# Funniest Star Trek moment **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926 "2006-05-08T18:12:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/121 "2006-05-10T18:42:37Z")
So many to choose from! I, too, love the scene where Data instructs Worf on the care and feeding of Spot: \*Data: “He will need to be fed once a day. He prefers feline supplement number 25.” Worf: “I understand.” Data: “And he will require water. And you must provide him with a sandbox. And you must talk to him. Tell him he is a pretty cat. And a good cat.” Worf: “I will FEED him.” Data: “Perhaps that will be enough.” (As Worf leaves, holding Spot at arms’ length, he sneezes.) \* Two of my favorite aliens discuss a soft drink: \*Quark: “I want you to try something for me. Take a sip of this.” Garak: “What is it?” Quark: “A Human drink, it’s called root beer.” Garak: “Ahh, I don’t know…” Quark: “Come on… aren’t you in the least bit curious?” (Garak drinks.) Quark: “What do you think?” Garak (in wonderment): “It’s vile!” Quark: “I know. It’s so bubbly and cloying and happy.” Garak: “Just like the Federation…” Quark: “But do you know what’s really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to like it.” Garak: “It’s insidious…” Quark (nodding in perfect understanding): “…just like the Federation!” \* Data, in _Star Trek: Generations_, has his emotion chip in. He takes a sip of a drink offered by Guinan, and goes on and on about how unredeemedly nasty it is. Guinan offers, “More?” And he promptly responds, holding out his glass, “Please!” Wesley, dressed as Blue Boy, eating pie with his hands in TNG “Hollow Pursuits.” Wesley, about Picard: “He expects the impossible!” Geordi (wearily): “That’s the short definition of ‘Captain.’” Bashir and O’Brien, tired, hungry and on edge, feverishly clutch their weapons and wait for just the right moment to attack the groom as part of Worf’s and Jadzia’s wedding ceremony. Ah, memories… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/122 "2006-05-10T19:36:41Z")
> [@Elendil's Heir](#): > > Quark (nodding in perfect understanding): “…just like the Federation!” \* I was fond of adding “And it gives you gas…” > [@](#): > > Data, in _Star Trek: Generations_, has his emotion chip in. He takes a sip of a drink offered by Guinan, and goes on and on about how unredeemedly nasty it is. Guinan offers, “More?” And he promptly responds, holding out his glass, “Please!” Good call. The look on his face as he says “I hate this… it is vile!” is priceless. He hates the taste and he loves that he hates it. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/123 "2006-05-10T20:07:03Z")
R+D costs for emotion chip : 20 thousand bars of Guilt Pressed Latnum. Ship destroyed, largely due to android’s cowardice : 200 Million bars of GPL Glass of root beer : 1 slip. Look on Data’s face : priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/124 "2006-05-10T20:17:00Z")
I just remembered another one from TNG. I can’t remember the episode, but Data had created a program to spout meaningless smalltalk BS. There was a reception in ten forward where some Starfleet person was notorious for talking the same way, so he and Data engaged in an endless conversation where they both babbled in small talk. There was a great scene where Data was trying this out on Riker and Troi, and I’d swear that Brent Spiner was actually cracking up Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis - their reactions looked like they were breaking character and genuinely laughing. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/125 "2006-05-10T21:48:13Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > There was a great scene where Data was trying this out on Riker and Troi, and I’d swear that Brent Spiner was actually cracking up Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis - their reactions looked like they were breaking character and genuinely laughing. Was that the one where he was trying to grow a beard? I remember him asking, “And if I stroke it thusly?” and Troi had to leave the room. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/126 "2006-05-10T22:02:59Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Was that the one where he was trying to grow a beard? I remember him asking, “And if I stroke it thusly?” and Troi had to leave the room. Hmm…I don’t _think_ he was growing a beard in that episode, but I could be wrong. He definitely didn’t have a beard in that specific scene. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/127 "2006-05-10T22:14:51Z")
“Erm, excuse me . . . Why does God need a starship?” ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/128 "2006-05-10T22:19:11Z")
This one is funny looking back at it after all these years. This is from a very early episode (maybe even The Cage), anyway, the aliens teleport a couple female crewmembers off the ship right in front of Spock. His response… “The Women!!!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/129 "2006-05-10T22:49:31Z")
That was indeed _The Cage_, later shown in the two part _Menagerie_. It’s even funnier when you see it first after having seen Spock as the Controller of My Emotions for a couple of years, as many of us no doubt did, what with the syndication of the 70s throwing eps at us willy nilly. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/130 "2006-05-10T22:53:26Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Was that the one where he was trying to grow a beard? I remember him asking, “And if I stroke it thusly?” and Troi had to leave the room. No, the one where he’s making small talk with Commander Hutchinson (“call me Hutch”) is “Starship Mine,” the one where the _Enterprise_ is getting a baryon sweep by that big green thing that went _bzzzzssshshshshsh_ and Picard had to go back to the ship and ran into terrorists and had a big fight with them _pkow, pkow! pew, pew pew!_ and they made that flashy thing out of Geordi’s visor _ka-bzzzzzaaappo_ and everybody fell over and the good guys won. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/131 "2006-05-10T23:59:27Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > No, the one where he’s making small talk with Commander Hutchinson (“call me Hutch”) is “Starship Mine,” the one where the _Enterprise_ is getting a baryon sweep by that big green thing that went _bzzzzssshshshshsh_ and Picard had to go back to the ship and ran into terrorists and had a big fight with them _pkow, pkow! pew, pew pew!_ and they made that flashy thing out of Geordi’s visor _ka-bzzzzzaaappo_ and everybody fell over and the good guys won. [obscure video game reference] Thank you, Lu. [/ovgr] ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/132 "2006-05-11T00:39:36Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > R+D costs for emotion chip : 20 thousand bars of Guilt Pressed Latnum. So, the Star Trek Universe has Jewish mothers working in the mint? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/133 "2006-05-11T03:19:49Z")
In _Insurrection_, when Riker shows off his newly-shaven face. Riker: “Smooth as an android’s bottom, eh Mr. Data?” Data: “May I?” Runs his hand across Riker’s jaw, than shakes his head. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/134 "2006-05-11T04:14:55Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > So, the Star Trek Universe has Jewish mothers working in the mint? What’s not to like? ;j ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/135 "2006-05-11T05:43:51Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > R+D costs for emotion chip : 20 thousand bars of Guilt Pressed Latnum. > Ship destroyed, largely due to android’s cowardice : 200 Million bars of GPL > Glass of root beer : 1 slip. > Look on Data’s face : priceless. [mini-hijack] How was Data’s cowardice to blame for the loss of the Enterprise-D? I can see blaming it on neither Worf nor Riker thinking to make sure that Geordi wasn’t bugged when they got him back from the Klingons…but Data? [/mini-hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/136 "2006-05-11T09:09:36Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > That was indeed _The Cage_, later shown in the two part _Menagerie_. > > It’s even funnier when you see it first after having seen Spock as the Controller of My Emotions for a couple of years, as many of us no doubt did, what with the syndication of the 70s throwing eps at us willy nilly. To be fair though, at that point Mr Spock was just a funny-looking near-human, and it wasn’t until the pilot got rejected that they took the cold, emotionless aspect of “Number One” and grafted it onto Spock. Of course it was well worth doing, not least because Nimoy could act. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/137 "2006-05-11T10:06:45Z")
As an aside, it was great to hear the Amok Time battle music on Futurama before Fry’s fight as a national anthem. But back to the OP, “Trials and Tribbleations” was a laugh for the scene highlighting the difference between TOS Klingons and the New Klingons™. Colm Meaney and Alex Siddig were good in that episode too, their discussion of whether the Dr. would still be in existence at all when they got back to DS9. I got a kick out of the sychronising of the tribble thrown out of the storage bin by Dax landing on Kirk’s head 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/138 "2006-05-11T11:53:24Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > To be fair though, at that point Mr Spock was just a funny-looking near-human, and it wasn’t until the pilot got rejected that they took the cold, emotionless aspect of “Number One” and grafted it onto Spock… Yes, I know. :dubious: But my point was that it was not what we knew about Spock _when we first saw that scene_. Whether we saw the shows in or out of order when we first saw them, we still were only familiar with Spock as the half Vulcan half Human who controlled (or tried to) his emotions. So then suddenly seeing that reaction makes it even funnier. As my earlier post made clear, I was speaking of the first ever viewing of it. At this late date, everyone has seen The Cage and Menagerie scores of times. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/139 "2006-05-11T12:24:56Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Yes, I know. :dubious: Of course you do. I was presenting it as conversational grist to the mill, not seeking to fight your putative igerrance. 🙂 > [@NoClueBoy](#): > > But my point was that it was not what we knew about Spock _when we first saw that scene_. Whether we saw the shows in or out of order when we first saw them, we still were only familiar with Spock as the half Vulcan half Human who controlled (or tried to) his emotions. So then suddenly seeing that reaction makes it even funnier. As my earlier post made clear, I was speaking of the first ever viewing of it. At this late date, everyone has seen The Cage and Menagerie scores of times. Yes. Similarly, when viewing _Balance of Terror_, the first glimpse of the Romulan captain is the cue to imagine Spock thinking “Dad?! What the _fuck_ are you doing over there?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926/140 "2006-05-11T12:31:48Z")
😃 Which is why it’s so much better to be a Trekker (Trekkie, if you must) than one of those weirdo Star Wars obsessives. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funniest-star-trek-moment/355926.md?page=8)