# Funniest Maggie Simpson Lines

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [October 15, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665 "2003-10-15T23:10:55Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\
**Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/1 "2003-10-15T23:10:55Z")

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Shortest … thread … ever.

😃

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**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\
**Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/2 "2003-10-15T23:14:54Z")

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\<sucks on pacifier\>

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**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\
**Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/3 "2003-10-15T23:34:16Z")

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It’s your fault i can’t talk!

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**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\
**Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/4 "2003-10-15T23:36:31Z")

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AHAHA!!! What about:  
_suck_,_suck_,_suck_

Or:  
_suck_,_suck_,_suck_

And who can forget:  
_suck_,_suck_,_suck_

Comic genius! 😃

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**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\
**Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/5 "2003-10-15T23:42:52Z")

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“I have soiled myself. How embarrassing.”

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**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\
**Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/6 "2003-10-15T23:46:32Z")

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“Da-Dee”

awwwwwwwwwwww

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**Author:** ![Moo\_the\_Magic\_Cow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@Moo\_the\_Magic\_Cow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moo_the_Magic_Cow)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/7 "2003-10-16T00:00:24Z")

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“I want what the dog’s eating.”

You win, Dooku.

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**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/8 "2003-10-16T00:28:10Z")

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" … …"

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**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/9 "2003-10-16T00:47:27Z")

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**BANG!**

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**Author:** ![voxnihili](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@voxnihili](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voxnihili)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/10 "2003-10-16T00:57:01Z")

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**"This is indeed a disturbing universe."**  
-Treehouse of Horror 5 (It’s the James Earl Jones voice that does it)

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/11 "2003-10-16T01:12:11Z")

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“We want a society where people are free to make choices, to make mistakes, to be generous and compassionate. This is what we mean by a moral society; not a society where the state is responsible for everything, and no one is responsible for the state.”

Oops - [wrong Maggie!](http://womenshistory.about.com/library/qu/blquthat.htm)

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**Author:** ![Dizzy\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dizzy\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dizzy_Fingers)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/12 "2003-10-16T01:46:14Z")

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Daddily-Doodily!

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**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/13 "2003-10-16T07:10:18Z")

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Homer: C’mon, Maggie, let’s go home.  
Maggie: Very well. I’ll drive! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA! I need blood.

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**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/14 "2003-10-16T07:17:13Z")

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Homer: The  
food at the Gilded Truffle really … What’s a good word?  
Maggie: _suck_  
Homer: Sucks! That’s great!

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**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/15 "2003-10-16T07:23:04Z")

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\*\*

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**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/16 "2003-10-16T09:54:08Z")

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Homer: Doesn’t that girl ever stop talking!

(a visions of the future episode)

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/17 "2003-10-16T16:55:59Z")

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\<falls down\>

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/18 "2003-10-16T17:30:49Z")

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After Homer and Marge rescue the kids from a baptism by Ned Flanders:

Marge: Oh, Maggie! You’re a Simpson again!  
Maggie: [belches]

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**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/19 "2003-10-16T19:32:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \*  
> \*\*Maggie: [belches] \*\*

Homer: You hear that? She said burlap!

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**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-maggie-simpson-lines/207665/20 "2003-10-16T21:49:08Z")

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Moe.

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