# Funniest porn ever! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 19, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336 "2008-09-19T17:18:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/61 "2008-09-21T00:22:18Z")
You mean porno movies have _plot lines_ now? And _sets_ and _costumes?_ What’ll they think of next? :eek: And why bother? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/62 "2008-09-21T00:29:15Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > That image I was telling you about earlier. It isn’t Ron Jeremy. > > [noparse][http://img352.imageshack.us/my.php?image=chuggingcornmv7.jpg[/noparse]](http://img352.imageshack.us/my.php?image=chuggingcornmv7.jpg%5B/noparse%5D) This one is much better with the soundtrack: [noparse][http://chuggingcorn.ytmnd.com/[/noparse]](http://chuggingcorn.ytmnd.com/%5B/noparse%5D) ---
**Author:** ![paffinity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@paffinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paffinity)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/63 "2008-09-21T00:32:01Z")
I’ve been trying to find an online link to the very first porno, [El Sartorio.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Sartorio) It’s funny to think that outrageous pornography plots originated with the very first one. Too bad I haven’t actually found it yet. I was actually thinking of starting a ridiculous porn collection when I’m older, but I can’t think of an excuse if somebody found it. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/64 "2008-09-21T04:38:58Z")
Is _Lord of the G-Strings_ too “soft” to be considered real porn? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/65 "2008-09-21T09:48:08Z")
[noparse][Dropout - Independent, ad-free, uncensored comedy | Dropout](http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1808306%5B/noparse%5D) And for the 4 of you who haven’t already googled it, I present to you the pterodactyl porn. I’m not sure whether to laugh or be traumatized at this point. (What was with the puppet?) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/66 "2008-09-21T15:07:44Z")
More lines from Star Trek porn: Scotty- “Cap’n, ma organ canna stand the strain!” Mr. Spic- “It would seem I’m cumming.” ---
**Author:** ![Euryphaessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Euryphaessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euryphaessa)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/67 "2008-09-21T21:51:27Z")
Sleep Assault. Uh, yeah, it’s what it sounds like. Men having sex with supposedly sleeping women. Except judging by how the women _never wake up_ even while they’re being moved into some pretty acrobatic positions, maybe a more apt title would be Cadaver Assault. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/68 "2008-09-22T18:40:23Z")
> [@Queen of Town](#): > > Sleep Assault. Uh, yeah, it’s what it sounds like. Men having sex with supposedly sleeping women. Except judging by how the women _never wake up_ even while they’re being moved into some pretty acrobatic positions, maybe a more apt title would be Cadaver Assault. No, no. Cadaver Assault is band-name material! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/69 "2008-09-22T21:16:53Z")
> [@pepperlandgirl](#): > > There’s a Cinemax film (well I saw it on Showtime too) called **Playmate of the Apes**. It’s the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. I’m sure based on the title, I don’t need to explain the premise. But I don’t know…maybe it was all the lesbian scenes between lesbians who are in a half-comatose state (seriously, there’s one with a woman who is supposedly shrugged. she’s utterly unresponsive and heavy lidded). Maybe it was the guy in a giant, poofy, pink ape costume. Maybe it was the dialogue that literally didn’t make any sense. But all of it combined to make that movie one of the most surreal things I’ve ever seen. I caught that one with my wife one time. I think that one was the one that had the secondary porn actress who had the worlds worst plastic surgeon…and went to him ALOT. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/70 "2008-09-22T21:43:32Z")
One night years ago, **OpalCat** and I found a furry website and started making fun of it, because really, people dressed up in mascot costumes doing the deed is hysterical. Well, this site had a sister site where people in full animal bodypaint were having sex with one another. In the featured pictures at the very top of the site, there was a guy in leopard paint nailing someone in this kind of blue-gray tiger paint. We stared at these pictures for AGES trying to figure out what was wrong with them and why they just didn’t seem quite right for some reason. It turns out that the leopard guy was missing testicles. There was one shot of him spread eagle with his dick half-inside the other person, and you could see NO balls, or anything else for that matter–just smooth skin. I have NO idea how this was possible, but once we figured it out we laughed our asses off. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/71 "2008-09-22T21:50:07Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I have NO idea how this was possible… It sounds like what you’re describing is someone who might be a bilateral cryptorchid. As the [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptorchid) article states, sometimes the testes fail to descend from the abdomen into the scrotum during fetal development, or in early infancy. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/72 "2008-09-22T23:17:21Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Phil Foglio, the creator of _Girl Genius_, also did a series called _Xxxenophile_. Science Fiction/Fantasy/Comedy porn. Available from online booksellers. The trading card game is pretty infamous too. And expensive these days. I had roommates who had a full set when they were new and recall walking in on a six player mixed gender game in the living room where they were playing by the full rules. ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/73 "2008-09-22T23:34:00Z")
Ah yes, pterodactyl porn. I saw it and had to show it to daHubby, who about sprained something laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_In\_A\_Top\_Hat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@Cat\_In\_A\_Top\_Hat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_In_A_Top_Hat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/74 "2008-09-23T03:19:28Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > I was going to nominate clown porn. But that really can’t compete with pterodactyl porn. ☹ no clown porn! “Vengeance”, however, was hilarious. A _Crucible_ ripoff that somehow combines time travel, “martial arts”, and corn (but that last bit’s nowhere near as bad as it could have been). Also comes with a director’s commentary track. It helped make the best Porn and Chicken Night ever, once 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/75 "2008-09-23T03:52:05Z")
This thread seems like a good place for a joke I heard today: Q: What do you get when you cross an [ISA Brown](http://www.backyardchickens.com/web/viewblog.php?id=1642-ISA_Browns) with a [Hereford](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hereford_cattle)? A: Porn! Brown-chicken-brown-cow … ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/76 "2008-09-23T06:07:23Z")
A few years ago, I came across (heh heh) some dinosaur porn - not the pterodactyl one, but guys dressed in full green dinosaur makeup/suits - like Tyranosaurus Rexes or something. No luck at redtube, and my google is weak or something - anyone else seen this? Joe ---
**Author:** ![stanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@stanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stanger)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/77 "2008-09-25T03:41:31Z")
Thanks for finding some links to Bat Pussy! It is just as awful as I remember it, which means, it was terrifically bad! I thought the part with her traveling on the bouncy ball was nude, but apparently not. Hard to remember after all these years. But think about it - I saw Bat Pussy in its first theatre run. Woo hoo! Now if I could just find “Sam Slick- Private Dick” and “The Mad Pieman” … ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/78 "2008-09-25T04:14:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by \*\*elmwood \*\* > That image I was telling you about earlier. It isn’t Ron Jeremy. > > http: [//img352.imageshack.us/my.php?image=chuggingcornmv7.jpg](https://img352.imageshack.us/my.php?image=chuggingcornmv7.jpg) :eek: Umm, is there another image of that guy where you can see his face? It is very, very, very important that I see a better image of his face. ---
**Author:** ![Frosted\_Glass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frosted_glass/32/3926_2.png) [@Frosted\_Glass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frosted_Glass)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/79 "2008-09-25T04:19:22Z")
My school shows movies for $1 in the main auditorium and every few Sundays out of the year the movie is TBA which is what we label porn. The school showed [Pirates](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirates_(2005_film)) a few years back and that was pretty amusing, but not the best. The funniest I saw was this porn film in 3D that was clearly from the 70’s. The “parts” that sprang out at the audience had everyone cracking up. The funniest was when the people in charge of the film sprayed the audience with super soakers during the main money shot scene. It was like the 3D rides you go on at a theme park. It also helped that the theater was packed with other students cracking jokes and laughing along. I never thought I would wear 3D glasses to watch porn. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336/80 "2008-09-25T04:24:35Z")
The funniest porn I have ever seen was something I _thought_ was called Time Cops, but when I googled, all I found was some non-porn action movie. Whatever. It was a gay porn, about…time travelling cops. I was at a Peace Corps conference, and my friend Michael showed it to a bunch of us. We almost hurt ourselves laughing. The second best thing about it was that Michael had found it on his town’s server. See, Bulgarians are not especially interested in copyright law, and most towns have their own server where they can share files illegally. I’m not sure how it works, but it’s all 100% illegal and no one cares. Also, Bulgarians are not real accepting when it comes to homosexuality. So, Michael found this movie on his town’s server, which means he downloaded it from someone else in his town! He said he was really excited that there was another gay guy in his town, until he realized that the second half of the movie was missing. So he figured that the guy had realized at that point that it wasn’t an action movie and stopped the upload. So that was disappointing. The first best thing about it was the time machine that the cops travelled in. It was made of cardboard. Very high production values. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-porn-ever/464336.md?page=5)