# Fun facts about Jack Bauer **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 21, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986 "2006-01-21T15:05:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/1 "2006-01-21T15:05:59Z")
[Thirty facts about Jack](http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty) It’s even better than the facts about Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/2 "2006-01-21T15:27:30Z")
It was only a matter of time. My favorite: > [@](#): > > Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/3 "2006-01-21T15:30:09Z")
I liked: “Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.” ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/4 "2006-01-21T17:39:30Z")
Ha! I liked: “Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.” ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/5 "2006-01-21T17:44:53Z")
Heh: > [@](#): > > Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he’s done it twice. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/6 "2006-01-21T18:00:44Z")
I also enjoyed: “1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.” ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/7 "2006-01-21T19:15:33Z")
My favorite: “Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk” ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/8 "2006-01-21T19:19:39Z")
I dunno… most of this just looks like boilerplate badass hyperbole, with a few terrorist references threw in. I did chuckle at the idea of Jack beating up kiefer sutherland. “Nobody _plays_ Jack Bauer, hollywood boy. Get that?! NOBODY!!” ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/9 "2006-01-21T19:28:04Z")
These are _hilarious_. I’m emailing them to my fellow _24_-watcher from high school. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/10 "2006-01-21T19:32:33Z")
I still think the Chuck Norris ones are funnier. And that settles it. In a fight to the death between Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer, Chuck would win, and Jack would die. But then Jack would come back to life. ---
**Author:** ![some\_white\_dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b487fb/32.png) [@some\_white\_dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/some_white_dude)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/11 "2006-01-21T21:02:32Z")
> [@](#): > > If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice. I like this one. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/12 "2006-01-21T22:01:58Z")
Best oogleGay adsay ever. (L_fe ins_rance) I wonder if Jack Bauer makes all his money that way. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/13 "2006-01-22T02:03:02Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > I still think the Chuck Norris ones are funnier. > > And that settles it. In a fight to the death between Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer, Chuck would win, and Jack would die. > > But then Jack would come back to life. After arguing over what was the better show, 24 or Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris went to attack Jack Bauer with his trademark roundhouse kick. Jack Bauer caught it. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/14 "2006-01-22T02:32:53Z")
> [@Kat](#): > > After arguing over what was the better show, 24 or Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris went to attack Jack Bauer with his trademark roundhouse kick. Jack cried, “If you do this, thousands will die!” and pumped fourteen rounds from his 9mm into Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/15 "2006-01-22T07:54:46Z")
“The real reason the Army ditched the Army of One campaign? Jack Bauer sued for copy right infringement.” Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/16 "2006-01-22T08:09:53Z")
Besides- Jack would fight that Army of One and kick its ass. But my favorite is this new-ish one: > [@](#): > > If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out. ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/17 "2006-01-22T08:27:40Z")
I like the Macguyver one as well. However, on the 93 people in 4 days. That is NOT a span of 96 hours it has been years from one season to the next. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/18 "2006-01-22T08:29:39Z")
> [@Meeko](#): > > However, on the 93 people in 4 days. That is NOT a span of 96 hours > > it has been years from one season to the next. Sure, but he’s killed 93 people in the four days we know about. That has to count for something. I forget how many people he’d killed in Season Five so far, but I I think he’s just passed 100 people in 100 hours. Take any 100 hours from anybody’s life and see if they come close to that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/19 "2006-01-22T08:36:06Z")
“Jack Bauer’s parents threw him a surprise party for his birthday when he was a child. Once.” That made me laugh out loud. My fact: Jack Bauer has not had a bowel movement in five years. It explains a lot. ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986/20 "2006-01-22T16:16:57Z")
“Jack Bauer can divide by zero.” Brilliant. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer/340986.md?page=2)