same time, all holding signs saying “Dick Dastardly”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/116 "2004-03-22T06:14:24Z")
> [@DrPlatypus](#): > > I think Truth Seeker is on to something here. If you get as many of these scams a week as I do, you could probably make contact with seven or eight scammers at a time. Try to have them all show up at the same airport at the same time, all holding signs saying “Dick Dastardly”. 🙂 I second the idea, but I believe Mr. Dastardly might have lost a little credibility. Perhaps the next “victim” ought to be Pearl Slaghoople? –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/117 "2004-03-22T09:04:26Z")
Well, Mr Wemba’s email account is no more, thanks to a prompt response from [abuse@yahoo.com](mailto:abuse@yahoo.com)… I like the idea of trying to get two scammers to meet each other - I think that they would have to be in the same country to begin with - It would be nice to get one to fork out for a plane ticket, but I suspect that is an unattainable goal. My new persona will be Sir Ivor Small-Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/118 "2004-03-22T13:58:58Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > My new persona will be Sir Ivor Small-Johnson. I love it! I’ve been lurking over at [419 Eater](http://www.419eater.com/), and it looks like a great resource for scam-baiters. I’m not planning on baiting anyone myself at this time, but it sure is fun to see baiters in action. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/119 "2004-03-22T14:11:04Z")
Bravo, **Mangetout**. This has been a very entertaining counter-scam. Nice job! I look forward to “Fun and Games with two Mugus.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126/120 "2004-03-22T15:02:18Z")
**Mangetout** I nominate you for a Noble Prize for Best Comedic Writing. I bow before your greatness, sir. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-and-games-with-mr-austin-wemba/232126.md?page=7)