Pandora’s Satchel
A tattered canvas bag which contained a number of minor ailments, irritations and confusions. One of these induced the sufferer to get Hermes and Perseus mixed up.
The Hamster King said:
Now I have to try.
Sphinxter: Mythical guardian of portals and passages with the head of a wman and the body of a lion. Men wishing to enter the passage must answer a riddle posed by the Sphinxter. Correctly answering the riddle will allow the man to enter and get shit. For an incorrect answer, the Sphinxter will immediately bite the man’s head off for trying.
Well, not exactly what everyone else is doing, but this was fun with mythology…
I used to run a website for mythology before I sold it off. Inevitably I would get email or message board posts from obnoxious kids who couldn’t be bothered to go find the information they needed for a school project. When they were particularly obnoxious in demanding I do their work for them I’d make something up.
Two of my favorites (forgot the exact wording I used, but this should be close enough):
Q: Who was the father of Heracles?
A: Testicles, the All-Father, whose followers largely consisted of soldiers and athletes. His symbol was two orbs.
Q: Who was the goddess of Friends?
A: Phoebe, though some sources say Monica or even Rachel
Herpes and Clamydia . . . the incurable romantics!
But… but… I was going to do Herpes! Except that it was going to be a take on harpies.
Cannubis (Egyptian)
The stoned god of the stone dead. Protector of tombs, Cannubis would prowl the corroders of the pyramids, looking for grave-robbers, or possibly a joint. Any thieves caught by this fearsome deity would be pinned to the ground and forced to listen to hours of “The, you know, cracks where, like, the bricks are joined together? It’s positively fractal, man.”
(Honorable mention goes to his sister Boobastis, the cat-headed, big-chested patroness of yiff).
Yelpie (Celtic)
Demonic water-spirit in the form of a dog, often a Chihuahua or Yorkie. The Yelpie lures victims into its reach by pretending to be a lost dog. When the unfortunate person bends down to pet it, the yelpie grabs his arm and pulls him underwater.
Aaaarrrrgonauts : a team of adventurers who turned pirate, and then went on a quest for the Golden Fleece; led by Capt Jason, arrrrrh!
The Hydrox
This fearsome creature would give people a glass of milk and a cookie… but every time you ate one, two more appeared in its place! You’d eat them, and two more appeared for each one you ate. Numerous mighty warriors died of ruptured stomachs, before Hercules discovered the secret: you have to unscrew the lid and eat the icing of each cookie- then, new ones won’t appear.
The Furries
They were deities of vengeance or supernatural personifications of the anger of the dead, but nowadays you see them at Anthrocon.
They still have the effect of driving their victims insane…
Dehydra- Grows new heads, just add water!
Minotourist- A monster with the head of a bull, the body of a man, and the bewildered look of an American lost in Athens. The Minotourist loves to take pictures of historic mazes, but, due to language problems, usually ends up at Alexander’s House of Ceramic Weasels (“Squeaky, the world’s largest pottery mustelid, is a must-see for first-time visitors to Greece!”) instead.
Mighty Morpheus, the Powerful Ranger
The Greek god of dreams which involve giant fighting robots. He is often seen wearing a mask while performing cheesy martial arts moves.
Fall TV season 2000 B. C.:
Achilles and the Harem: Forced to dress up as a woman and hide with King Lycomedes’ daughters by his mother, hilarity ensues as he tricks Mr. Ulysses into believing he’s a woman and avoids the advances of the King’s daughters at the same time!
Asclepius: Hugicles Laricus plays the irascible yet lovable Asclepius. Watch as he teaches the first Greek doctors while solving medical mysteries at the same time!
The Dukes of Rome: Romulus and Remus Dukes misadventures.
Meh.
Nothing but jumping chariots over the Tiber.
But look at that short toga on Bellis! Yowza!
The Kappa Phi Kappa - a turtle like Japanese monster, who prefers swilling beer and chasing chicks to most anything else. Very well connected, though.
Sea Trek: The adventures of Captain Jason of the seaship Argo and his crew. Boldly going where no one has been before.