# Fun nonsense on labels for personal care products **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 20, 2019, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-nonsense-on-labels-for-personal-care-products/835817 "2019-06-20T21:09:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2019, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-nonsense-on-labels-for-personal-care-products/835817/1 "2019-06-20T21:09:29Z")
> **[Personal care products](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_care#Products)** > > Personal care products are consumer products which are applied on various external parts of the body such as skin, hair, nails, lips, external genital and anal areas, as well as teeth and mucous membrane of the oral cavity, in order to make them clean, protect them from harmful germs and keep them in good condition. They promote personal hygiene and overall health, well-being and appearance of those body parts. Toiletries form a narrower category of personal care products which are used for basic... An old roommate had a shampoo bottle in the shower declaring “Now with aminoproteins!” I have no idea what that means. Nor did she. We’re both chemists. Makers of bar soap sometimes find it necessary for me to know that the soap is “French milled”. I see this sometimes in the little soaps they give you in hotels. I _think_ it means it’s been pressed through rollers a few times. I also think nobody cares. I’ve only used rosewater in food, but I guess some people use it as a perfume so it can count here. Check this out: [https://www.amazon.com/Heritage-Products-Rosewater-Petals-8-Ounces/dp/B001H54VJI](https://www.amazon.com/Heritage-Products-Rosewater-Petals-8-Ounces/dp/B001H54VJI) > [@](#): > > Superior Ingredients: Purified Water\*, Vegetable Glycerin, and Hydroessential Rose (Rosa Damascena). \*\*\*Water (Vor-Mag) has been vortexed and magnetized to raise the energy to a higher vibration that we believe to be more beneficial. \*\* I made some sort of pistachio rosewater pudding with it. AFAICT it did not raise my energy to a higher vibration. What do you see on products you buy/use/encounter that gives you a puzzled chuckle? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2019, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-nonsense-on-labels-for-personal-care-products/835817/2 "2019-06-20T21:24:53Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > AFAICT it did not raise my energy to a higher vibration. So, you’re still just at [the 49th vibration](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310281/quotes?ref_=tt_ql_trv_4), like the rest of us? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2019, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-nonsense-on-labels-for-personal-care-products/835817/3 "2019-06-20T21:27:02Z")
As to the question at hand, I remain absolutely gobsmacked that the current state of our world allows/necessitates statements like these: “Do not take this medication if you are allergic to this medication.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2019, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-nonsense-on-labels-for-personal-care-products/835817/4 "2019-06-21T09:56:57Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > “Do not take this medication if you are allergic to this medication.” “… or any of its ingredients.” Who checks the ingredients of every medication they take? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2019, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-nonsense-on-labels-for-personal-care-products/835817/5 "2019-06-21T10:53:52Z")
I’m trying to figure out what an “ingredient found in jellyfish” has to do with an alleged memory aid, especially since jellyfish don’t have brains. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2019, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-nonsense-on-labels-for-personal-care-products/835817/6 "2019-06-21T11:40:14Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I’m trying to figure out what an “ingredient found in jellyfish” has to do with an alleged memory aid, especially since jellyfish don’t have brains. That ad always makes me think of that 1959 Roger Corman film _The Wasp Woman_, in which a cosmetics executive starts using some sort of wasp extract and turns into the titular half-wasp, half-woman\* . I imagine dialogue like this: “Where’s grandpa? I haven’t seen him since he got back from the drugstore?” “I think he’s still in his bedroom.” “That’s odd. He’s been in there an awfully long time.” (Sounds of sloshing and wet slurping from behind the door) \*(although nowhere near as interesting as the poster image) > **[The Wasp Woman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wasp_Woman#/media/File:The_Wasp_Woman.jpg)** > > The Wasp Woman (also known as The Bee Girl and Insect Woman) is a 1959 American independent science-fiction horror film produced and directed by Roger Corman. Filmed in black-and-white, it stars Susan Cabot, Anthony Eisley, Michael Mark, Bruno VeSota and Barboura Morris. The film was originally released by Filmgroup on June 10, 1959 as a double feature with Beast from Haunted Cave (1959). To pad out the film's running time when it was released to television two years later, a new prologu In the... > **[The Wasp Woman (1959)](https://classicmovierev.com/the-wasp-woman-1959/)** > > The Wasp Woman (1959) is a nice little horror film directed by Roger Corman and starring Susan Cabot as the beauty turned wasp. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2019, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-nonsense-on-labels-for-personal-care-products/835817/7 "2019-06-21T11:46:15Z")
You know, the poster child for this thread has to be **Dr. Bronner’s Soap** [https://www.google.com/search?q=Dr.+Bronner+label&tbm=isch&source=hp&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiP4PvQv\_riAhVpUt8KHVvzBNsQsAR6BAgFEAE&biw=1440&bih=708](https://www.google.com/search?q=Dr.+Bronner+label&tbm=isch&source=hp&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiP4PvQv_riAhVpUt8KHVvzBNsQsAR6BAgFEAE&biw=1440&bih=708) [http://www.subgenius.com/updates/5-99news/X0007\_BRONNER.txt.html](http://www.subgenius.com/updates/5-99news/X0007_BRONNER.txt.html) > [@](#): > > ENJOY ONLY 2 COSMETICS, enough sleep 4 Dr. Bronner’s ‘Magic Soap’ to clean body-mind-soul-spirit instantly uniting One! All-One! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! For facial packs, scalp & soothing body rub, add dash on bath towel in sink of hot water. Wring out. Lay over face & scalp. Massage with fingertips. Repeat 3 or 4 times ‘til arms, legs and all are rubbed, always towards the heart. Rinse towel in plain hot water and massage again. Breathe deeply! Health is Wealth. Within 9 min. you feel fresh, and clean, saving 90% of your hot water & soap, ready to help teach the whole Human race the Moral ABC of All-One-God-Faith! For we’re All-One or none! ALL-ONE! ALL-ONE! ALL-ONE! TO SIMPLIFY & ENJOY LIFE MORE, DILUTE 1/2 OZ. OR 2 SQUIRTS OF THIS PURE CASTILE SOAP WITH 2 GALLONS OR SINKFUL HOT WATER, THEN TOWEL MASSAGE, A FACIAL PACK, THEN WRING TOWEL OUT & FINGERTIP MASSAGE YOUR HAIR & SCALP. ENJQY THE CREAMY EMOLLIENT LATHER ON BABY, BATH, BEACH, BODY, DENTURES, DEODORANT, SHAVING, AFTERSHAVE-SILK-WOOL-PETS-DIAPERS-CAR-HAND AND FOOT SOAP. Thank God we don’t descend down from perfect Adam’& Eve to sinful sinner, Brother’s Keeper, divided slave! United, hardworking-trained-brave, from dust we ascend up! Thank God for that! Our Brother’s Teacher of the Moral ABC mason Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free! If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you! …