# Funniest line you saw coming a mile away **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 22, 2008, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760 "2008-02-22T19:27:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/21 "2008-02-22T21:41:59Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] He was expecting someone to chime in “Not Constantinople”. [/QUOTE] If you’re waiting for a line in Constantinople, it’ll be set up in Istanbul. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/22 "2008-02-22T22:05:58Z")
[QUOTE=Mr Shine] Yes, I know that. Still not seeing the joke, or why it’s ‘obvious’ [/QUOTE] Oh don’t mind them. Apparently him and his friends are such They Might Be Giants (musical group) geeks that not knowing the lyrics to one of their songs popular from the 80’s is a major faux pas. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/23 "2008-02-22T22:12:04Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] From “Night Court”: Harry: Bull, how could you lose a dead Japanese industrialist? Bull: He outsmarted me, sir. Harry: Outsmarted you? He’s dead - a corpse is a corpse! Dan: Of course, of course. [/QUOTE] Alright, that does it, Night Court is now in my Netflix queue. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/24 "2008-02-22T22:13:05Z")
Can’t remember any really good ones, just this thing from _The Simpsons_: Homer (nearly) runs into a deer with his car. The following comments are made: Homer: D’oh! Marge: A deer! Lisa: A female deer. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/25 "2008-02-22T22:16:15Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] Oh don’t mind them. Apparently him and his friends are such They Might Be Giants (musical group) geeks that not knowing the lyrics to one of their songs popular from the 80’s is a major faux pas. [/QUOTE] Okay, all together now, [here’s the damn song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsQrKZcYtqg&feature=related), for those who slept through the early 1990’s. No more complaints or head-scratching. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/26 "2008-02-22T22:21:51Z")
[QUOTE=Bayard] Last night, I was watching a _WKRP_ I hadn’t seen before. A group of Japanese radio execs are touring WKRP, and due to a snafu, they were assigned a Spanish interpreter rather than someone who speaks Japanese. So, no one can communicate with the Japanese guys. Mr Carlson, trying to be useful, declares, “I learned some Japanese when I was in the Marines. The accent might be a little off, but…” And everyone can see it coming like the 5 o’clock train. He clears his throat, thinks for a beat, and belts out something in Japanese. Immediately the guests put their hands in the air. I still laughed. [/QUOTE] Mine is the one in Hudsucker Proxy where Norville Barnes says something to woman in Finish, she screams, and her husband punches him. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/27 "2008-02-22T22:40:52Z")
Spaceballs: After the earlier “1 2 3 4 5” combination setup scene… Mel Brooks: “That’s the same combination I have on my luggage!” ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/28 "2008-02-23T16:27:10Z")
[QUOTE=Bayard] Last night, I was watching a _WKRP_ I hadn’t seen before. A group of Japanese radio execs are touring WKRP, and due to a snafu, they were assigned a Spanish interpreter rather than someone who speaks Japanese. So, no one can communicate with the Japanese guys. Mr Carlson, trying to be useful, declares, “I learned some Japanese when I was in the Marines. The accent might be a little off, but…” And everyone can see it coming like the 5 o’clock train. He clears his throat, thinks for a beat, and belts out something in Japanese. Immediately the guests put their hands in the air. I still laughed. [/QUOTE] I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/29 "2008-02-23T16:36:59Z")
[QUOTE=Spatial Rift 47] I don’t get it. [/QUOTE] If he learned Japanese while in the Marines, he probably wouldn’t have learned anything useful for civiliam life. Certainly nothing like “please sit down and join me for coffee.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/30 "2008-02-23T16:39:09Z")
[QUOTE=Spatial Rift 47] I don’t get it. [/QUOTE] As a Marine, the Japanese he learned was a command to surrender. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/31 "2008-02-23T16:39:14Z")
[QUOTE=Spatial Rift 47] I don’t get it. [/QUOTE] WKRP was a show produced in the late 70s. So he’s a guy in his 50s with experience with the Marines in Japan = 30+ years in his past = there for the post WW2 occupation. So when he shouts one of the phrases he learned in Japanese (and he did shout it), they raise their arms in surrender or compliance. It’s one of those “you had to be there” things I guess. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/32 "2008-02-23T16:45:43Z")
It’s not a line, it’s a scene, but it’s in _Triplets of Belleville_, when one of the sisters goes frogging with a grenade. My ex-to-be and I figured out about 30 seconds before everyone else in the theater did what was about to happen and couldn’t stop laughing. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/33 "2008-02-23T17:03:11Z")
Another one from _Spaceballs_: The villains are pursuing the heroes’ spaceship. The hero give the order “Jam their radar!” The camera shifts to an exterior shot of the radar dish on the villains’ ship. There is a brief pause, long enough for you to think to yourself, “Nah, that’s too easy. Brooks wouldn’t go for something _that_ obvious.” It turns out, he would. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/34 "2008-02-23T17:41:23Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] As a Marine, the Japanese he learned was a command to surrender. [/QUOTE] Aha! Yes, that is funny. 🙂 (For some reason I was picturing “put their hands in the air” as a single hand each) ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/35 "2008-02-23T17:55:23Z")
[QUOTE=mbh] Another one from _Spaceballs_: The villains are pursuing the heroes’ spaceship. The hero give the order “Jam their radar!” The camera shifts to an exterior shot of the radar dish on the villains’ ship. There is a brief pause, long enough for you to think to yourself, “Nah, that’s too easy. Brooks wouldn’t go for something _that_ obvious.” It turns out, he would. [/QUOTE] But the best part is that the jam then _runs down the radar screen_. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/36 "2008-02-23T18:43:24Z")
I remember a lot lines in Spaceballs turned on this kind of humor. “Comb the desert”. And the Planet of the Apes ending. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/37 "2008-02-23T18:47:23Z")
[QUOTE=Dinsdale] In last night’s ep of **Supernatural** , an FBI agent shot a fellow law enforcement official while possessed by a demon. When he came to, he expressed disbelief and regret, saying _“I shot the sheriff.”_ I don’t care how predictable the next line was, it still cracked me and my kids up when it was said. Got any other examples where you just knew what was coming, but loved it when it came nonetheless? [/QUOTE] You know, I was thinking about that Supernatural when I read your title. When the FBI guy said “I shot the sheriff,” I turned to my wife to say “but he did not shoot the deputy” and Dean Winchester beat me to it. 😃 I laughed so hard I started coughing. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/38 "2008-02-23T20:07:17Z")
Not a line, exactly, but when I first saw “LA Confidential” and the name of Johnny Stompanato was mentioned, I knew that a “hooker cut to look like Lana Turner/ no, it’s really Lana Turner” joke was coming up. They did not disappoint. (For those unfamiliar with old Hollywood scandals, please see [Johnny Stompanato - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Stompanato)) ---
**Author:** ![Subway\_Prophet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Subway\_Prophet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subway_Prophet)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/39 "2008-02-23T21:25:37Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Mapp] (For those unfamiliar with old Hollywood scandals, please see [Johnny Stompanato - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Stompanato)) [/QUOTE] Here’s a punchline I never saw coming: > [@the wikipedia article](#): > > During one incident, Stompanato stormed onto a movie set, and pointed a gun at actor Sean Connery, her costar in Another Time, Another Place, only to have Connery take the gun from him, beat him, and force him from the movie set. My respect for Mr. Connery just went up a notch. Of course, it was a _YOUNG_ Sean Connery that did this. But still. Apologies for the hijack. ---
**Author:** ![t-mobileguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@t-mobileguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-mobileguy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760/40 "2008-02-24T00:59:48Z")
[QUOTE=Gadarene] Hey, even old New York was once New Amsterdam. [/QUOTE] Why’d they change it? (Nothing like beating a dead horse 😃 ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-line-you-saw-coming-a-mile-away/438760.md?page=3)