# Fun with church signs

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-with-church-signs/664373>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 24, 2013, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-with-church-signs/664373 "2013-07-24T10:41:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\
**Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-with-church-signs/664373/21 "2013-07-26T13:14:44Z")

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> [@Hari\_Seldon](#):
>
> This reminds of what my daughter told me once. When you get a fortune cookie, add the phrase “between the sheets” to your fortune. It is surprising how often it works. E.g., “You will have a good day…”

My personal favorite, which I carried with me for awihle:

“Behind every successful man, there are other able men.”

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**Author:** ![pope\_hentai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@pope\_hentai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pope_hentai)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-with-church-signs/664373/22 "2013-07-27T20:07:24Z")

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some friends of mine would mess with the signs all the time in small town tennessee. The greatest being the time they did a bit of work, and wound up with a sign that proudly announced “whore masturbate gods erection” on one side, and “ride me bad bill whee” on the other. I do often wonder how the annual pancake breakfast with Satan at the fire hall went though.

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**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fun-with-church-signs/664373/23 "2013-07-27T21:43:59Z")

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> [@robert\_columbia](#):
>
> Next time you are bored in church, leaf through the hymnal and mentally add “in bed” to the name of each hymn.
> 
> Like:
> 
> “How Great Thou Art”  
> “Jesus Lover of my Soul”  
> “Abide with Me”  
> “Jesus Loves Me This I Know”  
> “I Give You My Heart”  
> “Come, Thou Almighty King”  
> “Draw Me Close”  
> “Jesus Loves the Little Children”  
> “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us”  
> “The Risen Christ”  
> “Have Thine Own Way, Lord”  
> “Not What My Hands Have Done”  
> “Jesus Paid It All”  
> “I Am Thine, O Lord”

> [@Hari\_Seldon](#):
>
> This reminds of what my daughter told me once. When you get a fortune cookie, add the phrase “between the sheets” to your fortune. It is surprising how often it works. E.g., “You will have a good day…”
> 
> Once when I was in Pittsburgh, I saw a sign on a church on Forbes Ave. that said, “We deliver”.

[Upright Citizens Brigade has this covered](http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/thm5d1/upright-citizens-brigade-ucb--fortune-cookies).

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