# Funniest opinion you have heard about yourself? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2016, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322 "2016-07-30T20:14:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/21 "2016-07-31T04:09:21Z")
> [@Hbk4894](#): > > Got told I had world cup ears > [@Velocity](#): > > Eh? :dubious: I’m thinking, like the handles on the cup? I once had a girlfriend tell me that I’d make an ugly woman. Good to know, I guess… ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/22 "2016-07-31T05:29:09Z")
I’ve been told several times that I am intimidating. Oddly enough, I very rarely raise my voice, order people around, or give death states. In fact I am actually a mild mannered kind of guy… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/23 "2016-07-31T06:25:39Z")
Once, immediately following passionate sex, I was told: “There’s nothing about you that can’t be fixed.” ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/24 "2016-07-31T16:59:34Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I was a deeply religious and sheltered 18 year old, who did nothing but work, play softball and stay safely on second base in romantic relationships. Yet a woman roughly ten years older than me said I was “on the prowl” because I wore a sports bra to, well, play sports. I don’t know if I’ve ever rolled my eyes so hard at something I’d never even considered. These days though, as an invisible middle aged women, I tell myself I must really be working my game whenever I go to wash my car. Or buy groceries. Or take the dogs to the vet… Damn! That’s my problem. I only wear my sports bra when I ride my horse. In a barn full of other women. Also wearing sports bras. No wonder I’m not getting any action. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/25 "2016-07-31T17:11:25Z")
Two things I’ve heard more than once: “You can’t be 5’8”! You look taller than that." What can I say, I have good posture and stand up straight. “You are so friendly. You can’t be an introvert!” Sorry, but friendliness (and good manners) and introversion are not mutually exclusive. I can be friendly, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to invite you into my home or agree to spend all my free time with you, even if I like you. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/26 "2016-07-31T17:17:43Z")
Conveyed at least a few times: I’m kinda scary. I consider myself more of a friendly golden retriever. However, I do sin against my gender and speak my mind when necessary (but never rattily done, just straightforward). Oddly, some peeps who have said this are colleagues I’ve gone to bat for when they had an issue with admin, students, et al. In answer to OP: I also have small, sticky-out cupped ears. Weirdly, no one has ever said anything about it (that I know of). ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/27 "2016-07-31T17:17:47Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > Damn! That’s my problem. I only wear my sports bra when I ride my horse. In a barn full of other women. Also wearing sports bras. No wonder I’m not getting any action. :dubious: Heh. If any of the animals that I hang out with ever want to expand their horizons, you can be my wingman. Just make sure you have catnip and Nylabones on hand. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/28 "2016-07-31T17:23:02Z")
My ex-husband used to say living with me was like living with a cartoon, especially Yosemite Sam. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/29 "2016-07-31T17:37:30Z")
That I had a beautiful Spanish accent from a Hispanic man . I am hard of hearing and have a speech defect . I was also told I had a nice French accent and been asked if I am from UK . I didn’t have the heart to tell the guy I had a speech defect , I wanted to go :smack: when he told this to me. LOL ! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/30 "2016-07-31T17:45:42Z")
> [@Sario](#): > > I have that ability, only creeping people out instead of pissing them off. Why sweat it? Any of the people who’d accuse someone of that are creepy-as-fuck if you’d only take the time to look at them closely. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/31 "2016-07-31T21:44:22Z")
A gamer friend recently commented that he’d known me for years, and still didn’t know what I actually _do_ when not gaming, but he suspected that I was a secret agent. Also, long ago, **Bad News Baboon** called me “the Penn-and-Teller-esque uncle every kid wants”. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/32 "2016-08-01T08:54:46Z")
I’ve been called ‘defiantly independent’. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/33 "2016-08-01T09:29:51Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > I actually had someone accuse me of being a liberal the other day. I laughed until my stomach muscles ached. Whadja do, tell 'em you didn’t want to vote for Trump? As for the thread, all that’s coming to mind at the moment is a stranger who told me my smile made them feel good. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/34 "2016-08-01T13:32:31Z")
I was labelled “depressed” based on the fact I do not own a bed and prefer to sleep on a floor mat. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/35 "2016-08-01T13:33:16Z")
I was told that I’d make a good Catholic, because I feel always guilty about stuff. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/36 "2016-08-01T14:51:45Z")
“You’re like a dictionary, only an asshole.” ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/37 "2016-08-01T15:26:23Z")
Sometime back in the early 90s there was a TV movie with, I think, Richard Thomas and Brooke Shields, where he was some weirdo who was stalking her. I didn’t watch the movie, but the next day at work some woman was telling me about it and she said, ”And I kept thinking, oh my god, that’s YOU!" Funny, I never really considered myself the creepy stalker type… ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/38 "2016-08-01T19:24:48Z")
I was once told my “default face” was too serious, and that is why strangers never come up and talk to me. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/39 "2016-08-01T19:36:20Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > My ex-husband used to say living with me was like living with a cartoon, especially Yosemite Sam. What, did you frequently growl “oooooooooohhh” and call him a varmint? hee hee heeee ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322/40 "2016-08-01T20:41:18Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > “You’re like a dictionary, only an asshole.” Oh, man, so glad I did not have coffee in my mouth when I read this. That is hilarious and sounds like something someone would direct my way. The first thing that comes to mind about me isn’t a phrase, but a situation. I was taking one of those work classes where you classify people by their personality type and then learn how to best interact with them. Kind of like **Meyers Briggs** , but this was called **Managing Interpersonal Relationships (MIR)** and the Categories are Driver, Expressive, Amiable and Analytical. Colleagues filled out questionnaires about attendees; I had that done, too. I show up and find I have been classified as Driver/Driver, i.e., the Drivingest of the Driver types. Okay, cool - let’s do the class. At the end of the class, folks are asked if they want to be re-rated because they don’t feel they are in the right bucket. This one woman raises her hand, points at ME, and says “[Wordman] over here is not a Driver Driver!” And some folks say “Yeah!” WTF?! Okay, whatever. I have no dog in this hunt, so sure, retest me. They do and decide I am Expressive/Expressive - the Expressiest of the Expressives. Jeez! So on their quadrant chart, I now take up the entire Right side!! Oy. I chuckled, the class ended, we went on our ways. I see folks in the hall, we giggle, life is good. Then the instructor comes and finds me a week later and asks me for coffee - she is worried that I may be upset about the results. Nah - I am good, I say. But I can see she is struggling. Then she says she is worried that I may have some inner secret that leads to my results. Like maybe I was gay? This is perhaps 1985 or so, so she was taking a risk. She shares her personal coming-out story - the whole bit. It was clear she was really trying to help someone, and I was touched by the seriousness of the help she was trying to provide, even though it didn’t pertain to me. So I tell her “Sorry - not gay” and try to be all gracious. She and I part ways, but whenever I saw her in the hallways for the next year or two, I got the distinct impression she was waiting for me to rush to her and admit the truth at last!!! That situation still makes me shake my head. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-opinion-you-have-heard-about-yourself/761322.md?page=3)