# Funniest Engrish Ever! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 17, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299 "2005-05-17T21:21:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/1 "2005-05-17T21:21:47Z")
We all know and love [Engrish](http://www.engrish.com). It never fails to crack me consistently up. But [this one](http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=emergency-provisions.jpg&category=Clothing&date=2005-04-20) just tops everything else: > [@](#): > > This child is my friend! > Occasionally it also becomes emergency provisions :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/2 "2005-05-17T21:50:03Z")
I don’t think that really counts as “Engrish.” It seems like it’s intended to be humourous. The “child” pictured on the shirt is ambulatory pork. My favourite real-world example comes from a brief period where I worked at a mushroom farm (which was really more of a mushroom factory.) When filling the shelves with freshly inoculated jars of mushrooms, this girl would be climbing the shelves with one leg on either side of a narrow corridor. I’d be underneath her, and behind, passing up trays. So most of the time her ass would be in my face. An ass that was frequently decorated with unlicenced Sanrio bootleg jeans. Yes, they were emblazoned with _Hello, Pussy!_ on the ass. ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/3 "2005-05-17T22:12:33Z")
Is that anything like [Chinglish](http://snewpy.com/news/gadgets/viza_manual/)? > [@](#): > > When sparking, must be lock the steering bar to avoid to theft. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/4 "2005-05-17T23:57:55Z")
[This one is so good, I’m tempted to suspect Photoshop](http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=titan-uranus.jpg&category=Engrish%20from%20Other%20Countries&date=2005-04-29) ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/5 "2005-05-18T00:04:19Z")
All your base are belong to us. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/6 "2005-05-18T00:06:23Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > [This one is so good, I’m tempted to suspect Photoshop](http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=titan-uranus.jpg&category=Engrish%20from%20Other%20Countries&date=2005-04-29) LOL!!! It toom me a second or two… Had to repeat it a couple of times to myself before I sprayed coffee all over my keyboard and monitor! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/7 "2005-05-18T00:56:23Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > [This one is so good, I’m tempted to suspect Photoshop](http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=titan-uranus.jpg&category=Engrish%20from%20Other%20Countries&date=2005-04-29) When I saw that one, the first thing I thought was what a great username it would be. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/8 "2005-05-18T09:35:54Z")
It looks like a 'shop. Around the words, there’s the weird graining/smudging that ususally accompanies a bad attempt to blend pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/9 "2005-05-18T09:58:41Z")
That’s what I first suspected, but it could just be JPEG compression artifacts - it is a high-contrast area, after all - something JPEGs don’t cope well with. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/10 "2005-05-18T10:01:31Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > It never fails to crack me consistently up. [Then you better lay off of this stuff.](http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=crack-sandwich.jpg&category=Engrish%20from%20Other%20Countries&date=2005-04-25) ---
**Author:** ![kellner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kellner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellner)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/11 "2005-05-18T10:15:28Z")
> [@Sierra Indigo](#): > > It looks like a 'shop. Around the words, there’s the weird graining/smudging that ususally accompanies a bad attempt to blend pictures. I don’t know, but the ship seems to exits. At least appears in the [Hong Kong Ship Registry](http://www.mardep.gov.hk/en/pub_services/shipname.html). Unfortunately my Acrobat Reader complains about a missing extension for traditional Chinese, but it can be found in [Google’s HTML version](http://www.google.com/search?q=cache:BK5Pnl6gkCgJ:www.mardep.gov.hk/en/pub_services/pdf/shipreg_a_z.pdf&hl=de&client=firefox-a). ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/12 "2005-05-18T10:16:51Z")
Only one way to find out… I’ve just signed up for a free trial of Lloyds Shipping Register Online. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/13 "2005-05-18T12:34:36Z")
Titan Uranus? Malarkey? or Effective Way? ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/14 "2005-05-18T12:38:12Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Only one way to find out… I’ve just signed up for a free trial of Lloyds Shipping Register Online. I am quite impressed with your dedication to finding the truth and stamping out ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/15 "2005-05-18T14:06:51Z")
Beaten to the punch by **kellner** though - it’s the name of a real ship - an oil tanker - this ship looks like an oil tanker - there are the same kind of image degradation artifacts around the IMO number (which there would seem to be no reason to photoshop, unless it’s an elaborate double-bluff… naah) - in short, there’s no good reason to believe it isn’t a genuine photo of the good ship Titan Uranus, God bless 'er. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/16 "2005-05-18T14:16:59Z")
My favorite is this [Dragonball Z toy instruction card](http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=dragonballtoy.jpg&category=Instructions&date=2002-10-07) “Prythee no sport with stingy or play asperity game” ??? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/17 "2005-05-18T14:27:00Z")
Good lord, that’s atrocious! How is it actually possible to translate something that badly? Did they just do a character-for word transliteration or something? ---
**Author:** ![mittu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@mittu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mittu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/18 "2005-05-18T14:41:52Z")
Wow, that is a helluva translation there **h.sapiens**. I think I would have more luck understanding it if they left it in Japanese. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/19 "2005-05-18T18:05:38Z")
I remember a restaurant I was at once had disposable wooden chopsticks with a paper wrapper that said (IIRC), “Please enjoy using chopsticks, traditional of great Chinese culture.” Traditional what, I wonder. Traditional eye-gouging tools. Traditional novelty walrus tusks. Traditional method of picking up something really gross without having to touch it. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299/20 "2005-05-18T18:23:28Z")
I wish I had a scanner. The chinese restaurant down the street from me has a item on the menu listed as “BBQ Pork Hunk”. I haven’t been brave enough to try it yet. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-engrish-ever/304299.md?page=2)