# Funniest posts ever **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 30, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222 "2003-03-30T15:13:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/41 "2003-04-13T15:08:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*My personal favorite: [I Am Going To Blow People Mind’s At My Funeral](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=80870) > > Gotcha ya! \*\* EXcellent! I finally understand the Gotcha Ya thing, AND got to read **Eve’s** outrageously funny response. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Quonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ed655f/32.png) [@Quonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quonk)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/42 "2003-04-13T17:18:26Z")
I saw this post by **mega the roo** when I first started lurking (which was, IIRC, a while after the posts were actually written) and I remember laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it referenced in this type of thread, but I liked it. [Odd little habits you have](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=804450#post804450) ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/43 "2003-04-13T17:33:38Z")
Can’t leave this one out: [Halvsie, the two-legged dog.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=51807&highlight=Halvsie) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/44 "2003-04-14T04:44:52Z")
Oh, remember that chick who had the hots for Englebert Humperdinck? Like, every single post she made was about him, and she kept telling us how stupid we were, that he was so sexy and soooo manly and all that? I about died laughing reading that. ---
**Author:** ![pZott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pZott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pZott)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/45 "2003-04-14T19:59:49Z")
Lots of reading material - thanks for starting this thread! Here are some favorites of mine to add to the collection: another classic by **Sauron** , [I will remove the spork from your neck when I receive my potato wedges.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=132612) the [“Possible Onion 9/11 Headlines”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=87707&pagenumber=7) thread, mentioned above by **Shirley** another customer service (i.e. lack thereof) horror-story, by **jarbaby** [“the world’s greatest mcdonalds”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=134905) And a number of entertaining threads by **Steve Wright** : [Five Hospitalizations and a Wedding](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=133621) [In which I am bemused by urban priorities](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=110930) [Steve versus the Slime Monster](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=135312) _(warning, TMI!)_ [Steve infiltrates High(ish) Society](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=149087) (yes, [BoardReader.com](http://boardreader.com/) is your friend!) enjoy! /lurk ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/46 "2003-04-15T01:15:13Z")
**pZott** thanks for the links and the thing for Boardreader. It is quite amazing. You need to post more often. ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/47 "2003-04-15T05:27:00Z")
Sorry, no link. ☹ I vaguely remember a thread entitled, **BDSM is making me lose my job** , or something like that. It just had to be phony, but it was still funny. Some guy was lamenting the loss of his job, and all he had done was tie up/screw all of his female co-workers. Naturally, he tied them up with typewriter ribbons, adding machine cords, and other office supplies. 😃 I thought it was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/48 "2003-04-29T01:27:51Z")
I am going to bookmark this thread, as I have often kicked myself for not keeping track of the funniest ones. Nobody has yet mentioned the “prehensile rectum” thread yet. And I keep hearing about the “Goat Porn thread” but haven’t seen a link to it. Can somebody direct me? As long as I’ve been here you think I’d have seen it, but noooooooo. ---
**Author:** ![sciguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/49 "2003-04-29T06:09:44Z")
Damn you **Baker** for making me search for it. Now my sides hurt. [Goat Porn](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=33909&highlight=goat+porn). I’m thinking I may just search up **Scylla’s** portfolio of posts, with any spewable drinks in another room. As for funniest posts, when [I met the Emperor of the World at McDonald’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=152737) was threadspotted, I finally succumed to registering, if only for the email notification 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/50 "2003-04-29T13:10:26Z")
This is the thread that made a Doper out of me: [Pandas can f\*\*\* off!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=136547&highlight=straightdope%2Bpandas%2B) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/51 "2003-04-29T13:47:42Z")
Not to toot my own horn but many people thought my reply in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=134039&highlight=When+Jews+sneeze) was pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/52 "2003-04-29T20:54:50Z")
[Wally and the gerbil](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24442) ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/53 "2003-04-29T23:57:11Z")
[Collounsbury’s Pit thread… sort of](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=98426) Includes bonus footage from a telenovela and Star Wars, written by me. And yes, I am tooting my own horn. However, my vote goes to Scylla and his encounter with the Evil Blimp. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222/54 "2003-04-30T01:15:44Z")
Alright. In my long stay I’ve had here (though surely the post count wouldn’t reflect it), I’ve seen 2 things that have made me go c-razy. Here they are, in no order: 1. Crap Nelson. Say it. That’s enough. 2. Gotcha Ya! “What the hell did he just say?” If you keep a straight face through those, you have no soul [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-posts-ever/165222.md?page=2)