# Funniest Lines of the Year. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 23, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974 "2005-12-23T15:05:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/21 "2005-12-25T03:18:29Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > So the people involved came out with a lovely string of bullshit when they were called on it instead of saying, “Yeah, it was racism.” Amazing. Simply amazing. And I am supposed to believe it simply because you do. That would be amazing, too. This is gonna be a hijack, 'cuz those people did the right thing journalistically. It’s been discussed elsewhere and you should probably look for those threads. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/22 "2005-12-25T03:30:25Z")
One that made me laugh: From _Serenity_ "Goin’ on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries! " ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/23 "2005-12-25T04:08:28Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > This is gonna be a hijack, 'cuz those people did the right thing journalistically. It’s been discussed elsewhere and you should probably look for those threads. Don’t even bother. EC can’t resist shitting his political opinions into threads that they don’t beling in ( like, oh, I dunno, THIS ONE), and he routinely ignores any facts which belie his sense of outrage. Just smile and nod the same way you would react to a loonie old uncle babbeling at a family gathering and you’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![raindog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@raindog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raindog)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/24 "2005-12-25T04:40:54Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > So the people involved came out with a lovely string of bullshit when they were called on it instead of saying, “Yeah, it was racism.” Amazing. Simply amazing. And I am supposed to believe it simply because you do. That would be amazing, too. Simply amazing. The photographer _himself_, in his _own words_, described what _he_ saw, _how_ and _why_ he reported it that way, including the parameters of his reporting. But you know better, right? Yea, simply amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/25 "2005-12-25T05:15:53Z")
> [@Weirddave](#): > > Just smile and nod the same way you would react to a loonie old uncle babbeling at a family gathering and you’ll be fine. How do you know my uncles? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/26 "2005-12-25T05:53:44Z")
“You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do. Matt, Matt-you’re glib.” -Tom Cruise “Brownie, you’re doin’ one hell of a job.”-George W. Bush Then, after he said pretty much the same thing to the task force devoted to AIDS research, Jon Stewart said: “Oh my god-WE’RE ALL GETTING AIDS!!!” Here’s a good one: “You have to FOLLOW MY DIRECTIONS TO THE LETTER!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/27 "2005-12-25T05:58:26Z")
One I just remembered: “We had sex on his pool table-the balls flew everywhere.”-nanny Daisy Wright, describing her fling with her former employer, Jude Law ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/28 "2005-12-25T13:55:05Z")
DING! DING! DING! ::: Moderator rings bell ::: This forum is for discussion of arts and entertainment. As such, I think we’re looking for INTENTIONALLY funny lines, that were meant to be funny as entertainment. Unintentionally funny political comments are out of bounds here. If you want to comment on those, start a different thread in a different forum. Thus, comments about inadvertently idiotic newspaper headlines or mis-statements by (or about) politicians, or similar political commentary have no place here. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/29 "2005-12-25T17:05:17Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Kanye West - “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” > > What? [south park] George Bush doesn’t care about beavers! [/sp] ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/30 "2005-12-25T17:18:00Z")
Something that makes me laugh out loud whenever I think of it, although I don’t know how many other people will find it funny. The Fairly Oddparent’s Cosmo: “Pudding! Ahahaha! He said ‘puh’ and then he said ‘ding’! Ahahaha!” ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/31 "2005-12-25T17:22:44Z")
I’d like to add: Only on the Dope can you show people Barbara Eden’s boob and the only thing anybody wants to talk about are the words beside the picture. That’s why I love this place. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/32 "2005-12-25T17:25:51Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I’d like to add: Only on the Dope can you show people Barbara Eden’s boob and the only thing anybody wants to talk about are the words beside the picture. That’s why I love this place. Wrong thread, **Biggirl.** ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/33 "2005-12-25T17:28:40Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Wrong thread, **Biggirl.** Too much egg nog and too many windows open. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/34 "2005-12-25T17:56:46Z")
Does it have to be _from_ a mass-media source of entertainment? This is _related_ to one: I got my girlfriend to watch _Planet of the Apes_ (1968). She liked the music; I mentioned it was done by Jerry Goldsmith. Girlfriend: He’s a good composer. Me: He just died recently. Girlfriend: Then he’s a decomposer! Yeah, she’s a card. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/35 "2005-12-25T18:04:17Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Does it have to be _from_ a mass-media source of entertainment? This is _related_ to one: > > I got my girlfriend to watch _Planet of the Apes_ (1968). She liked the music; I mentioned it was done by Jerry Goldsmith. > > Girlfriend: He’s a good composer. > Me: He just died recently. > Girlfriend: Then he’s a decomposer! > > Yeah, she’s a card. You’re a lucky guy! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/36 "2005-12-25T19:43:55Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > DING! DING! DING! ::: Moderator rings bell ::: > > This forum is for discussion of arts and entertainment. As such, I think we’re looking for INTENTIONALLY funny lines, that were meant to be funny as entertainment. Unintentionally funny political comments are out of bounds here. If you want to comment on those, start a different thread in a different forum. Thus, comments about inadvertently idiotic newspaper headlines or mis-statements by (or about) politicians, or similar political commentary have no place here. Okay, I guess my comment by Kanye West was out of bounds then. In all fairness, however, my husband and I are _still_ laughing about it. Entertainers getting political always makes us titter. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/37 "2005-12-25T19:47:24Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Does it have to be _from_ a mass-media source of entertainment? This is _related_ to one: > > I got my girlfriend to watch _Planet of the Apes_ (1968). She liked the music; I mentioned it was done by Jerry Goldsmith. > > Girlfriend: He’s a good composer. > Me: He just died recently. > Girlfriend: Then he’s a decomposer! > > Yeah, she’s a card. Or a Monty Python fan. [http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/62645/Monty\_Python/Decomposing\_Composers](http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/62645/Monty_Python/Decomposing_Composers) > [@](#): > > Chorus: They’re decomposing composers, > There’s nothing much anyone can do, > You can still hear Beethoven, > But Beethoven cannot hear you. > > … > > Chorus: They’re decomposing composers, > There’s less of them every year, > You can say what you like to Debussy, > But there’s not much of him left to hear. ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/38 "2005-12-25T19:52:09Z")
> [@The Long Road](#): > > _The Ringer_ commercial: > > “I can count to potato” > > I started laughing at dinner about this and my wife asked me “what the hell is so funny about it?”. Sadly, I have no idea. Oh, yes! My daughter can do a dead-on impression of that. Cracks me up every time. And I have no idea why either. 😛 My vote would be yet another Earl quote. Randy: "It’s Karma’s army! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/39 "2005-12-25T19:57:37Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Too much egg nog and too many windows open. Where is the picture of Miss Eden’s boob? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974/40 "2005-12-25T20:22:05Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Where is the picture of Miss Eden’s boob? Here: > **[Would Jeanie have submitted to Colonel Nelsons carnal desires if he commanded...](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=351085)** > > Re I Dream Of Jeannie Just curious. Was she duty bound to obey or could she say no? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-lines-of-the-year/336974.md?page=3)