# Fun Wilford Brimley Facts! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2006, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469 "2006-04-13T01:31:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/1 "2006-04-13T01:31:28Z")
In order to avoid highjacking [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=366987), I’ll start a new one. If Chuck Norris can have fun facts, so can Wilford Brimley. He did guest-star on _Walker, Texas Ranger_ after all. Come on, folks, let’s have 'em. Wliford Brimley is an immortal, who can only be killed via decapitation. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/2 "2006-04-13T02:20:36Z")
Wilford Brimley isn’t actually diabetic; he’s really a vampire. Liberty Medical is a front. Wilford Brimley’s blood has been replaced by Maple and Brown Sugar Quaker Oatmeal. Wilford Brimley is the reincarnation of William Howard Taft. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/3 "2006-04-13T02:27:31Z")
> [@brianjedi](#): > > Wilford Brimley is the reincarnation of William Howard Taft. _ahem_ I’m sure you _meant_ to say Teddy Roosevelt. Wilford Brimley once took ‘Best in Show’ at Westminster Kennel Club in an ugly face-off against a Boston Bull. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/4 "2006-04-13T02:30:49Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > _ahem_ I’m sure you _meant_ to say Teddy Roosevelt. > > Wilford Brimley once took ‘Best in Show’ at Westminster Kennel Club in an ugly face-off against a Boston Bull. I can see TR, but seriously, the resemblance to Taft is impressive as well. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/5 "2006-04-13T02:31:21Z")
Wilford Brimley isn’t his real name. It’s really Ashley Quincy Featherstone IV. And he’s a second cousin to Queen Elizabeth. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/6 "2006-04-13T02:35:55Z")
Wilford Brimely’s mustache is hiding an antena that he will use to contact the mother ship when he has readied humanity for the slaughter. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/7 "2006-04-13T02:39:06Z")
Wilford Brimely regularly burns his waffles. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/8 "2006-04-13T02:44:27Z")
Wilford Brimley is actually Chuck Norris’s future self. He traveled back from the year 23,072 to give his younger self guidance. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/9 "2006-04-13T02:53:22Z")
Wilford Brimley likes Ewoks, why don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/10 "2006-04-13T02:54:40Z")
Wilfred Brimley actually hunts down and kills every diabetic who does not check their blood sugar, and check it often. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/11 "2006-04-13T02:57:18Z")
Wilford Brimley’s house is a very, very, very fine house ---
**Author:** ![Crandolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Crandolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crandolph)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/12 "2006-04-13T03:01:37Z")
Wilford Brimley is suing ABC because “Laverne” and “Shirley” are the names of his left and right legs. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/13 "2006-04-13T03:26:25Z")
Wilford Brimley has slept with the Olson twins. Gertrude and Bernice Olson, of Miller South Dakota. ---
**Author:** ![Hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@Hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hombre)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/14 "2006-04-13T03:38:59Z")
Before he goes to sleep every night, Mr. Rogers checks under his bed for Wilford Brimley. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/15 "2006-04-13T03:43:10Z")
> [@Hombre](#): > > Before he goes to sleep every night, Mr. Rogers checks under his bed for Wilford Brimley. He probably hasn’t done that since 2003. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/16 "2006-04-13T03:44:28Z")
In 1875, a whaling vessel mistook Wilford Brimley for a walrus and harpooned him. There were no survivors. ---
**Author:** ![Hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@Hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hombre)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/17 "2006-04-13T03:44:51Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > He probably hasn’t done that since 2003. _That’s_ how scary Wilford Brimley is! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/18 "2006-04-13T03:46:58Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > He probably hasn’t done that since 2003. Except that Wilfred Brimley brought Mr. Rogers back to life just so he could continue to check under the bed for him. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/19 "2006-04-13T03:48:42Z")
Wilford Brimley has a violent hatred of long-range radio, and smashes any such equipment he comes across. This was the basis of a 1982 John Carpenter movie. ---
**Author:** ![Hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@Hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hombre)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469/20 "2006-04-13T04:02:56Z")
Wilford Brimley hates Carl Maulden because Wilford Brimley can say, “Has this ever happened to you …?” much, much better. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-wilford-brimley-facts/352469.md?page=2)