# Funniest Python sketch? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2001, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315 "2001-09-23T07:04:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/21 "2001-09-23T18:08:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NutWrench \* > \*\*The episode with the Sam Peckinpath ending. 🙂 \*\* That would be Sam’s remake of “Salad Days.” A brilliant parody. Of course, I hadn’t seen any Peckinpah the first time I saw it, so the audience was really, really put out when I was laughing hystericallys at the slo-mo death scenes in “Cross of Iron.” Python was one of my forumulative influences. I grew up in a somewhat sheltered household, where TV was limited to 3 channels, and where a discouraging word (like s\*\*\*, d\*\*\* or Wankle Rotary Engine) was rarely heard. Then, at the tender age of 12, I came across the series when it was being shown on PBS. The first show I saw contained the Spanish Inquisition, and for someone brought up on Mad Magazine and Laugh-In, I was mesmerized, confused, puzzled and laughing. Half the time, I couldn’t understand the accents, and the other half I couldn’t understand the references (Reginald Maulding? Edward Heath I knew was PM at one time. And what the hell were twits?) After awhile, I learned to just roll with the show and laugh at the rest. All this is by way of saying that the one sketch that caused horror and side-splitting laughter in me was: **The Undertaker Sketch.** “Well, we can burn her, bury her, or dump her.” “What’s that like.” “Well, they’re all nasty.” ::sound of jaw hitting floor:: “We can burn her, where we stick 'er in the flames, crackle-crackle-crackle, which is a bit of a muss if she’s not quite dead. Or we could bury 'er, where we stick 'er in the ground, nibble nibble nibble, which, again, is a bit of a muss if she’s not quite dead.” ::blood draining from face. I’m trying NOT to laugh, because if I did I won’t hear the rest of the sketch:: “Where is she?” “She’s in this bag.” ::I was rolling on the carpet, as wide-eyed as Alex receiving his treatment in “Clockwork Orange”:: And then, then . . . “Or we could eat her.” “Well, I DO feel a bit peckish.” ::stomach heaves. I’m no longer laughing, but the sound you hear is my nerves being shredded. Remember, I’m only 12!:: “No, no, I can’t do it.” “Look, we’ll eat your mum, and if you feel a bit guilty about it, we can dig a grave and you can throw up in it!” ::that did it. Audience erupts in protest, and I was crying on the floor, my sides stitching in pain from the laughter.:: (Later, I read that the BBC demanded that the audience object. I thought the Pythons just found a neat way to close the sketch.) Ahhh, you always remember your first time, y’know. [sub]And excuse the errors in the transcript. It’s being done from memory[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/22 "2001-09-23T19:49:34Z")
Some of the final season’s episodes (sans Cleese) were one long 33 minute sketch. I’m thinking of the “Mr. Neutron” episode (“LET ME TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ALL THIS, MRS. S.C.U.M.”) and the “Ant Complaints” episode, wherein we witness Eric Idle’s adventures with his new pet ant. Say, why hasn’t Michael Ellis chimed in here yet? ---
**Author:** ![Grok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Grok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grok)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/23 "2001-09-23T19:53:13Z")
Big vote for **Four Yorkshiremen** (the version in the Secret Policeman’s Ball, with Rowan Atkinson). They all sit around telling stories about how bad their childhoods were, and each feels compelled to one-up the last person. Rowan Atkinson started it: “House? You were lucky to have a house! There were 26 of us, one room, no furniture, half the floor was missing. We were all huddled in one corner for fear of falling!” I love how Michael Palin stomped on Terry Jones in this sketch: Jones: We lived in a shoe box in the middle of the motorway! Palin: Cardboard box? Jones: Aye… Paline: You were lucky! ``` and... ``` Jones: … we had to move out and live in a corridor. Palin: Oh, we used to DREAM of living in a corridor! Also I vote for the sketch where Palin plays an incredibly suspicious man trying to go through customs. John Cleese is the customs agent who does nothing, and then doesn’t belive him when Palin admits to smuggling bombs on the airplane. On second thought, maybe that last one isn’t funny anymore… ---
**Author:** ![glass\_onion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@glass\_onion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glass_onion)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/24 "2001-09-23T20:39:36Z")
…but it is a Python film…does this count? the part of “The Life of Brian” when they’re on the steps and Brian wants to join the “People’s Front of Judea”…very funny. Oh, and as mentioned in another thread in the last week or so, that group who first claimed responsibility for the WTC atrocity…the Palestinian People’s Liberation Front…that sounded like a Python thing to me too. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/25 "2001-09-23T20:46:37Z")
Life of Brian, where Brian is painting the slogan on the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/26 "2001-09-23T21:06:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Grok \* > **Also I vote for the sketch where Palin plays an incredibly suspicious man trying to go through customs. John Cleese is the customs agent who does nothing, and then doesn’t belive him when Palin admits to smuggling bombs on the airplane.** Palin was trying to smuggle clocks onto the plane, not bombs. The gag was that he had just come in from Switzerland (get it?) and there’s the sound of clocks ticking from his suitcase (Swiss clocks, get it?). Cleese opens it up, spilling clocks all over, whereupon Palin immediately confesses that he’s smuggling Swiss clocks, whereupon Cleese refuses to believe him and hilarity ensues. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/27 "2001-09-23T21:35:14Z")
How to defend yourself against a man armed with a piece of fresh fruit. “Suppose he’s got a pointed stick?” Arthur “Two Sheds” Jackson. The Hungarian-English dictionary. “My hovercraft is full of eels.” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/28 "2001-09-24T03:23:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DarrenS \* > \*\*Guess who just indulged himself with the A&E complete DVD set 🙂 > \*\* ME!!! 😃 It took two weeks to get here, but woo-hoo!! And I can’t believe no one’s mentioned the Upper-Class Twit of the Year Award. “And OH! He’s run himself over!!” ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/29 "2001-09-24T03:44:14Z")
You know, the one that really stuck with me and still has me chuckling for years is the **The Olympic Hide-and-Seek Finals**. One guy goes and hides somewhere in the world and it takes the other guy 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27.4 seconds to find him, a world record I might add. Then he hides and the other guy tries to find him. After looking unsuccessfully for 11 years, 2 months and 26 days he sees a clue in a trash can and instantly knows where the other fellow is, rushes off into a taxi then a plane then a castle. Runs into the castle and finds the other guy hiding behind a pillar and tags him. His time 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27.4 seconds. Good lord a tie! They’ll have to do it again. Not a guffawer but a realy chuckle for 16 years kind of skit. And I am still chuckling. But I also love the **Spanish Inquisition** and desperately want the costume from the main guy. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/30 "2001-09-24T03:53:54Z")
I don’t know if I can pick a funniest-- 'cause I agree with pretty much all of the above! One special favorite, though, is the one where Terry Jones plays a guy who’s trained a bunch of mice to squeak in varying pitches. He hefts a mallet and says he’s going to play “The Bells of Saint Mary’s” on them. Gets maybe half a dozen notes out before somebody rushes him and tries to drag him away, but he keeps on pounding the tuned mice 🙂 As for Python moments in everyday life… everytime somebody mentions “registering a complaint,” I want to giggle. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/31 "2001-09-24T03:57:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by naughty wicked zoot \* > **my all time favorite is the “every sperm is sacred” bit from “meaning of life”. anything with tap-dancing vicars is fine by me.** Not Castle Anthrax? (The Not Noel Coward Song from Meaning of Life is my current favourite.) ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/32 "2001-09-24T04:03:06Z")
Watching the Meaning of Life was the closest I’ve come to a religious experience. Going into the theater the first day it opened, settling in, the anticipation, knowing “it’s here, it’s here at last. All new Python material.” Believe me, I was ready to laugh. And it was good. And I laughed. Yea, verily, my sides were splittith with merriment. :::wanders off, humming "Every sperm is sacred . . . ::: ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/33 "2001-09-24T04:09:47Z")
The Bishop Vocational Guidance Counselor The Sex-Ed bit in “Meaning of Life” (Cross-reference with souces on English boarding schools) (and don’t forget: “It’s only wafer-thin.”) ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/34 "2001-09-24T10:14:32Z")
Why is it that nobody remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty… de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm? ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/35 "2001-09-24T13:27:37Z")
I second Gumby brain surgery. (I love it when John Cleese is standing in the doorway, shouting “helloooo,” and he jumps in surprise when he notices Michael Palin. So cute!) Also, the sketch in which Terry Jones and Graham Chapman are an old married couple, and John shows up with a booth and gives them a presentation on the sex lives of molluscs. [See here.](http://www.montypython.net/scripts/mollusc.php) ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/36 "2001-09-24T13:54:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*I DON’T LIKE SPAM!! \*\* Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spamity Spam! Wonderful Spam! Spamity Spam! Wonderful Spam! My favorite as well. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/37 "2001-09-24T14:41:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shannybonanny \* > \*\*That one…with the giant hedgehog? “Dinsdale!..Dinsdale!..” > \*\* \*Kinda partial to the Piranha brothers myself. Lots of great stuff mentioned. Couple more:\* Dennis Moore: “The cat choked on the bleeding lupines!” “The Larch” St. Looney up the cream bun and jam. What’s on the telly? Looks like a penguin to me. … There, I’ve run around you in circles logically again. I have a theory. Ahem! Scott of the Antarctic: I want to fight a lion! No, it’s spelt Luxury Yacht, but it’s pronounced Throatwarbler Mangrove. Of course it has a gap in it, or else it wouldn’t be an 'oop! My ain’t we posh, sitting on the settee with our scones. Pardon me, mama, I’m off to play the grand piano. _Um excuse me, I kinda got carried away there._ ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/38 "2001-09-24T15:09:45Z")
Pshaw, I got _All the Words_ back in 1990 before yinz young’uns even **HAD** them newfangled VDs an’ CDCs an’ all them there bells an’ whistles. [Yorkshire accent] And we _DREAMED_ of having a TV so we could slap tracing paper on the screen at the rate of 24 a second and trace the images so we could have a flip-book of the episodes! An’ our dad would beat us mercilessly if we even thought of slipping up on reciting the menu from the “SPAM” sketch, and send us to bed wi’out any suppah. [/Yorkshire accent] That having been said - I _cannot_ find the “Half-A-Bee” sketch anywhere in the original 43 episodes. The fish licence sketch turns into a soccer match with the third-tallest mayor in the history of Darby. That and this one sketch where Graham Chapman is a sculptor and makes John Cleese’s nose entirely too long. I’ve seen stills from it in _Life of Python_ but I can’t find reference to it in _All the Words_. Favorite sketch? Hmm… The fouth season was the weakest; Cleese’s departure upset the balance between the two writing teams, leaving Palin and Jones to dominate the show. Although I _do_ rather fancy Mr. Pither’s Cycling Adventure - or was that third season? Lemming… Lemming… Lemming of the BDA! Lemming… Lemming… Lemming of the BD! Lemming of the BD! BD! BDA! If I were not in the CID, something else I’d like to be! If I were not in the CID, a window-cleaner me! UP THERE! UP THERE! ARKY-TEK SKETCH! UP THERE!! ---
**Author:** ![rundogrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@rundogrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rundogrun)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/39 "2001-09-24T15:49:32Z")
From their book… **The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok** … God’s Report Card. For **Divinity** - _“Poor. Keeps disputing biblical facts. He refuses to read the bible on the grounds that he was ‘misquoted’” - Rev. Hall_ And from the same book… **LLAP-Goch…the secret Welsh ART of SELF DEFENCE that requires NO INTELLIGENCE, STRENGTH or PHYSICAL courage** …which, of course, makes absolutely no sense to anyone on these boards and unless you’ve seen this ad parody (think Charles Atlas), you’re already going “WTF?” and scrolling down to the next post. But it IS funny! ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315/40 "2001-09-24T16:22:36Z")
The Cheese Shop never fails to make me laugh “Venezuelan Beaver cheese?” “Not as such” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-python-sketch/83315.md?page=3)