# Funeral attendance **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2019, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593 "2019-05-07T00:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/21 "2019-05-07T13:39:32Z")
I currently live 1500 miles from where I grew up, most of my immediate family have passed away, and I don’t have more than a handful of close friends in the area, so I wouldn’t expect much attendance. Hell, I’d give it a miss if I could. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/22 "2019-05-07T15:19:18Z")
The funeral industry is one of the greatest scams ever created. Billions of dollars dumped down the drain annually for which we get zero in return. Those vultures created virtually every cultural end-of-life tradition we have so they could make more money off of grieving relatives. Isn’t granny worth a $30,000 funeral? I’m donating my body to science. If they don’t want it, it’s being cremated and dumped wherever is cheapest. If anybody cares enough to celebrate my life they can hold a wake. If I were to die tomorrow I don’t think anyone would do anything formal to mark the occasion. There’s two or three people who might show up for an informal gathering of some sort. And I’m fine with that. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/23 "2019-05-07T15:36:23Z")
> [@Pabitel](#): > > The funeral industry is one of the greatest scams ever created. Um, there have been funerals for literally thousands of years, well before a “funeral industry” existed. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/24 "2019-05-07T15:43:42Z")
> [@Pabitel](#): > > … > I’m donating my body to science. If they don’t want it, it’s being cremated and dumped wherever is cheapest. … I’m hoping [human composting](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-47031816) catches on! For some reason, my wife objects to my preference for kicking back at the nearest [body farm!](http://www.jeffersonbass.com/tour-the-body-farm.html) Heck, I even had my outfit picked out! Option 3 would be a [green burial.](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/22/smarter-living/green-funeral-burial-environment.html) ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/25 "2019-05-07T17:59:18Z")
I don’t attend funerals. I attended once once and it didn’t do anything for me. (I’m also pretty certain it didn’t do anything for the person who’d died.) I don’t care if nobody attends my funeral. I don’t care if I even _have_ a funeral. I don’t care whether I’m buried or cremated. (Though I’d rather not be overtly disrespected in death - no putting my head on a pike to be picked apart by crows, please.) I have made no provisions whatsoever for my death. Maybe I’ll start caring at some point in the future, or maybe I’ll just be rude and leave it for my relatives to do whatever seems most fun/mournful/emotionally satisfying/inexpensive at the time. Who knows? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/26 "2019-05-07T18:58:37Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Just yesterday I was musing on how there are some funerals where people attend because hey, it’s a chance to catch up with all the relatives; some which are attended because the deceased is someone you’re really going to miss; and yet some which would be even more popular if the attendees were allowed to verify that the casket is buried properly, face-down, with a raffle for the right to pee on the grave. > > So long as mine isn’t the third type I’m happy. I’m pretty sure the line to piss on my grave will be longer than then the line to get into wherever the mourning part is. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/27 "2019-05-07T19:45:12Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > But going back to the popularity thing… I did find the number of people mourning my father to be somewhat comforting. I thought he was awesome, and all those people there validated my feelings of his awesomeness. And i was grateful for the friends who showed up to pay their respects, and to comfort me. I wasn’t troubled by the small turnout for my grandmother because she’d outlived most of the people who cared about her. By more than two decades, in many cases. And she’s been dying for a few years. We, the immediate family, had already done a lot of our mourning, and didn’t really need a ton of social support. And we all knew that she had been ready to die for a while. It wasn’t a tragic death, it was a timely death. This is like it was for me. The church was packed for my dad, and the visitation had a line of people out the front door of the funeral home, according to one of the directors. My grandmother was just shy of her 108th birthday when she died. Nobody was left in her own generation, and it was already getting thinner in the next one down. To have outlived so many you have loved was sad I look forward to seeing her again someday. When did _ **I** _ get to be almost the oldest in the family gatherings? There is my mother, her sister, and one of my brothers-in-law, who are older. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/28 "2019-05-07T20:01:25Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve bequeathed a tidy sum of cash to my town to help defray the cost of crowd control for my funeral. Ohgawd, you win. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![HaroldDix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@HaroldDix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HaroldDix)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/29 "2019-05-07T21:40:09Z")
Who cares. I’m dead. Funerals are for the living not the dead. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/30 "2019-05-07T23:05:33Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Um, there have been funerals for literally thousands of years, well before a “funeral industry” existed. That doesn’t contradict **Pábitel** ’s statement. Yes, funerary rites are a culturally important human practice that’s attested as far back as hundreds of thousands of years, not just thousands. And yes, the modern US funeral industry is indeed [hugely exploitative and overpriced](https://timeline.com/jessica-mitford-funeral-industry-2a74b807ccfe). ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2019, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/31 "2019-05-08T03:09:31Z")
Perhaps but that there have been funerals and end-of-life traditions for thousands of years seems to contradict the idea that funeral industry “created virtually every cultural end-of-life tradition we have so they could make more money off of grieving relatives.” ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2019, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/32 "2019-05-08T05:09:30Z")
Few people, I suspect. If I were to die tomorrow, probably my two remaining brothers, and my remaining sister-in-law, probably 2-4 nephews and a couple cousins. One of my exes, probably too, but not my current gf. No friend or coworker would. Since I’ll be buried in a rural area where people have a lasting memory and attend burials, I can count on some remote family members from there that I haven’t seen in 25 years if they’re properly informed. So, 10-15 people, I would guess. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2019, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/33 "2019-05-08T14:52:57Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I am quite sure a lot of people will show up for my funeral. > Regards, > Shodan 🙂 I like that! ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2019, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/34 "2019-05-08T17:01:05Z")
Don’t waste time and money for my funeral. Just come and visit me at the [Body Farm](https://www.sciencefriday.com/educational-resources/forensic-entomology-body-farm/). ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2019, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/35 "2019-05-08T20:58:20Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > (Though I’d rather not be overtly disrespected in death - no putting my head on a pike to be picked apart by crows, please.) Meh, I don’t see why not. I’ve told my wife that “Right here on the property we have cement blocks, chain and a pond - all free and convenient!” ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2019, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/36 "2019-05-09T00:38:01Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I’ve been to a couple of funerals recently that were largely planned by the deceased. One was a concert followed by a lobster dinner. (Okay, that was a memorial service, held a month or more later.) Another was just a church funeral, but several of the people who spoke said, “Jerry requested this”, or “Jerry said it was okay to tell you that.” If you have the time and energy to do that, it’s quite nice for the people who attend. I know a gal that works in the funeral industry, and she says this idea is a growing trend. Those that do their own planning before hand are known to plan their “FUN!-eral.” I kind of like the idea, but I don’t know if Van Halen will be touring in 2077; although Diamond Dave would be a good solo act. . . [sub]he’ll probably still be kickin’ . . .[/sub] > [@Pabitel](#): > > I’m donating my body to science. If they don’t want it, it’s being cremated and dumped wherever is cheapest. If anybody cares enough to celebrate my life they can hold a wake. Seconded. When I’m gone, I won’t be using the body anymore. Let 'em have a wake, and then toast me\*. Hell, if they want, they can put a bust of me on a pedestal, but I don’t need to take up any real estate. - Note: this applies to whatever’s left after any potential industrial accidents or ‘occupational hijinks’. Tripler “I’m a dead gigolo, and everywhere I go, people knew the part I was playin’ . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2019, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/37 "2019-05-09T01:32:05Z")
A good friend of my wife’s died recently. At her request she was cremated immediately and there will be no memorial service either. The obituary notice in the paper asked that you drink a glass of wine in her memory. Which we did. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2019, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593/38 "2019-05-09T07:01:32Z")
Had I remained a Mormon living in Utah then there would probably be lots. I’m from a huge extended family. Mormons love to turn out for funerals so there would likely be a crowd from the congregation, even if I weren’t particularly well known. Simply have been a would be enough for many to show up. My father was a complete asshole and had 150+ show up. Here, none of my family would come over. Her family is much smaller. We don’t belong to a church. I’m in a 12 Step program, but it’s a small, English speaking group and I’m not that close with many of them. It really doesn’t matter to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funeral-attendance/833593.md?page=1)