# Funniest song titles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 26, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090 "2003-01-26T21:39:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MMercurius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@MMercurius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MMercurius)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/41 "2003-01-30T03:05:20Z")
The best ones are _unintentionally_ funny. This lyric is from a **Johnny Cash** song and it was actually the main chorus line, but I think it may also have been the title of the song too. (To country guitar backing) **"Does my ring hurt your finger, when you go out at night?"** ---
**Author:** ![angelicate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@angelicate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelicate)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/42 "2003-01-30T13:34:23Z")
NOFX: Clams Have Feelings Too (Actually They Don’t) Take Two Placebos And Call Me Lame It’s My Job To Keep Punk Rock Elite Ween: Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down) Mister, Would You Please Help My Pony? Waving My Dick in the Wind Help Me Scrape the Mucus off my Brain The Queers: Ursula Finally has Tits Night of the Livid Queers We’d Have A Riot Doing Heroin Kicked Out Of The Webelos I’m Okay, You’re Fucked Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got An Ugly Daughter Journey to the Center of Your Empty Fucking Skull ---
**Author:** ![bighead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@bighead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bighead)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/43 "2003-01-30T15:14:33Z")
Lyle Lovett is good for a few: She’s No Lady (She’s my wife) I Married Her Just Because She Looks Like You ---
**Author:** ![knock\_knock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@knock\_knock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knock_knock)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/44 "2003-01-30T23:12:53Z")
**She Think’s my Tractor’s Sexy** - Kenney Chesney. **halfsharkalligatorhalfman** - Dr. Octagon (on the album Dr. Octagonecologyst) ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/45 "2003-01-30T23:38:14Z")
“My Gal is Red-Hot, Your Gal Ain’t Doodly-Squat.” Artist unknown. ---
**Author:** ![bleach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bleach/32/3106_2.png) [@bleach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bleach)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/46 "2003-01-31T01:33:31Z")
Novelty songs have some cute titles. Here are some that Dr. Demento often plays: _Nudist Colony Of The Dead_ - Mark Pirro & The Pirromount Pictures Orchestra (from the movie) _Dachshunds With Erections Can’t Climb Stairs_ - The Mrs Ackroyd Band _Carmen Miranda’s Ghost is Haunting Space Station 3_ - Leslie Fish _What Can You Get A Wookiee For Christmas (When He Already Owns A Comb?)_ - The Star Wars Intergalactic Droid Choir & Chorale _She Left Me For A Destitute Quadriplegic Because Of The Good Sex_ - Mr. Zipp ---
**Author:** ![Jello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@Jello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jello)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/47 "2003-01-31T02:19:26Z")
The original Book of Lists had a list (suprisingly) of the “worst song titles ever.” The book itself is somewhere in a pile in my room, so I can’t remember the artists, but the titles were gold. “Mama, Get Your Hammer (There’s a Fly on Baby’s Head)” “Kill a Tree for Christ” “It’s Hard to Say ‘I Love You’ (When You’re Sitting on My Face)” Etc. ---
**Author:** ![dogchow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e495f1/32.png) [@dogchow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogchow)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/48 "2003-01-31T02:34:30Z")
NOFX:We Poured Gasoline on the Fire and Now We Have Stumps For Arms and No Eyebrows And the White Stripes “You’re Pretty Good Lookin’ for a Girl” made me laugh ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/49 "2003-02-22T05:35:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus \* > \*\*And one I’ve heard of but have never heard, so it may be apocryphal : “If you won’t go away and leave me alone, I’ll find somebody else who will.” \*\* That’s a real title, except it’s simply “If You Don’t Leave Me, I’ll Find Somebody Who Will”. And strictly speaking, it’s not a full song: it’s one verse that he wrote as the theme song for **Route 66** (not the original series, but a remake). But you didn’t imagine it, is my point. ---
**Author:** ![pervertatoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f07891/32.png) [@pervertatoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervertatoid)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/50 "2003-02-22T09:17:55Z")
I agree w/ the Anal Cunt post… “You’re Pregnant So I Kicked You In The Stomach” …or… “I Sent Holocaust Footage To America’s Funniest Home Videos” Hey, I’m not sayin’ they’re right, but they sure are funny. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/51 "2003-02-22T11:20:33Z")
Hmm, Anal Cunt’s a tough one to beat. How about some **Carcass** titles: “Genital Grinder” “Vomited Anal Tract” “Manifestation of Verrucose Urethra” “Cadaveric Incubator of Endo-Parasites” “Embryonic Necropsy and Devourment” “Lavaging Expectorate of Lysergide Composition” However, the weirdest title that has stuck with me for the longest has got to be “Every Time I Eat My Vegetables I Think of You” by the Ramones. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/52 "2003-02-24T19:12:19Z")
IMHO, some of the titles posted here aren’t funny - kind of gross, actually. (Why would you do an autopsy on an embryo and then eat it??) Johnny Socko (a great local/regional band about to hit the BIG TIME) has some good ones: _This is Your Vasectomy Bovaquarium If I Didn’t Have a Goiter_ ---
**Author:** ![coleridge78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@coleridge78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coleridge78)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/53 "2003-03-04T21:56:42Z")
Blue Oyster Cult: “Joan Crawford Has Risen From the Grave” Type O Negative: “Unsuccesfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity” --immortalized on their fake live album under the alternate title “I Know You’re Fucking Someone Else” Cannibal Corpse: “Meat Hook Sodomy” ---
**Author:** ![mozart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mozart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mozart)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/54 "2003-03-05T02:08:11Z")
" I’m a slave to my Dick" by Dead by thirty ---
**Author:** ![RawkStah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@RawkStah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RawkStah)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090/55 "2003-03-05T02:54:03Z")
The Dead Milkmen: “Takin’ Retards To The Zoo” Didn’t Carcass also have a song called “I Cum Blood”? Or was that Cannibal Corpse? I saw the title YEARS ago on an Alterative Tenticles sampler. Mojo Nixon: “Are you drinkin’ with me, Jesus?” Can we nominate album titles, too? The Dead Milkmen: “Belzebubba” My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult: “Kooler Than Jesus” Talking Heads: “Sand in the Vaseline” (boxed set) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-song-titles/151090.md?page=2)