# Fungus among us and a Virus near us! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2020, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147 "2020-05-04T22:09:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/1 "2020-05-04T22:09:19Z")
1. Sore throat 2. Thrush 3. Forked tongue 4. Psoriasis (oh the shame) 5. Dandruff flakes 6. Otitis Media 7. Swimmer’s ear 8. Ear wigs 9. Pierced ears 10. Chapped lips 11. Pursed lips 12. Put your lips together and just blow 13. Broken heart 14. Heart burn 15. Rumbly Tumbly 16. Shingles 17.Cow pox, Chicken pox, Small pox, oh heck, a pox on you sir 17. Belly button lint 18. Yeast infection 19. IBS 20. Crotch rot 21. Water on the knee 22. Shin splints 23. Achilles heel 24. Athletes foot 25. Missile toe 26. Bad pedicure. Opportunist infections, virus’ and fungi are gonna kill me. Guess how many of the list I’ve had. Add your own. The only thing I’m sure I don’t have is COVID 19. Yet. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/2 "2020-05-04T22:25:44Z")
Psoriasis is shameful? Thought it was more of a heartbreak. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/3 "2020-05-04T22:32:53Z")
Yep. Broken heart is #13. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/4 "2020-05-05T00:44:09Z")
Migraine Arthritis Amblyopia (yeah, yeah, go look it up) Hernia Osteoporosis High Blood Pressure High Cholesterol. \> Dreaded (and Dreadful) Syndrome X Diabetes Type 2. / Bum Knees Bad Arches Asthma Deviated Septum I’m sure there are lots more. (Do I get to do Mr VOW? He’s got interesting ones…) And yes, thank the Heavenly Host that I don’t have COVID-19. I don’t have the space on my spreadsheet to list it. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/5 "2020-05-05T00:45:09Z")
Oh, geez, I forgot everybody’s favorite Damn Near Deaf ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/6 "2020-05-05T01:01:23Z")
Rectum? Damn near killed him. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/7 "2020-05-05T02:11:16Z")
Silver in my hair Gold in my teeth Lead in my ass ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/8 "2020-05-05T08:39:20Z")
Well, a glaring neglected condition. **Insomnia** :smack: ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/9 "2020-05-05T15:58:44Z")
[Coroner]Pt. laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died.[/Coroner] ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/10 "2020-05-05T16:38:12Z")
Nobody’s mentioned prosopagnosia yet. > [@VOW](#): > > Amblyopia (yeah, yeah, go look it up) Just did, and I learned [a few things I didn’t know before](https://www.allaboutvision.com/en-ca/conditions/amblyopia/)! I had surgery for it when I was in Grade 6, and I thought it was _just_ “lazy eye”. I had no idea about the loss of vision caused by the brain ‘ignoring’ the misaligned eye. I was off school for a month, the first week being in the hospital, and much to my disappointment a teacher from the school _brought some homework to the house_… ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/11 "2020-05-05T16:54:12Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Nobody’s mentioned prosopagnosia yet. > > Just did, and I learned [a few things I didn’t know before](https://www.allaboutvision.com/en-ca/conditions/amblyopia/)! I had surgery for it when I was in Grade 6, and I thought it was _just_ “lazy eye”. I had no idea about the loss of vision caused by the brain ‘ignoring’ the misaligned eye. I was off school for a month, the first week being in the hospital, and much to my disappointment a teacher from the school _brought some homework to the house_… I did the whole “patch the good eye” but it didn’t work. While nobody actually said anything, I got the impression that I “didn’t try hard enough.” Forget the fact that the vision in my bad eye is so lousy that I’m legally blind in that eye. I can read the big “E” at the top of the chart, and that’s it. I can’t read much at all. It’s like looking through a screen. The premise behind patching the good eye is to “train” the bad eye to get busy. I had an ophthalmologist tell me just a few years ago that the whole “training the bad eye” is [del]bullshit[/del] balderdash. That portion of the brain is not wired correctly. What a comfort to know that I’m not a quitter, I’m brain-damaged instead. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/12 "2020-05-05T18:23:13Z")
They’re coming to take me away, ha ha. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2020, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/13 "2020-05-05T23:32:26Z")
**~VOW** , I’m brain damaged as well. (Must be genetics, my Sister) I wore the patch through 1st grade. The summer after 1st grade I had the surgery. Didn’t work much. I still have a Lazy eye occasionally. Goes well with my Lazy ass. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/14 "2020-05-06T00:03:11Z")
But is it as cute? D&R ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/15 "2020-05-06T19:10:11Z")
When very young, I fell from a moving car (climbed out back window before restraints existed) and cracked my skull, hospitalized a long time, so that’s one excuse. Years later my head (with me under it) suffered hundreds of wasp sings so I’m addled by venom, another alibi. See, none of it’s my fault! What’s Trimp the Chimp’s excuse? Was he dropped on his head? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/16 "2020-05-07T01:35:12Z")
**RioRico** , are you my baby brother? I’m surprised you’re able to type on a keyboard, if you are. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/17 "2020-05-07T02:22:59Z")
Things I have actually had: Cellulitis Kidney stones (x3!) Bell’s palsy Things that just sound bad: Dropsy Pleurisy Anal fissures ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/18 "2020-05-07T02:24:04Z")
(double post) ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fungus-among-us-and-a-virus-near-us/853147/19 "2020-05-07T23:36:35Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > **RioRico** , are you my baby brother? > I’m surprised you’re able to type on a keyboard, if you are. 🙂 I used to daydream about you. Then you died. But you’re back! _¡Ay carumba!_