# Funniest Simpsons moment ............ ever! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 6, 2005, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199 "2005-03-06T10:28:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/161 "2005-03-10T00:44:26Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Bed goes up… bed goes down… bed goes up… bed goes down > sunrise… sunset… sunrise… sunset…sunrise…sunset…[crash] > dental plan, lisa needs braces, dental plan, lisa needs braces, dental plan, lisa needs braces curly…straight…curly…straight…curly…straight…curly…[CHOMP!] ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/162 "2005-03-10T01:01:36Z")
(Homer wakes up from a nightmare, stares at a picture of Bart on the wall) “That’s the guy, that’s the guy from my dreams! Keep smiling, smart guy…” - Tennis the Menace (Homer is giving Bart some encouragement during the golf tournament) “Remember what Vince Lombardi said: If you lose you’re out of the family!” - Dead Putting Society (Homer is at Bart’s funeral) “…yeah son, I got off work today!” Marge: “Homer! How could you think of such a thing when you’ll never see your son again.” Homer: (long pause) Oh, your right! (sobbing) I’m gonna miss you, boy…" - Bart the General ? Marge: Bart honey, I made you an extra-warm sweater you can wear while you’re down in the well. Bart: Mom, it’s too big. Homer: Don’t worry, you’ll grow into it. Marge: Homer! - Radio Bart ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/163 "2005-03-10T01:17:06Z")
From the episode where Marge is arrested for shoplifting: **Bully (Nelson?)**: Hah hah! Your mom’s a jailbird!! **Bart: So’s yours.** **Bully** : Oh yeah. Let’s play! Then there was the episode where Homer bought Lisa a pony, and he had to work two jobs to pay for all the hay. Lisa finally realizes that the pony is too expensive, and gives it up. Homer then quits his second job at the Kwik-e-Mart, and goes skipping merrily down the sidewalk. Apu, watching him go, opines: (paraphrasing) “He slept on the job, he was rude to the customers, he stole, and he ate all the food. There goes the best damned employee I ever had.” From the casino episode, when the kids are whining about “when’s Mom coming home?” Homer replies, “Mommy has a new job now. She’s a slot jockey!” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/164 "2005-03-10T01:18:08Z")
Barney wakes up on a Greek freighter: “Oh, no! Not again!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@The\_Hook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hook)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/165 "2005-03-10T01:42:26Z")
The whole episode where Homer gains an extraordinary amount of weight to work at home (and leaves a substitute to punch keys) is priceless. However, one of the funniest bits is when Lisa explains to another kid on the schoolbus that her dad is not a food addict that chomps on everything he finds. Cut to Homer, next to the bus, in an Ice Cream truck eating his way into a cone. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/166 "2005-03-10T01:42:32Z")
Since it was on locally a couple nights ago: The entire episode “Margical History Tour” was hilarious. One of the best late-season episodes. Homer as Henry VIII “My name’s synonymous with gluttony, I’ll always eat a turkey or a ham…” “I could have married the King of France. _He_ wasn’t always so concerned about procreation - ding-a-ling-ling? Know what I mean?” “Because you stuck to your principles Flanders, I’m going to cannonize you.” \: “I can see my hooooooooouuuuuuuse!!!” Lenny and Carl as Lewis and Clark: “The Columbia River! Now to ride this baby down to the ocean and get us some sweet mermaid sex!” Nelson as Beethoven: “Ha-ha-ha-HAAAAAAW! Ha-ha-ha-HAAAAAAAAAW!!” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/167 "2005-03-10T02:08:12Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > From “I am Furious Yellow”: > > Smarmy radio announcer: “Don’t you HATE IT when carpet stores charge you extra for underpadding?!?!” > Homer: “I _hate._ THEM. _SO._ **MUCH!!!** ” > > And from the episode where Burns hires the softball ringers: > > Mike Sosa is dying of radiation poisoning: “Can’t…lift…arm…or…speak…at…normal…rate…” [Nitpick] It’s Mike Scioscia [/Nitpick] Along the same lines as your quote, though…: Homer is discussing his college days with Lisa. Homer: “I hate Springfield A & M _so much…_” Lisa: “Dad, you went to Springfield A & M. You hate Springfield U.” Homer: “_…So much_.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/168 "2005-03-10T02:12:18Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > A veryclose third is the entire Lisa gets married in the future to hugh grant episode. That’s a good episode, but it’s actually Mandy Patinkin. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/169 "2005-03-10T02:19:13Z")
> [@BraheSilver](#): > > Grandpa: I tell a cat and mouse what to do. > Homer: Interesting! > _(A thought bubble sprouts form Homer’s head. Homer is pushing Grandpa in a wheelbarrow while Grandpa sings a wordless little tune over and over, stops in front of a building with a sign reading “NUT HOUSE,” rings the doorbell and runs away.)_ Or in the episode where Selma(?) married Troy McClure. Troy reveals that he’s marrying Selma to get back in the “good press” category. The next day, at the wedding: Minister: If anyone has any reason why these two should not be joined in matrimony… _Camera pans to Homer. After a second, it zooms to Homer’s brain, which is playing Gary Glitter’s “Rock & Roll”_ ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/170 "2005-03-10T02:21:33Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > From the casino episode, when the kids are whining about “when’s Mom coming home?” > > Homer replies, “Mommy has a new job now. She’s a slot jockey!” Lisa: Dad, I had a bad dream. Homer (as he is going back to sleep): Tell daddy all about it. Lisa: Well, it involved the Boogeyman and… Homer: BOOGEYMAN! (Goes to Bart’s room and wakes him up) Homer: Bart, I don’t want to alarm you, but there may be a Boogeyman or men in this house. (Marge comes home to find the three in the master bedroom. They’re hiding behind a mattress and Homer has a shotgun) Marge: What’s going on here? Homer: Oh nothing Marge. Just a little incident involving the Boogeyman, which wouldn’t have happened if you had stayed here and kept me from being stupid! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/171 "2005-03-10T02:29:36Z")
There’s way too many to list, but the most recent that made me really laugh out loud… I was laying in bed the other night with my girlfriend asleep next to me watching one of the clip shows (“Gump Roast”) and this one part had me laughing so hard I was choking and gagging trying unsuccessfully not to wake her up: Homer is snowskiing downhill, his legs are spreading and he’s losing control: Homer: “Ok, don’t panic, remember what the instructor said!” Instructor (in a thought bubble): “If you ever get into trouble, all you need to do is…” Flanders (interrupting within the thought bubble, wearing a skintight skisuit): “Feels like I’m wearing nothin’ at all! Nothin’ at all! Nothin’ at all!” (While shaking his butt up-close) I wish I could remember which episode that was originally from. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/172 "2005-03-10T02:51:13Z")
Homer: “Jesus! Allah! Buddah! I love you all!” Homer: “Tramampoline! Trapapoline!” Willie’s one-man band performing “Maniac” Kent Brockman: “The spacecraft has apparently been taken over – ‘conqured’ if you will – by a master race of giant space ants. It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.” James Woods: “But as for me, I’m off to battle aliens on a faraway planet.” Marge: “That sounds like a good movie!” James Woods: “Yes…yes… uh, a movie… yes…” Capt. McAllister: “Arr, matey. Nary a warning light to be seen. 'Tis clear sailing ahead for our precious cargo.” Sailor: “Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?” Scientist: “How much time do we have professor?” Frink: “Well according to my calculations, the robots won’t go berserk for at least 24 hours.” (The robots go berserk.) Frink: “Oh, I forgot to er, carry the one.” Homer: “You made Lisa cry, then I cried, then Maggie laughed. She’s such a little trooper.” Scorpio: “By the way Homer, what’s your least favorite country, Italy or France?” Homer: “Uh…France” Scorpio: “Ha, Ha! Nobody ever says Italy” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/173 "2005-03-10T02:54:37Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I wish I could remember which episode that was originally from. [Stupid Sexy Flanders!"](http://www.snpp.com/episodes/BABF04) ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/174 "2005-03-10T03:11:26Z")
> [@Captain Amazing](#): > > He also yells at her for insulting Vassar. Also from that episode, when Grandpas friend is substituting, and and explaining all the misbehavior he’ll paddle them for, the line, “Paddling the school canoe? You’d better believe that’s a paddling.” always cracks me up. “Young lady, I’ve had enough Vassar-bashing out of you!” ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/175 "2005-03-10T03:22:29Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Bed goes up… bed goes down… bed goes up… bed goes down > sunrise… sunset… sunrise… sunset…sunrise…sunset…[crash] > dental plan, lisa needs braces, dental plan, lisa needs braces, dental plan, lisa needs braces Hello Joe! … Iron helps us play! … the crib is for the baaaby! … ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/176 "2005-03-10T04:05:04Z")
Smithers: Uh, I don’t think women and seamen mix. Burns: We know what _you_ think. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/177 "2005-03-10T07:01:28Z")
From _Homer at the Bat_: Barney: And I say, England’s greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston! Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder! Barney: Lord Palmerston!! Wade Boggs (poking him): _Pitt. the. Elder!!_ Barney: Okay, you asked for it, bud! (punches him out) Moe: Yeah, that’s showing him, Barney! (scoffing) Pitt the Elder… Barney: Lord _Palmerston!!!_ (punches Moe out) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/178 "2005-03-10T14:26:00Z")
> [@Frostillicus](#): > > “Young lady, I’ve had enough Vassar-bashing out of you!” Similarly: “I will NOT be a Gamecock!” ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/179 "2005-03-10T14:29:47Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > Lenny and Carl as Lewis and Clark: “The Columbia River! Now to ride this baby down to the ocean and get us some sweet mermaid sex!” **Homer** (as chief of the Shoshone, upon meeting Lewis and Clark): Long have we awaited the coming of the white man. And Carl. That’s the funniest line they’ve had in years. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199/180 "2005-03-10T14:33:05Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That’s a good episode, but it’s actually Mandy Patinkin. The one where Lisa goes to a fortune teller who looks into a crystal ball and shows her future? Are you sure? Because if that’s true, then Mandy Patinkin does one hell of a Hugh Grant impression. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-simpsons-moment-ever/293199.md?page=10)