# Funniest Simpsons moment ............ ever! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 6, 2005, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199 "2005-03-06T10:28:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/221 "2005-03-11T21:20:49Z")
Kent Brockmans succumbing to the ant overlords reminded me of another funny Brockman moment. **Brockman** : Big game fever is reaching a fever pitch as the fevered rivalry between Springfield U. and Springfield A&M spreads like wildfever. [looks offstage] This is writing? **Intern** : I’m sorry Uncle Kent; I lost my thesaurus. **Brockman** : [mutters] “My thesaurus” … you’ll lose more than that. [normal voice] In preparation for the big game, Springfield Stadium has caught additional seating capacity fever. [wads up the paper from which he’s reading in frustration] Rrrgh! ---
**Author:** ![Kyyrewyyoae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Kyyrewyyoae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyyrewyyoae)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/222 "2005-03-11T21:38:22Z")
Mr Burns, from The Old Man and the Lisa “Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor? Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys. Nature started the fight for survival and now she wants to quit because she’s losing? Well I say, ‘Hard cheese.’” ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/223 "2005-03-12T02:14:46Z")
I have two favorite moments. One is where Burns decides to have a fire drill at the plant, he activates it and he and Smithers wait outside to time how long it will take to evacuate the plant. Meanwhile inside people are variously praying, running around in circles, bashing other employees with the fire extinguisher, general pandemonium. They cut to the outside, where Burns and Smithers are waiting, Homer runs outside, grabs a bench and wedges it in front of the door so that no one else can get out, and runs up to them saying “I think I won, Mr. Burns!” The second one is in the one where they go to Flander’s beach house. That episode has a lot of good lines, but my favorite is after Homer has gone to the convenience store and buys > [@](#): > > Hi… ummm… let me have some of those porno magazines… large box > of condoms… a couple of those panty shields… some > illegal fireworks and one of those disposable enemas. > Ehhh… make it two. He brings the bag inside, Marge starts umpacking it and says “Homer, whatever you have planned for tonight, count me out!” ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/224 "2005-03-12T02:17:59Z")
I think this is the episode with the Trillion Dollar bill… Anyways, Burns and Homer are speeding away with it and you see Wiggum in his car. Over the radio comes: “…the suspects are fleeing in a 1926 maroon Stutz Bearcat…” They drive right past him in what is OBVIOUSLY the same car, and probably the only one even close to it left in the world. Wiggum: “nah…that’s more of a burgundy.” ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/225 "2005-03-12T03:24:59Z")
Let’s all sing along: “Most folks’ll never lose a toe, and then again some folk’ll Like Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokel” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/226 "2005-03-12T04:29:16Z")
Some folks’ll never eat a skunk, and then again some folk’ll Like Cletus the Slack-jawed yokell" “Hey whut’s goin on on this side?” ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/227 "2005-03-12T05:46:55Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > I think this is the episode with the Trillion Dollar bill… > > Anyways, Burns and Homer are speeding away with it and you see Wiggum in his car. Over the radio comes: “…the suspects are fleeing in a 1926 maroon Stutz Bearcat…” They drive right past him in what is OBVIOUSLY the same car, and probably the only one even close to it left in the world. > > Wiggum: “nah…that’s more of a burgundy.” Another great line from that episode: FBI Agent: We believe Burns still has that bill hidden somewhere in his house. But all we’ve ascertained from satellite photos is that it’s not on the roof. ---
**Author:** ![Skellington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Skellington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skellington)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/228 "2005-03-12T09:38:50Z")
By far the funniesd thing the TV has ever said (my brother and I laughed for about 15 minutes straight): Homer is imagining he is in an art gallery, he has just won a game of table soccer (if that’s what it’s called) aganst ‘David’ Homer: “take that Michelangelo’s David! Who’s Next?” ‘The Scream’: **MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/229 "2005-03-12T11:11:51Z")
Homer the Smithers: Homer walks in Burns’ kitchen, and is lost by the diversity and complexity of all the equipment. “Hmm… one of these must be a breakfast maker. Well, it’s my job to cook him breakfast, and I’m gonna cook the best damn breakfast he ever ate.” He tries to cook a shish kebab on the burner. It catches on fire. He breaks the window of the microwave door, and inserts another shish kebab. The microwave catches on fire. As a last resort, he pours some Corn Flakes and milk in a bowl. It catches on fire. When I saw that the first time, I thought I was going to bring something up from laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/230 "2005-03-12T11:23:28Z")
Burns is Dracula. The Simpsons go to his country house for a midnight dinner. They ring the doorbell of the imposing gate. Burns on intercom: “Welcome, come in! Fresh victims of my evergrowing army of the undead.” Smithers: “Sir, you have to let go of the button.” Burns: “Oh, son of a bi-” The door opens. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/231 "2005-03-12T16:17:52Z")
> [@Cardinal](#): > > As a last resort, he pours some Corn Flakes and milk in a bowl. It catches on fire. > When I saw that the first time, I thought I was going to bring something up from laughing. omigod. I’ve never seen that episode, and just your description of it made me laugh out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/232 "2005-03-12T18:04:32Z")
The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace: Homer! You’ve got it set on “whore” Missed most of the episode 'cause I couldn’t stop laughing after that. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/233 "2005-03-12T19:33:50Z")
I’ll have to add that episode where Marge runs the pretzel wagon. Cletus calls all these kids out of the house to get the free pretzels. “Brittany, Rumor, Scout… Q-Bert, Phil…” Every time a child came out of the house it got funnier. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/234 "2005-03-12T20:25:23Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > … Burns and Homer are speeding away with it and you see Wiggum in his car. Over the radio comes: “…the suspects are fleeing in a 1926 maroon Stutz Bearcat…” They drive right past him in what is OBVIOUSLY the same car, and probably the only one even close to it left in the world. > > Wiggum: “nah…that’s more of a burgundy.” Wiggum:…Subject is hatless, repeat hatless! or Subject is directly under the Earth’s Sun… Now! From the episode where Homer’s mother returns. Wiggum:(Ostensibly talking into a radio) Put out an A.P.B. for a Uosdwis R. Rewoh, Homer J. Simpson upside downbetter start looking in Greek town. Oh! and pick up some of those gyros! FBI agent: Uh, chief, you’re talking into your wallet. wiggums pictures spill out of his wallet. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/235 "2005-03-12T22:24:32Z")
In “Homer Loves Flanders”: Mr. Burns (talking to football players) I want you to remember that there’s a little crippled boy in the hospital watching you today. I know this because I crippled him myself just for you. Cuts to Milhouse in a bodycast at the hospital: I hope they win because Mr. Burns said he’d be back if they didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/236 "2005-03-12T22:47:15Z")
Here’s one I just thought of, and I’m surprised it’s not been mentioned: Homer singing “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba: I get knocked down I get knocked down again You’re never gonna knock me down. […] I take a whisky drink, I take a chocolate drink, And when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink. I sing the song that reminds me I’m a urinating guy. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/237 "2005-03-12T22:59:26Z")
**Superdude** I’ve never seen Homer sing that. Is it a newish episode? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/238 "2005-03-12T23:08:02Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > **Superdude** I’ve never seen Homer sing that. Is it a newish episode? It’s from “Little Girl in the Big Ten,” from about two years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/239 "2005-03-12T23:47:36Z")
> [@Pleonast](#): > > Halloween episodes should probably have their own category, too. Yes. Hilarious indeed. 😃 From _Treehouse of Horror IX_: _Scene: Marge is preparing to take Maggie trick-or-treating. As she asks the kids if they want to go, Homer walks by, looking like crap and eating from a can._ Marge: Oh, Homer, you’re not going as a hobo again? Homer: Going where? ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/240 "2005-03-13T02:29:20Z")
From _Burns’ Heir_: Burns: People, that was all wrong. Homer Simpson doesn’t say “B’oh”, he says… [leafs through script] “D’oh!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199.md?page=13)