From Se7en:
I was sure one of those The Wire ones was going to be the lie detector scene. That was gold.
Breaking Bad has quite a lot of good ones though. I like Skyler playing the dumb blonde to get out of embezzlement charges (“I just put the figures in the Quicken…”) and the Badger sting
Snoop Buys A Nail Gun is one of my favorites from that show. I’m considering watching the whole thing again.
There’s also the scene in The Wire where Bodie has to ride to Philadelphia to pick up a drug shipment. Bodie has never been outside of Baltimore before, and as the Baltimore radio station they’re listening to fades, they pick up a Philadelphia station airing A Prairie Home Companion. Bodie’s reaction is priceless. “This is a Philadelphia station? I don’t know why anyone’d want to leave Baltimore.”
Janice killed Richie which is why she’s going back to Seattle and makes their goodbye conversation even funnier.
“All in all, though, I’d say it was a pretty good visit.”
Not a joke per se, but Badger’s Star Trek script is priceless.
Funnier Se7en / desk bit.
I don’t why I’ve seen it a gazillion times, but in “The Andromedra Strain”, near the beginning, when they’re investigating the first attacked town, a curious scientist leans over a corpse, rips down his (the corpse’s!) pants, and says, “look at his butt”, prompting hyper-serious actor Arthur Hill to respond, “That’s not funny!”
I guess you had to be there, but I still howl after, yes, the gazillionth time after hearing that.
Jack Nicholson looked pretty funny clowning around with his bandaged nose in “Chinatown”. And telling dirty jokes at maybe not the right time.
Gunnery Sargeant Hartman’s choice of verbiage in “Full Metal Jacket”. And Animal’s “I’ll skip the foreplay” line. And I guess there’s the “lighten up Francis” thing, too.
“Lighten up, Francis” is from Stripes.
Chris Pratt actually had a couple of funny Chris Pratt-esq lines in the otherwise dark Zero Dark Thirty.
“I got plans for after this. Big time! I want to talk to all of you about it!”Dear Jebus, I love that line.
Huh, ok then.
Don’t know how I got it in my head that there was some FMJ tent scene with trash talking and thought for some reason that that line came up.
In one of the Godfathers, drunken buddy who mixes up ‘canapes’ with ‘can of peas’ unintelligibly tries to get the bandleader to play something in particular, as the latter obliges with “Pop Goes the Weasel” on the clarinet, which the rest of the band quickly picks up on.
In “All the President’s Men”, Redord does a double-take at Hoffman smoking in an elevator and asks something along the lines of - Is there anywhere where you don’t smoke?
Buck Henry and Richard E. Grant pitching goofy film treatments in “The Player”.
The one that stands out for me in Breaking Bad was from the episode where they were stuck out in the desert for three days. At one point in the middle of the show, Jesse barks something like “why don’t you build us a robot to get us out of here?”
In the end, Walt comes up with a solution to get the motor home started, and says “you said it yourself” to Jesse. Jesse gets this look of complete awe on his face and asks, like a little kid, “you’re gonna build a robot?” “No, a battery!”
Law & Order had a lot of zingers, like Lennie Briscoe realizing he was in a gay bar: “Two boys for every…boy?”
Buffy the Vampire Slayer was hard-wired for some humor. Buffy’s best quip came right before she shredded a demon: “Wanna see my Gandhi impression?”
The better double take, IMHO, is the one Bernstein (Hoffman) gives Woodward (Redford) when he admits to being a Republican.
Also “The Player”, Whoopie asking the eye witness where her mother’s buried.
“The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974),” is chock-full of dark humor; my fave:
Transit cop Walter Matthau gets the drop on hi-jacker Robert Shaw. Shaw offers a substantial bribe. Matthau responds Quarter of a million? No, thanks. My accountant says I’ve accepted enough for this fiscal quarter.
Another Sopranos
The Shining has a couple of good ones.
Nightmare on Elm Street is full of them.
That being said, I’m weird when it comes to horror movies. I laugh at a lot of stuff that isn’t intended to be funny. Watched “It” chapter two last night and found myself snickering at a few of the scenes. Like the giant lumber jack for instance.
“well, he was really pissed off!”