# Funniest Star Trek moment **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926 "2006-05-08T18:12:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/81 "2006-05-09T13:35:41Z")
> [@Small Clanger](#): > > In First Contact I love Riker’s reaction when Troi falls off her chair having _blended in_ with Zeffren Cochran I got a laugh out of Cochran’s “you’re on some sort of a Star Trek.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/82 "2006-05-09T13:38:28Z")
Neelix: “I will not rest until I get you to smile.” Tuvok: “Then you will not rest.” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/83 "2006-05-09T14:02:23Z")
> [@Pushkin](#): > > Heh, thought of that almost immediately. > > As a cat owner, I liked the episode where Data leaves Spot with Worf for a while to look after. Instructions are left for Worf to tell Spot he/she/it is a good cat, a pretty cat 😛 WORF (_having listened with increasingly stony face as DATA recites an ever-lengthening list of instructions_): I will _feed_ him. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/84 "2006-05-09T14:19:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Also, from “The Doomsday Machine,” there was an exchange between Kirk and Decker that went something like this: > > Kirk: “Matt, where’s your crew?” > Decker: “On the planet!” > Kirk: “What planet?” > Decker: “There was, but not any more!!” Nitpick: It went Kirk: “What happened to your crew?” Decker: “I had to beam them down! I stayed here on the ship. Captain…last man…that’s what you’re supposed to do isn’t it!?” Kirk: “Where are they now?” Decker (after a pause where his face shakes from all the taut muscles): “On the third planet.” Kirk: “Matt…there is no third planet.” Decker: “DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT!? There was, but NOT ANYMORE!” William Windom rules. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/85 "2006-05-09T14:58:56Z")
> [@bup](#): > > William Windom rules Yeah, but what’s he doing in a “funniest star trek” thread? 😕 “The Doomsday Machine” is high drama for TOS! Although admittedly its sometimes debatable whether its Windom or the Doomsday Machine which munches more of the scenery in the episode 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/86 "2006-05-09T15:51:17Z")
> [@kingpengvin](#): > > When Bashir decides to relate the story of the Boy Who cried wolf Garak corrects him on the Moral > > “No Doctor you have it all wrong, The Moral is never tell the same line twice” I think it was "never tell the same **lie** twice. Which reminds me of a good Q line : “Oh please, don’t tell me the story of the boy who cried Worf.” Counseller Troi about Barclay : “Let’s see, he just had a disease named after him and turned into a spider. I’ll clear my schedule.” ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/87 "2006-05-09T17:59:53Z")
From STIV: 7th Heaven Mom: You’re from outer space? Kirk: No, I’m from Iowa. I just work in outer space. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/88 "2006-05-09T18:23:42Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > Counseller Troi about Barclay : “Let’s see, he just had a disease named after him and turned into a spider. I’ll clear my schedule.” As much as I dislike Troi, I have to admit that this is a great line. I still have to go with the falling-tribble scenes (both versions), though. This is one of the few cases where Shatner’s…excessive…pauses actually work. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/89 "2006-05-09T18:25:04Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > I think it was "never tell the same **lie** twice. > > Which reminds me of a good Q line : “Oh please, don’t tell me the story of the boy who cried Worf.” > > Counseller Troi about Barclay : “Let’s see, he just had a disease named after him and turned into a spider. I’ll clear my schedule.” Typo… honest! ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/90 "2006-05-09T18:28:43Z")
GENESIS??? Genesis planet forbidden is!. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/91 "2006-05-09T18:31:20Z")
Spock: Surely you must have realized what would happen if you removed the tribbles from their natural, predator filled environment and introduced them into an environment where their natural reproductive proclivities would have no restraining factors. Cyrano Jones: Ah, but of course…Er…what did you say? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/92 "2006-05-09T18:35:06Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Nitpick: > > It went > > Kirk: “What happened to your crew?” > Decker: “I had to beam them down! I stayed here on the ship. Captain…last man…that’s what you’re supposed to do isn’t it!?” > Kirk: “Where are they now?” > Decker (after a pause where his face shakes from all the taut muscles): “On the third planet.” > Kirk: “Matt…there is no third planet.” > Decker: “DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT!? There was, but NOT ANYMORE!” > > William Windom rules. He does indeed. I especially like in that ep how we get to hear his earlier taped logs, where he sounds competent, decisive, and composed, before he was overwhelmed by the disaster and lost his crew. ---
**Author:** ![FlightlessBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/cdc98d/32.png) [@FlightlessBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlightlessBird)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/93 "2006-05-09T18:51:35Z")
Alien: To your planet, welcome. McCoy: I think that’s _my_ line, stranger. Alien: Oh, forgive. I here am new. But you are known, being McCoy from Enterprise. McCoy: You have me at a disadvantage, sir. Alien: Oh, I name not important. You seek I. Message received. Available ship stands by. McCoy: How much and how soon? Alien: How soon is now. How much is, where? McCoy: Somewhere in the Mutara sector. Alien: Oh, Mutara restricted! Take permits many; money more. McCoy: There aren’t gonna be any damned permits! How can you get a permit to do a damned illegal thing? Look, price you name, money I got. Alien: Place _you_ name, money _I_ name, otherwise bargain, no. McCoy: Alright, damn it! It’s Genesis! The name of the place we’re going is GENESIS! Alien: Genesis? McCoy: Yes, Genesis! How can you be deaf with ears like that? Alien: Genesis allowed is not! Is planet forbidden! I love that speech. Q: You’re so stolid. You weren’t like that before the beard. and lastly: Holo-Troi: “I am the goddess of empathy…” Troi _angry_ “Computer, discontinue program!” Riker: “Computer, belay that order.” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/94 "2006-05-09T19:03:09Z")
> [@FlightlessBird](#): > > and lastly: > Holo-Troi: “I am the goddess of empathy…” > Troi _angry_ “Computer, discontinue program!” > Riker: “Computer, belay that order.” What’s even funnier is his and her reaction when they run into the _short_ Holo-Riker. Suddenly he fails to see the humor . . . ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/95 "2006-05-09T19:08:09Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > What’s even funnier is his and her reaction when they run into the _short_ Holo-Riker. Suddenly he fails to see the humor . . . [Geek Mode] Actually, I’m pretty sure you have the sequence reversed. Troi & Riker meet the short holo-Riker first; Riker begins to discontinue the whole thing, but Troi stops him, fearing (reasonably) the effects on reg of doing so suddenly. ("And after all,’ she points out, “you ARE very tall.”) A moment later they meet the bare-midriffed goddess of empathy, and troi is irritated enough to begin to delete it; riker stops her, feeling turnabout to be fair play. [/geek mode] ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/45deac/32.png) [@Evil\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_One)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/96 "2006-05-09T19:16:00Z")
Put me down for “I am NOT a merry man!”. I thought I would die laughing when Dorn delivered that line. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/97 "2006-05-09T19:20:01Z")
> [@Fabulous Creature](#): > > [Geek Mode] > Actually, I’m pretty sure you have the sequence reversed. Troi & Riker meet the short holo-Riker first; Riker begins to discontinue the whole thing, but Troi stops him, fearing (reasonably) the effects on reg of doing so suddenly. ("And after all,’ she points out, “you ARE very tall.”) A moment later they meet the bare-midriffed goddess of empathy, and troi is irritated enough to begin to delete it; riker stops her, feeling turnabout to be fair play. > [/geek mode] \< shrugs \> It’s possible; it’s funny either way. Another one is the scene from Voyager where Ensign Kim hallucinates/dreams that 7 of 9 is coming on to him; she grabs hims, says “Resistance is futile” and kisses him. Then theres a scene from _The Search for Spock_ where the Katra-ridden Dr McCoy is confronted by this big Security guy. He reaches up and does the Vulcan neck pinch thing - or rather, _tries_ too. Instead, he fumbles all over the guys neck while he gives McCoy this “What the HELL are you doing ?!” look. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/98 "2006-05-09T19:43:15Z")
My favorite “funny” Worf moment isn’t even played for laughs. It’s the subplot in “The Icarus Factor” in which Worf walks around pissed all episode because he can’t complete the 10th Anniversary of his Age of Ascension Ritual. Galactic buttinskys Geordi, Data and Wesley Crusher recreate the ritual on the holodeck without realizing once the whole damn time they were programming it that its a gauntlet Worf has to walk through just to see how much pain he can endure. As Worf takes each step forward he’s zapped repeatedly by holo-generated Kilogons holding electrified painsticks. By the end of the gauntlet he’s barely conscious and not quite walking upright. He finally makes it through and collapses to the floor. Before passing out he takes the time to growl to his horrified friends, “Thank you!” Hee. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/99 "2006-05-09T19:52:35Z")
> [@](#): > > **Q :** Oh, thank you Mister Worf. Have you eaten any good books lately? To briefly hijack, there’s a similarly funny line from the Trek novel _Q-In-Law_ (highly recommended!): **Q:** (addressing a crowd of visitors to the Enterprise) “You have to forgive Worf; he’s just discovered opposable thumbs and is feeling overconfident.” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/100 "2006-05-09T20:11:15Z")
> [@Khan](#): > > And Worf’s “merry man” line is only about 2/3 as funny without prefacing it with, “Captain, I protest!” Actually, I think the line is, “Captain, I must protest. I am not a merry man!” That plus his costume is just hysterical. Then there’s Barclay’s holosuite fantasy program, and Troi going on about how they must let it run to get an insight into his personality, until they stumble across the Goddess of Empathy. I think they heard her gasp of horror on the bridge. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926.md?page=6)