# Fun mis-hearings
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 13, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044 "2017-01-13T16:23:43Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/1 "2017-01-13T16:23:43Z")
So, being somewhat hard of hearing, I don’t always understand what is said, particularly on the TV. And the brain being what it is, it picks a word to fill in what I didn’t exactly catch.
This morning, there was a news story about a house fire where the fire fighters ended up rescuing three people and a cow. What the hell is a cow doing in an urban home? Sure, KC is considered a cow town by some, but that is ridiculous.
OK - it was actually three people and a _cat_, but I had to wait for the story to come around again on the guitar before I could find that out. My wife insisted they said three people and a child - she no longer gets to make fun of my hearing.
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### Author:  [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/2 "2017-01-13T16:32:52Z")
> [@Folacin](#):
>
> OK - it was actually three people and a _cat_, but I had to wait for the story to come around again on the **guitar** before I could find that out. My wife insisted they said three people and a child - she no longer gets to make fun of my hearing.
I must be getting hard of hearing too.
I could swear you said you heard the story on a “guitar”. 😕
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/3 "2017-01-13T16:39:02Z")
> [@gnoitall](#):
>
> I must be getting hard of hearing too.
>
> I could swear you said you heard the story on a “guitar”. 😕
Alice’s Restaurant reference. 🙂
We had a call at work one time from a lady with a heavy accent who wanted to tell us that she had a B-cup. Um, congratulations? Eventually we figured out she was calling for a specimen\* pickup.\*
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### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/4 "2017-01-13T17:23:38Z")
There was briefly a commercial for Tide detergent, that ran hear in Canada, that began with the announcer saying; “Tide asks Canadians…blah, blah, blah.”
Every time I heard it, I heard; “Tightass Canadians…”
I’m pretty sure that’s why it was so short lived!
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### Author:  [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/5 "2017-01-13T17:24:18Z")
My old Dad was dozing by the fire when Frank Sinatra started droning away on the radio.
Father stirred: “Wassat? What’s the fella singing about? “I did it sideways”? Silly arse!”
And dozed off again.
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### Author:  [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/6 "2017-01-13T17:33:54Z")
My husband and his dad were watching football, when his mom came in and asked a question about what was happening. Dad said something like “He’s talking to the coach in the press box.” Mom said “Coach Ivan Breadbox???”
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/7 "2017-01-13T18:02:23Z")
We are going to be hearing a lot soon about Nintendo’s Witch…
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/8 "2017-01-13T18:22:33Z")
> [@gnoitall](#):
>
> I must be getting hard of hearing too.
>
> I could swear you said you heard the story on a “guitar”. 😕
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> Alice’s Restaurant reference. 🙂
“And that’s what it is , the Alice’s Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement,
and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar.”
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### Author:  [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/9 "2017-01-13T20:14:30Z")
Boy, talk about [mis-shearing](https://www.google.com/search?q=bad+sheep+shearing&rlz=1C2CHFX_enUS688&biw=2133&bih=1194&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjdiJjt9r_RAhVK4iYKHWEkBFcQsAQILQ#imgrc=p4G0ytewirNPSM%3A)…
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/10 "2017-01-13T20:41:21Z")
A long long time ago, back when record players were the preferred method of listening to music, I had my stereo blasting and the phone rang. I answered it and it was my friend Lee. I said “Just a second, I gotta shut something off.” He said “I can call back.” I replied “No no, it’ll take just a second.”
(My friend Lee has a deep southern drawl. Thank Andy Griffith, about an octave lower.)
I ran into my room, turned off the stereo, and came back to the phone. “That was quick,” said Lee. I replied “I just had to shut something off.” He said “Oh, I thought you said you had to _shit something awful!_”
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### Author:  [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/11 "2017-01-13T21:17:17Z")
I have a friend who lives in Alabama, and has a lovely Deep South accent. We speak frequently while she’s making her long car commute. A few weeks ago we were chatting and all of a sudden she says “Dammit, I missed the stupid n\*\*\*\*\*!”
I was aghast, as she’s never displayed any type of racist tendencies. I told her I found what she said offensive and she replied “because I missed the stupid Niber exit??” 😃
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### Author:  [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/12 "2017-01-13T22:34:28Z")
I remember a guy I used to work with who told me a story about calling some place named “Living Environments”. The woman who answered the phone had a Southern (maybe Texas?) accent. When she said “Living Environments. How may I help you?” He did a double-take and said “What? Lemmings and Varmints?”
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2017, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/13 "2017-01-14T01:11:49Z")
> [@cochrane](#):
>
> “And that’s what it is , the Alice’s Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement,
> and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar.”
I’m not tired. Or proud.
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### Author:  [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2017, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/14 "2017-01-14T18:01:05Z")
Kenny Rogers song…
“You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, with 400 kids and a crop in the field!”
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### Author:  [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2017, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/15 "2017-01-14T23:40:23Z")
(mis)heard today: a commercial for Nugenix protein powder. “Eugenics powder?!!”
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### Author:  [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2017, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/16 "2017-01-15T00:07:09Z")
My beloved late Australian/NZ husband always called on his way home from work to ask if I needed him to pick up something from the market. One night we had guests coming to dinner, and I thought it would be nice to have some chocolate mint squares to serve with the after-dinner coffee. We frequently had these mint squares in the larder, so I figured he would know what I meant when I asked him to pick up some mints.
He came home with a pound of hamburger.
😃
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### Author:  [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2017, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/17 "2017-01-15T20:46:59Z")
“I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of oysters suddenly cried out in terror, were suddenly silenced.”
I only just learned the truth a week ago…
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### Author:  [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2017, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/18 "2017-01-16T00:26:32Z")
> [@Bear\_Nenno](#):
>
> “I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of oysters suddenly cried out in terror, were suddenly silenced.”
>
> I only just learned the truth a week ago…
I actually think I like your version better 🙂
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### Author:  [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2017, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/19 "2017-01-16T00:42:21Z")
I was being admitted to the hospital a number of years ago and the nurse was taking down my info and asked:
Nurse: “and a Mexican’s your mother?”
Me: “what??”
Nurse: “next of kin?”
Me: “bahahahahaha I thought you said ‘a Mexican’s your mother’”
Me and nurse: “bahahahahahaha!”
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### Author:  [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2017, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-mis-hearings/777044/20 "2017-01-16T01:15:39Z")
When mint Listerine first came out they bragged about that it was “the minty mouthwash”. My dad thought they were saying Mickey Mouse Watch.
For some reason my sister got the words hydrogen and hydrant mixed up.
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