# Funniest single line in a song? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 5, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773 "2003-10-05T23:47:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![hammos1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@hammos1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hammos1)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/61 "2003-10-07T12:22:15Z")
Some more tortured rhymes that make me smile… “You’re only smilin’/ When you play your violin” (Abba- Dum dum diddle) “I’m as serious as cancer/ When I say rhythm is a dancer” (Snap- Rhythm is a Dancer) “Bermuda Triangle/ Where people disappear/ If you see it from my angle/ Just don’t go near” (Barry Manilow- Bermuda Triangle) And some great song titles: Youth Culture Killed My Dog - They Might Be Giants (‘the white funk and the hip-hop just blew my puppy’s mind’) If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?- Unknown And the unclassifiable: “There’s not I think a single episode of Dallas that I didn’t see”- Abba- The Day Before You Came. As Tony Hawks comments in his book _One Hit Wonderland_, “there’s not a finer example of lyric writing that I didn’t see- or do I mean the opposite?” And a song that I can’t remember clearly but it had a verse as follows: _Wouldn’t it be funny If we had lots of money We could eat bread and honey And listen to Echo and the Bunny-_ \ _-men…_ ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/62 "2003-10-07T12:53:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > \*\* > > For a better-known option, I hate Barry Manilow with a passion, but I can’t stop smiling when he sings (in **Copacabana** ): > > “She lost her youth and she lost her Tony, > Now she’s lost her mind!” > > I think it’s the pizazz he puts on the last three words that makes me lose it. \*\* Oh, God, I know!!! He makes it sound like she’s really, really super lucky to lose her mind. :wally ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/63 "2003-10-07T13:33:15Z")
It’s not exactly a one liner, but I like this exchange in MF Doom’s _Let Me Watch_ Nikki: I’d rather masturbate than fuck with Vik Vaughn Vik Vaughn: Let me watch! I suppose it helps to know that Vik has just spent the entire song trying to get Nikki into the sack, before she blew him off after he said something nasty to her. Still, he won’t give up. ---
**Author:** ![St\_Ides](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@St\_Ides](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St_Ides)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/64 "2003-10-07T17:47:17Z")
[snip] Probably the funniest song I know. Every line is a one-liner. {Edited to remove the lyrics to a complete song. Not allowed here, sport. Read the 'structions. – Ukulele Ike, moderator} ---
**Author:** ![Stomp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71e660/32.png) [@Stomp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stomp)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/65 "2003-10-07T19:10:13Z")
'I’m a half-breed, just look at me, my skin is fair yet tanned, I don’t know what the hell I want, so 1-2-1-2-3 slam" “kinky hair when I wake up, it’s straight when I go to bed, my mommy is just a honky, don’t know what she just said, my daddy is just a negro, not one to play golf, I don’t know the hell I am so 1-2-1-2-3 slam” Guttermouth. ---
**Author:** ![Chris\_Sousa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@Chris\_Sousa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chris_Sousa)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/66 "2003-10-07T22:30:10Z")
The opening and title track to the Smith’s masterpiece **The Queen Is Dead**. Tucked into a song that discusses, amongst other things, the state of Britain in the 80s, drug abuse, loneliness, homosexuality, and of course, the Royal Family, there is a gem of a stanza in which Morrissey responds to the public mockery of his musical abilities. “And so I broke into the Palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner she said, ‘Hey I know you, and you cannot sing’ I said, ‘that’s nothing - you should hear me play piano’” And then, without a pause, he resumes his lyrical regicide…one of the funniest and coolest moments in music history, methinks. -Just read over my post. :smack: I think you just got to hear it to understand. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/67 "2003-10-08T00:26:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by E. Thorp \* > \*\*Like a pizza in the rain, > No one wants to take you home… > (Talking Heads) \*\* Correction: that’s David Byrne’s “Loco de Amor.” Still a great line. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/68 "2003-10-08T07:07:44Z")
Steve Miller ( I think) has: I’ve got an office, gold records on the wall. Just leave a message, maybe I’ll call. (what is the name of this song, it’s been haunting me lately?) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/69 "2003-10-08T07:09:22Z")
Never mind. It’s Joe Walsh. > [@](#): > > I go to parties sometimes until four > It’s hard to leave when you can’t find the door > It’s tough to handle this fortune and fame > Everybody’s so different I haven’t changed ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/70 "2003-10-08T07:27:46Z")
You and me, baby, ain’t nothing but mammals. Let’s do it like they do it on the discovery channel. -The Bloodhound Gang ---
**Author:** ![Daylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/45deac/32.png) [@Daylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylon)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/71 "2003-10-08T10:34:59Z")
Bob Schneider: “Sometimes I feel like superman, sometimes I’m just recuperating…” - Big Blue Sea ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/72 "2003-10-08T11:02:16Z")
“A stranger came to town and asked me why, instead of pulling in again I don’t just pass it by? But all my friends are buried here and some of them are dead, so home is where I’ll always hang my head.” From: Godforsaken Hellhole I Call Home by the Austin Lounge Lizards ---
**Author:** ![Angler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Angler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angler)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/73 "2003-10-08T17:45:22Z")
“There’s No Business Like Show Business” by Irving Berlin from the play of the same name. “…some great Shakespearean feat where a ghost and a prince meet and everything ends in mince meat…” “Oh, How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning” by Irving Berlin – written during WWI but very popular with GI’s during WWII as well. “Someday I’m going to murder the bugler Someday they’re going to find him dead I’ll amputate his reveille And step upon it heavily And spend the rest of my life in bed” Angler ---
**Author:** ![Mariemarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Mariemarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariemarie)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/74 "2003-10-08T20:15:49Z")
The Austin Lounge Lizards, \*Mama don’t allow no above ground nuclear testing around here no more. Mama don’t allow no above ground nuclear testing around here no more. We don’t care what Mama don’t allo-[BOOOM!]\* ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/75 "2003-10-09T02:10:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind \* > \*\*Correction: that’s David Byrne’s “Loco de Amor.” Still a great line. \*\* Ah, yes! From **Rei Momo**? I couldn’t remember the album to save my life, until you provided the song title. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Govindha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5fc32e/32.png) [@Govindha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Govindha)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/76 "2003-10-09T02:28:05Z")
“I’ll believe in god when one and one are 5”…Bad Religion ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/77 "2003-10-09T05:15:14Z")
_“Seen the lights of cities and been inside their doors Sailed to foreign countries and walked upon their shores I guess the guy she married was the best part of my luck She dug him cause he drove a pick-up truck”_ **–Leo Kottke, _Pamela Brown_** ---
**Author:** ![jovan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/0ea827/32.png) [@jovan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jovan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/78 "2003-10-09T05:43:02Z")
Another from Tom Waits: “When the weather gets rough And it’s whiskey in the shade It’s best to wrap your savior Up in cellophane He flows like the big muddy But that’s ok Pour him over ice cream For a nice parfait” _Chocolate Jesus_ ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/79 "2003-10-09T10:49:15Z")
Ahhh, another Austin Lounge Lizards fan! This thread reminded me of another ALL song I like–Hot Tubs of Tears Over You “Well our love was an expressway from the start And you took the fast lane to my heart And now my eyes, like L.A. skies, are smoggy and damp, Why did you take the nearest exit ramp?” ---
**Author:** ![lovelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@lovelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovelee)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773/80 "2003-10-09T11:02:02Z")
From **Morphine** , “My Brain”: my whole brain was out of tune I don’t know how to tune a brain, do you? went in to a brain shop they said they’d have to rebuild the whole head I said well, do what you gotta do when i got my brain back, it didn’t work right didn’t have as many good ideas haven’t really have a good idea since i got it fixed [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-single-line-in-a-song/205773.md?page=5)