# Funniest Seinfeld line or situation **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 30, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472 "2001-01-30T23:43:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ace\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Ace\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace_Face)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/21 "2001-01-31T06:40:49Z")
Festivus! … and the pirate shirt episode. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/22 "2001-01-31T08:08:40Z")
Ace Face! You named two of my favorite moments, right before you! Damn you! I wore a Puffy Pirate Shirt in my HS senior portraits. I don’t know why I find this so amusing, but I do: when Newman didn’t deliver the mail because it was raining, Jerry said, “Neither snow, nor rain nor…hey! It’s the _second one!_” Also, the entire episode where Kramer and Newman drove to Michigan to recycle their cans. Same episode that Jerry’s crazy mechanic chased Elaine for miles, causing her to throw JFK’s golf clubs at him. Mr. Peterman: “I never knew JFK had such a temper!” ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/23 "2001-01-31T08:10:20Z")
Right before _me_, duh. Since I’m here anyway…“Vandelay Industries! Vandelay Industries!” ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/24 "2001-01-31T14:40:02Z")
I have to vote for Jerry’s explanation to Kramer and Newman regarding the whole Keith Hernandez spitting incident. That is one magic loogie. ---
**Author:** ![Simon\_Met\_a\_Pieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simon\_Met\_a\_Pieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simon_Met_a_Pieman)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/25 "2001-01-31T15:00:56Z")
Jerry: “You mean the only thing between us and the boys is a thin layer of Gabardine?” Kramer: “I’m out there Jerry!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/26 "2001-01-31T15:27:08Z")
Elaine to the woman in the next bathroom stall “Can’t spare a square, haven’t got a square to spare” ---
**Author:** ![sam0156](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@sam0156](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sam0156)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/27 "2001-01-31T15:42:18Z")
Elaine - “The Dingo ate my bay-bay” (The world’s worst Australian accent, brings to mind recent “Survivor” type ads everywhere). Elaine’s dancing (and the horror of a flashback it caused Jerry). ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/28 "2001-01-31T15:56:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mullinator \* > \*\*I have to vote for Jerry’s explanation to Kramer and Newman regarding the whole Keith Hernandez spitting incident. > > That is one magic loogie. \*\* Damn you, **Mullinator**. Damn you straight to hell! I’ve never even seen the movie **JFK** and that part just cracks me up. Well, I guess if I have to contribute… “Poppy’s been a little sloppy” “Can’t-Stand-ja” _What the Gym teacher calls George._ “They’re real and they’re spectacular!” _Even though I loathe that woman._ That whole speech George’s boss gives him when George quit and then tried to come back to Monday’s staff meeting as if nothing happened. You remember that boss. George slipped him a ‘mickey’. Actually, that whole conversation that Elaine had with him was pretty funny, too. And finally, when Kramer puts cement in the washer machine because Jerry though the proprietor of the laundromat stole his money was hilarious. [sub]I love Seinfeld[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9bcb4/32.png) [@pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pagan)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/29 "2001-01-31T15:59:34Z")
I’d like to second Kramers karate experience (always gets laughs amongst my martial arts friends), and Festivus (my brother and I occasionally challenge each other to Feats of Strength), and I’d add the episode where Jerry starts shaving his chest. Lots of funny moments in that one… ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/30 "2001-01-31T16:12:30Z")
I like the scene in the Kenny Roger’s Chicken episode where Jerry threatens to put the sign out and Kramer is on his knees begging him not to. Jerry: You’ve got a problem Kramer: Oh, I’ve got a big problem. Also the scene where Kramer is helping the dwarf out with his audition and can’t sit down because of his tight jeans. Then the dwarf gets mad and attacks Kramer. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/31 "2001-01-31T16:18:57Z")
Oh, that Kenny Roger’s chicken one was sooooo funny when Jerry and Kramer switched apartments…and eventually personalities! ---
**Author:** ![kid\_charlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@kid\_charlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kid_charlemagne)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/32 "2001-01-31T16:25:08Z")
Ko Ko Higgins: "When I was a little girl in Jamaica, my gammy told me to take a wet rag and… George: “Nobody cares about your gammy” Ko Ko Higgins: “What did you say about my gammy?” Kruger: “Who’s gammy?” George: “Noone, theres no gammy” Kruger: “Well maybe there should be a gammy, Geeoorge your gammy” Everyone: “Gammy, Gammy” George: “GAMMY’S GETTIN UPSET!” Also any time Kramer acted like Dr. Van Nostrand or H.E. Pennypacker. Of course just about any scene with Newman is a classic. Lastly, Kramer’s saving Toby’s pinky toe story and George’s marine biology golfball whale story are both probably the 2 greatest moments in Seinfeld. “I’m so keeno on Beefarino, what a delicious cuisino, fit for king and queeno” ---
**Author:** ![archmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/33 "2001-01-31T17:45:48Z")
“You know what you are? You’re an Anti-DENTITE?” ---
**Author:** ![Alki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cab0a1/32.png) [@Alki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alki)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/34 "2001-01-31T18:27:34Z")
My three favorite moments all feature Kramer: 1. Kramer sets up his apartment with the old Merv Griffin set. 2. Movie Phone: “Why don’t you just TELL me the number?” 3. Medical school acting: “They gave me gonorrhea!” BTW, I found a great list here: [http://epguides.com/Seinfeld/guide.shtml](http://epguides.com/Seinfeld/guide.shtml) ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/35 "2001-01-31T20:15:00Z")
Okay, okay, you’ve already mentioned my favorites. But some other good ones: 1. ASSMAN license plate fiasco 2. Kramer’s coffee burn lawsuit: “did I tell you to put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? Jackie Chiles didn’t tell you to put the balm on. Maestro told you to put the balm on?” Or something to that general effect. And of course, anytime I can hear the line “hello, Newman.” ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/36 "2001-01-31T21:07:08Z")
The episode where Kramer takes the dog’s medication because he doesn’t want to go to a doctor. When Jerry tries to get him to go to the doctor’s, and he runs away when he gets out of the car, Jerry- “Kramer! Kramer! Here boy!” Man- “Oh no, the resteraunt’s on fire” see’s Kramer, “Go get help!” Policeman- “What is it boy? Trouble?” Kramer- “_cough_-old, _cough_-mill” Policeman- “Trouble at the old mill? Good boy, good boy. Lead the way!” ---
**Author:** ![Bubble\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c0e974/32.png) [@Bubble\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bubble_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/37 "2001-01-31T22:03:28Z")
[ul] [li]Elaine loudly saying “Stella! Stella!” and laughing hysterically after being introduced to Jerry’s uncle’s girlfriend.[/li][li]Elaine trying to get her medical chart from the doctor after being labeled difficult and then not being able to find another doctor who doesn’t know about her “reputation.”[/li][li]Elain mimicking another woman over her baby “Have you seen the baby!? You’ve gotta see the baby!?”[/li][li]Jerry singing “The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round…” while trying to win the master of your domain contest.[/li][/ul] I don’t think there is a bad episode of this show but those three stand out. ---
**Author:** ![pythonzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@pythonzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pythonzzz)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/38 "2001-01-31T22:33:50Z")
“Deloris!” ---
**Author:** ![Azazel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Azazel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azazel)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/39 "2001-01-31T22:41:59Z")
[Seinfeld]IT WASN’T A PICK![/Seinfeld] ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472/40 "2001-01-31T23:03:13Z")
Someone already said the Kramer with the Merv Griffin living room episode, but that was hysterical! I also love the scene where George is discussing with Jerry what he could do for a living. George says he could be a sports announcer. Jerry says they usually give those jobs to people in the media, or to athletes. George says, “Well that isn’t fair” (Or something to that effect) The one where George gets smart because he isn’t having sex. The one where they’re trying to fire George (for pretending to be disabled) and they lock him out of his office. He gets in through the air vent, and calls the boss’s office and says, “Tell him I’m IN MY OFFICE!” I absolutely love George Costanza. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-seinfeld-line-or-situation/52472.md?page=3)