# Funniest porn ever! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 19, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336 "2008-09-19T17:18:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/1 "2008-09-19T17:18:58Z")
**Note** : This thread is not about sick porn. There is a lot of sick, depraved, disgusting pornography out there. If it’s sick, depraved, disgusting AND hilarious, then it’s acceptable for this thread. But it must first and foremost be funny. Please keep that in mind. With that being said, I’ll start off with a porn I only know about from my friend Megan. Her ex-roommate was this guy who was _obsessed_ with porn, and sometimes he’d show her the really weird ones. This porno was about a woman having sex with like five guys, but that’s not the weird part. The weird part is that all the guys were dressed in extremely realistic-looking latex pterodactyl costumes. While the girl was having sex with one of the guys, the others would stand over them, flapping their arms and saying, “Kaw kaw kaw! Ka-kaw!” I like to tell this story to people I know who’re having a really bad day. It never fails to make them laugh hysterically. I know it makes me grin like an idiot sometimes, and I’ve never even seen the damn thing. Okay, I can kind of see the appeal in something like Batman porn, but pterodactyls? Who’s browsing their local adult video store, going, “Oh, _Pterodactyl Gangbang 4_! That is so hot to me!” ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/2 "2008-09-19T17:20:48Z")
I was going to nominate clown porn. But that really can’t compete with pterodactyl porn. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/3 "2008-09-19T17:21:20Z")
Yup, that’s the one I came in to post. Never mind me then. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/4 "2008-09-19T17:29:06Z")
Google “Smurf Porn.” First link. In Spanish. Don’t ask where I found it. I think someone here on the boards linked it a while back, and I haven’t been able to unsee it since. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Walking\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90ced4/32.png) [@The\_Walking\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Walking_Dude)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/5 "2008-09-19T17:31:23Z")
I have one entry. It can be summed up in three words. KUNG FU PORN!!! I’ll even post a link. NOTE: This is NSFW. The link is broken. Enjoy… I guess. http:/ /www.redtube.com/461 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/6 "2008-09-19T17:33:59Z")
The first true porn film I saw (excluding novelties like **Flesh Gordon** ) was **The Private Afternoons of Pamela Mann**. The film was decent technical quality and seemed to be going through a number of variations of sexual hooking up. No surprise there. What’s weird is that there was an ordinary-looking woman, fully dressed, carrying a clipboard who, at one point in the proceedings, showed up in every scene and asked one of the participants some complex question about politics or economic policy, which the participant answered abstractedly with “Yes”, “No”, or “I don’t know”. There didn’t seem to be any reason for this person to be there, and none of the participants ever seemed to show any surprise that she was there, asking inane poll questions. At the end of the film someone finally took notice of her. “Who are you? What are you doing in this scene?” asked the naked man. She replied: “Oh, I’m here to give the movie Redeeming Social Value.” That was the buzz-phrase of the 1970s. You couldn’t ban an X-rated film if it had RSV. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/7 "2008-09-19T17:38:30Z")
Furniture porn makes me giggle. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/8 "2008-09-19T17:48:36Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Google “Smurf Porn.” First link. In Spanish. > Don’t ask where I found it. I think someone here on the boards linked it a while back, and I haven’t been able to unsee it since. Talk about blue balls. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/9 "2008-09-19T17:53:55Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Yup, that’s the one I came in to post. Never mind me then. Ditto! I saw that one, as a matter of fact, or at least a clip of it. It’s beyond bizarre. It’s not even sick, really, they’re having normal sex as far as I can tell in the 30 second clip I saw. Just every once in a while, they flap their wings and do the cawing. And the woman keeps doing her thing. So. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/10 "2008-09-19T17:57:31Z")
First thing I thought of was the photo of a sweaty, hairy, fat guy, chugging a can of corn, positioned doggie style with a woman that has a sad expression on her face. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/11 "2008-09-19T17:57:57Z")
Wasn’t there a pterodactyl hand puppet in there too? Its mouth movements synched far too well with the woman’s vocalizations. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/12 "2008-09-19T18:02:21Z")
I can’t recall the name of it now (I think it was something generic like Arabian Twinks or something), but it was a gay porn with a 1001 Nights theme to it, with the frame story of it all being in a book that some young man was reading. Except, in several shots you could see him moving his finger along the text as he read it, and he was reading the Arabic **backwards**. It’s just such a random, throwaway detail that it cracked me up. I could imagine this exchange between the actor and the director: “Okay, this scene of you reading is really boring. You need to spice it up a bit.” “I could do it naked?” “Mmm, no, no. That isn’t really what I’m looking for.” “I could lick my lips and look like I’m really turned on?” “No…not quite right. I’m just not believing that you’re reading this book.” “I could move my finger across the page like I’m following the words?” “Perfect!” ---
**Author:** ![Darryl\_Lict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@Darryl\_Lict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darryl_Lict)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/13 "2008-09-19T18:05:01Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Google “Smurf Porn.” First link. In Spanish. Wow she sucked the blue right off his schlong! What talented porno actors, they could all whistle! I thought everyone had seen that pterodactyl porn. It’s some kind of internet meme. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/14 "2008-09-19T18:33:07Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > First thing I thought of was the photo of a sweaty, hairy, fat guy, chugging a can of corn, positioned doggie style with a woman that has a sad expression on her face. \ = \ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/15 "2008-09-19T18:38:48Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > **Note** : This thread is not about sick porn. There is a lot of sick, depraved, disgusting pornography out there. If it’s sick, depraved, disgusting AND hilarious, then it’s acceptable for this thread. But it must first and foremost be funny. Please keep that in mind. > > With that being said, I’ll start off with a porn I only know about from my friend Megan. Her ex-roommate was this guy who was _obsessed_ with porn, and sometimes he’d show her the really weird ones. This porno was about a woman having sex with like five guys, but that’s not the weird part. The weird part is that all the guys were dressed in extremely realistic-looking latex pterodactyl costumes. While the girl was having sex with one of the guys, the others would stand over them, flapping their arms and saying, “Kaw kaw kaw! Ka-kaw!” > > I like to tell this story to people I know who’re having a really bad day. It never fails to make them laugh hysterically. I know it makes me grin like an idiot sometimes, and I’ve never even seen the damn thing. Okay, I can kind of see the appeal in something like Batman porn, but pterodactyls? Who’s browsing their local adult video store, going, “Oh, _Pterodactyl Gangbang 4_! That is so hot to me!” Great. I had to talk to a co-worker who went to a questionable site during her lunch, and now I’m giggling my ass off over the thought of this. Thanks, Dr. Ross Geller. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/16 "2008-09-19T19:02:19Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Google “Smurf Porn.” First link. In Spanish. > Don’t ask where I found it. I think someone here on the boards linked it a while back, and I haven’t been able to unsee it since. I found that so weird, it almost didn’t register that it was porn. Edit: nearly forgot - [skeleton porn](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k24HfubYzKY) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/17 "2008-09-19T19:19:33Z")
I’m not one to watch porn, but I’ve seen a few. One I saw quite a long time ago was [_Nightdreams_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082811/). Forget the sex. This is one of the most surreal films I’ve seen. A jack-in-the-box with a very long nose, sitting in bed next to a fish, a zombie with a fetus, and… [Mr. Cream Of Wheat](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs5TSpW_Iho). The link is to YouTube and there’s no nudity in it. Of course it’s been heavily edited, and it’s much funnier uncut. And I still remember these quotes from The Devil: ‘Attention! That’s all I want! An hour on Sunday morning right after the Farm Report. Where’s the harm in that?’ and ‘Pain? Do you want to know what pain is? Pain is not having your own cable outlet so you can show your friends what Life is all about.’ ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/18 "2008-09-19T19:28:28Z")
They play funny porn clips on The Howard Stern Show all the time. Mostly guys having outrageously loud or long orgasms. Recently they played this one of this lady screaming OH, BILL, OHHHHHHHHH BILL, OHHHHHHHHHH Bi-iii-iii-iii-i-i-i-i-iiiiiiiiiiiLL!!! etc over and over. They asked the guy who found the clip, “boy, he must really be going to town on her to get a reaction like that, huh?” He replied: She’s on top. The guy is just laying there. ---
**Author:** ![Pollux\_Oil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Pollux\_Oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pollux_Oil)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/19 "2008-09-19T19:34:47Z")
I was looking for something online a while ago, not porn as far as I can recall but something else. Instead, I ended up with a porn video instead of what I was originally looking for. The porn itself wasn’t inherently funny. However, the porn was dubbed in Spanish. Let me repeat that. Porn. _Dubbed._ Maybe it’s just me, but I found it hysterically funny. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/20 "2008-09-19T20:18:52Z")
I saw a movie with gargoyle porn once. Two actors with elaborate head makeup and full gray bodypaint, and one normal woman. Of course, the illusion was broken by the actors’ bright pink dongs, because apparently the woman didn’t want to taste the bodypaint or get it in her hoo-ha. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336.md?page=2)